I'm new here. Im a gambler for almost 18 years. I'm a single mom. I use to have a very simple life and a good paying job. One day I was bored and decided to visit a local casino which 20 mins away were I work. I start playing the slot machine and I wasnt enjoying because next thing I know all the 500 dollars I brought with me is gone. I was shocked and started feeling sicked. I worked hard for that money and I didnt even win anything. The machine just sucked it all up. It might not a big money to lose in casino but for me it's a big deal. While I was walking around I heard people screaming and yelling in one table and I watch them. I dont even know what kind of game is that so I asked and this lady told me its baccarat. It look like it's so easy to win. In my desperation to get my money back I pulled another hundred from atm. I started playing with all this people and next thing I know I got my money back and won 900 dollars. I took off and very happy. That's the starting of my misery. In few months I was winning decent amount of money but I was so addicted and started going everyday after drop off my son to school in the morning. I work nightshift and I wont sleep because I'm gambling. Before gambling I used to drive a luxury car and go shopping all the time. Me and my son will traveled. But when gambling went in my life I was destroyed emotionally and mentally even physically. Every paycheck is deposited to casino and no way way you can withdraw. My car got repo my family hated me fo what I become. For so many years my life went sour and struggled so much. I decided to get a job far away so I will avoid casino. But so sad i made a lot of money in my new job and started going back to casino when I'm free and lose everything there..thousands of money. I felt so sicked just thinking about all the money I donated to casino and the depression. I could literally brought a new house for my son so he wont struggle even I'm gone already. I'm so ashamed to myself. I even have my partner get involved in gambling and it's bad cause he makes more than I make and he is struggling now to pay some of the debt incurred when he was gambling. Yesterday I went back hoping to win something after months of losing streak. I was scared but I went there anyway. I was so frustrated to get some money back but I end up Los in ng every single money that I had. I cannot break the cycle of getting my paid every two weeks and giving everything to casino and be broke for 2 weeks. I cant do this anymore. I'm so tired. Casino is so evil that it could turn a lot of people into a beast of their own mind. I know a lot of people want stop gambling but we are trapped. Gambling is the worse thing that I've done in my life. I'm a hard worker person and it's so sad that I got myself into gambling. I looked at all the casino not as entertainment as they are claiming. Casino is a hell and a lot of people is lured to get in and be stuck. If you look at most of the people in casino have the sadness in their eyes, you can actually feel the weight of depression and anger. A lot of innocent people that used to have a perfect life. I felt so sad how does all the people work in casino deal with this everyday. Gambling is designed to destroy every person that go in to casino. Maybe not soon but eventually it will. I cant do this anymore. I will self exclude myself which I should had done long time ago. .. I will re direct my happiness to normal way. I hope I will have a lot of support. ..

Glad to hear you will be self-excluding. I don't gamble but I know what it's like, to have addictive behaviours, and I know it can be very hard to stop them. Anything you can do, to stop, is good. I'm glad to hear they have self-exclusion wherever it is you are. Good luck to you in your endeavor, and be sure to post in the gambling forum whenever you need support with it.