Around 6 months a go, I got "unwell" or as my family put it "a little bit down". I was in A&E a number of times. I had to leave college (huge deal for me as I love school!) A relationship of 4 years ended and I lost every single one of my friends. I couldn't go to University which has always been a life long dream. Eventually, I was diagnosed with "emerging" BPD with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (which I don't agree with!) Depression and Anxiety! For my birthday I had around 90 people celebrate with me. Now I have no one to talk to, I have no social life and no one wishes to be around me. I realise I'm... difficult. I'm suicidal, I'm aggressive, I'm emotional. I've completely changed. I don't claim to be easy to be around. I can't help but think the loss of my friends is a reflection of my personality. I need to believe I'm a good person. I need people to love me. I feel very alone. Every time I get close to somebody, they leave. The medication and the therapy don't bring back my friends and loved ones. But I wish they would!

I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my life.