The amount of calories I have eaten in the space of a few hours today is TOTALLY obscene. Nearly two weeks worth of eating nothing has obviously taken it's toll on my body. Even if my foster carers had pinned me to the sofa all day while I was kicking and screaming, I really do not think it would've stopped me having a serious binge/purge cycle today. I didn't calculate exactly how many calories I had but I did estimate and I'm pretty sure I'm right when I say it's well over 10,000 calories. -cri.

- 1 x 500ml tub ben and jerry's ice cream
- 3 x 230g dairy milk chocolate
- 1 x 230g caramel chocolate
- 1 x whole jam and cream sponge cake
- 4 x packets of double choc chip cookies
- 1 x kingsize pack of maltesers
- 3 x large portions of chips
- 1 x veggie burger with small portion of chips
- 9 x cans of sugar free red bull
- 1 x chocolate milkshake
- 2 x bottles of coca cola.

My stomach had pretty much shrunk to a tiny size by the time I binged, but, strangely, I'm not in agonising pain and I'm sat here wanting to binge even more. It's like my stomach has gone from wanting no food at all to turning into some kind of bottomless pit that never fills up. Baring in mind I've purged this, I'm still hungry. Logically I know that purging does not get rid of all the calories, but the eating disorder tells me that it's what I have to do. You don't think logically at the time.

I'm in the house on my own tomorrow while my foster family are out for a meal for my foster mother's birthday treat. I'm going to be alone at the house with nothing but time and a purse full of money that's free to spend on binge food. I can't help myself. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween when it comes to my eating. I'm either eating nothing, or I'm eating thousands of calories.

This is the biggest binge I've had since moving in with my foster family which is now about 18 months. I have vowed to myself never to do this again but my head is still craving. I think posting on the forums may be a good idea.. I think I need some serious help and advice right now. I'm dreading getting on the scales tomorrow morning. -cri.

Trix.
xoxo.

I am nothing like you but I enjoy reading your blog from time to time. Good luck to you, and your future endeavors.