I'm going to fail my college elective. I expect this, and I'm kind of bummed about it.

I just can't do it... Between switching from mania/depression and the suicide/self harm thoughts, plus all my other 10 credits this semester, I'm stretched so thin, not to mention trying to sleep a little at least.

I really like this class, but I can't do it.

Its a violin class, so the dedication required is just too much for me at the moment.

May just call the instructor and ask him to withdraw me cuz he's gonna fail me flat out anyhow. Try to use what i've learned thus far to keep improving on my own, and if I feel better next semester, try again.

Cuz atm i feel like i've hit a spot I can work with until January when the spring semester starts. That way I'm more prepared, and possibly less symptomatic.

Yeah. I like that idea.

Other than that, my other classes are still salvageable and/or doing good. I just need to lessen this load a bit. Especially since I refuse medication.

And the guy I like is trying to handle my crazy XD
How sweet. I wish him luck. I can hardly handle it.

What I mean is he's trying to be patient and take it as it comes, while his method isn't perfect yet, he's doing okay.

I just have to try and keep rational and not project my crazy onto him.

Things have settled down a bit, I feel relatively normal today. I'm going to take it as a sign that things are improving until I see otherwise.