I have many therapists. My current one, is the 5th I've seen. I know her well. I trust her a 100%.
She was shocked at how much I'd changed. She said I used to feisty, independent and intelligent.
Not anymore.
She agrees with my diagnosis 100% and she is willing to work through my issues with PTSD and dig into my past to discover why, but in a safe and secure environment.
She told me someone should be looking after my bank account and my savings. What savings?! I've spent them all since I fell ill. I have no money left.
She's also worried about my drinking, she worries I may be on the way to alcoholism. At 18yrs old. My god.
We have a lot to work through and I'm ready to try and improve my quality of life, even though I am very pessimistic.
We talked through how lonely I am. She wants me to consider joining the Chapter Foundation (UK). I don't know much about it but I'm willing to give it a go.
We talked about upping my meds and she believes that would be a good idea, so I need to talk to my psychiatrist about that.
The therapist is worried I'm taking on too much and thought I probably shouldn't have gotten a part time job. I'm not quitting it though, my mum needs the money.
It was very tough, I felt very numb and I still do.