Yet again we find ourselves in a large mess with no way of getting out of it. I want to cut and cut and cut some more and when I don't want to do that I want to go to sleep and never wake up. People have always told me that I'm such a strong person and that I can get through anything, but I don't think I can gget through what I'm remembering. Some people think that getting memories from alters happens through therapy, you have to work at it... it seems to me right now that for me there are just some things the littles can't hold on to so they're passing them to me, or at least sharing them.

I don't know what to do right now. I feel like I need help but no one ever listens to me so what's the point? No one takes me seriously when I tell them I'm struggling or am getting those old thoughts of not wanting to wake up. I'm at a loss. I don't even know why I'm writing this when I want to be locked away somewhere cutting. I know it's only a matter of minutes until everyone else is asleep and then nothing will be there to stop me.

Gah I'm just a total mess and I can't even tell my friends why. I can't let them know what I'm remembering I just can't. Guess this was just rambling, maybe it will help, maybe it won't but it's worth trying isn't it?

Dark xx

*hugs* I hope it did help...