Am worried about it. I always get scared by my psych and it puts me into child mode going. SO I have to try fight against that and remember i am an adult, not a child and try to remind myself she is not God and I am equal to her (Ha!). Well that is the theory - not sure about it in practise but I will try.

Things are still a bit odd atm. Spoke to my therapist about how triggered I feel currently. She wants to do some more inner child work - which makes me uneasy as I know it will be tough but I also know I need to do it in order to move forwards - meh. I wish life were easier sometimes.

I am in cancelling mood atm - been cancelling all sorts. I know all this reads like I might be getting low but I am not - mood wise I feel not too bad, super anxious but not too bad otherwise. But definitely withdrawing from 3D stuff. Maybe it is all because psychologically I am a bit wobbly.

Hopefully psych will go well - good thoughts and vibes my way please.

Hope you are all well

Hugs

Cracked

I decided to blog about something nice today and what better than being deliciously shallow and talking about the products that bring me joy So here are my top 10 products I like to use.

1. Body Shop mango body butter - this is gorgeous and the smell makes me want to eat it all up - nom. Really good for itchy scars too as very soothing.

2. L'Occitaine lipstick number 3 - gives a slightly rose coloured tint to your lips and smells of raspberries.

3. MAC Old Gold pigment - two tone eye pigment that has green and gold in it and it absolutely gorgeous - plus lasts forever.

4. Dove bubble bath - smells gorgeous - I love the smell of Dove stuff and it is really moisturising too. Plus I keep finding it on sale for a pound

5. MAC Mascara X - the best mascara I have ever found. Non clumpy but get full lashes and smells nice too.

6. Dumb Blonde smoothing cream - has sparkle in it and makes your hari lovely and soft - also smells of raspberries and is a really nice treat for your hair.

7. Radox Africa shower gel with roiboss in it. A different take on green tea - really refreshing and moisturising too.

8. Sure pink deodorant - I have used this since school and still think it is the best deodorant that there is.

9. Givenchy Very Irresistable perfume - my signature perfume

10. Versace Crystal - my other signature scent

It is nice to treat ourselves. We deserve nice things. What are your favourite products?

Hope you are all well

Huge hugs

Cracked

For the past couple of days I have felt totally out of it. I am not sure exactly why but it may be to do with bad news. Whatever it is it is very weird and not that pleasant. I had an art therapy assessment today and was sent home early as she did not think I was in the right place mentally to be doing it

Had a really lovely time with masq tho - she is totally lovely and such a good friend.

Not much to say atm as feeling really out of it but wanted to touch base and say hi.

Hope you are all well

Huge hugs

Cracked

Firstly having a wonderful time with masq - lots of fun and chatting. She is becoming a good friend.

I have some really abnormal blood test that have come back. They can be caused by a few things but most of them have been ruled out. It leaves 2, 1 being meds and one being something called myelofibrosis which is a sort of blood and bone cancer.

I am far too young to get this and it is also extremely rare so it is very unlikely I have it but I am worried about it all the same.

I am about the age my Dad was when he got a diagnosis of melanome - which is what killed him. And I keep thinking the same thing is going to happen to me.

I think I am getting my knickers in a twist over nothing:(

Having repeat bloods done next week and take it from there I guess.

Hugs all

Cracked

Hi All

I am building the mother of all playlists in youtube. I deleted my other ones as they were rubbish but this one so far is brilliant.

I am on the lookout for songs to add to it. If you can think of any you like please post a youtube link to them in comments for this blog. I will then screen them and see if they are any good if they are I will add them to my list

Thanks guys

Hugs

Cracked