There comes a time when we all turn around to look at ourselves and wonder why we don't recognise what we see. For some of us we are hidden by the abuse we have known or the pain we have felt, some are hidden through force, some through choice and others can not find themselves under the masks they have chosen to wear.

I have always worn masks, whether one to hide my pain from those around me, to characters I played upon a stage, through to masks of a person I wish I was. On a recent look at myself I wondered where I had gone, who I really have been underneath all this time. I have never opened myself up to anyone, even those who I class as my closest friends in the world, and I doubt even I know the deepest secrets hiding within my brain.

I start to strip off my masks and what I come to realise is that the more I remove, the more I feel both pain and numb emptiness. I still wonder who I am inside, if there is anyone of substance beneath all these roles and characters anchored to my soul, but I have yet to find a way to handle the emotions. Neither my science nor my magick can help me to understand, and when you take those away from me, what is there left?

Maybe soon I will be able to strip away more of my personas, but until then I shall suffer, as I always have, under the weight of my characters.

Dark, signing off.