I haven't been able to neither relate to my problems, nor have lasting success at working around them before, simply because there is essentially nothing that I can do which will last.

My problems (I think now) originate from the selfish falsehoods and delusions that people surround themselves with.
People who don't care about others, reality, or truth.
Liars and twisters of relations between people.

This is what makes me ill, and this is what makes me upset.

And because there will always be some elements of dishonesty and exploitation in human relationships, once I started analysing what people that I met really wanted, I could see little other than selfishness, manipulation, lackadaisicalness and supineness.

I could see little other than that because that, at heart, is reality.
People in general don't learn ethics, they don't learn kindness, they don't learn honesty, they don't learn to be true to themselves and others, and not to be afraid of making an effort and put in some work for community and greater good.

Which is why, after I tried a few times over the years, to work on my interpersonal and emotional problems, I shut down. Because I couldn't change my perspective and completely ignore the reality that I saw, but needed examples of how good people act.

Luckily, now I have at least one such an example, who I expect will become a good friend over time.