Thinking a lot about living with this thing and how it affects us. I am writing this now thinking I know quite clearly that I am me. I do know that there was another me here this morning who was speaking to our SO on the phone and was in floods of tears and feeling terrible about something but I feel fine. I can see those bits but feel no connection to them. We spent an afternoon with 'my mother' some of the others just call her the old woman. These visits are always difficult. When we return we can never be sure how we are going to be and when we are there things can go from being fine to being difficult really quickly. Sometimes I just want to say to people, by people I think I mean the family this is how it is I cannot just be. When we came back this time someone decided we needed to go to the doctors, the doctors visit generally doesn't happen because by the time we get up in the morning we don't know what we wanted to go for and even if we write it down we don't understand the urgency. This time we don't know how our GP will take it if we turn up with a hand written note that says 'I think we need help we are living with a witch'. This to me sounds like we are starting with some kind of psychosis and anticipate that this is also how it will be taken by the GP who doesn't know us at all. Hopefully get new T in New Year. Really exhausted.

Hang in there until then....

Thank you. We will.