Poll: Self Image

I feel pretty ugly. The feedback i get from other people would serve to strenghten that impression too. Even if i think i'm not attractive, i recognize that being physically attractive is not the main cause of my lack of experience with the opposite sex. A good personality is much more important than pure looks, allthough i recognize that good looks gets you lots of attention completely for free. So it's really my avoidant personality that causes the problems, not my looks. It's comforting to think about, because looks can be difficult to do anything about. Your personality could improve with time and some effort, or professional help.

I honestly would LOVE LOVE LOVE to believe and feel good about other people's compliments, but when I get them I feel like they are just saying that because you don't tell a person: "Well, to be honest, I think you're butt ugly!", you know? Even a "You're not exactly Johnny Depp" might be considered pretty rude by the general populace (I know I would feel infinitely rejected by the slightest negative). I have had people tell me, that I'm thin, reasonably attractive, yadda yadda. But I feel that they're not telling the truth. Not so much manipulating, but rather sparing me from embarrassment and the cold truth. I know rationally that I'm not a monster but I feel I pale in comparison to other people.
I know that these superficial things are irrelevant in a relationship, ultimately, but how can I show my personality when even the simplest, most mundane conversation seem like Mount Everest to me? I'm always amazed at how I see other people interact with one another fluently and at ease, or even when in a heated conversation everything runs smoothly.

Adna wrote:ForeverFlamed, AM I THE ONLY AVOIDANT WHO HAS GIVEN UP ON MANKIND?

*raises hand*

The rest of the world is pretty repulsive sometimes... People starting wars, killing people because their skin is darker than theirs, because their gods don't have the same name, etc. I generally think that I don't want to be part of that society, but sometimes I'll find myself daydreaming about just being able to go out there and actually be friendly to some total stranger who approaches me and tries to strike up a conversation. I'm on 2nd Shift so all of my free time is from 11 PM to 5 AM, so I don't run into many people anyway (except cops who wonder what I'm doing out that late ) but when I do and people try to talk to me I just end up walking away or trying to insult them so they'll leave me alone.

HI,
I voted yes on this poll because I have been degrated for my looks. First due to my OCD I lost a termidious amout of weight, then I went on SSRI's. Then my boss is always commenting that a BEAUTIFUL woman is one with utter flawless skin...FOLKS I have been at this job for years and i have to hear this. AND my boss has NO patients or time for those who are dsylexic like me! So he only kiss butt to those who are very very intellegent. Like a HIGH GPA.... I only went to college for a few years did NOT graduate either.
Most guys that I have dated thought that my skin was not that great, I ONLY have a very VERY mild case of acne and very pale skin. And I have this really really sweet look bout me.
This world base looks TO MUCH on the way HOLLYWOOD looks!!!!
SO in the worlds eyes I must be horrible looking.
Who cares what hollywood looks like atleast I could careless!!!!!

Aw, screw Hollywood. Have you ever seen a picture of Paris Hilton or somebody without make-up on? And people don't seem to know this but a lot of pictures you see in magazines and stuff are actually "retouched" with a computer to make them look absolutely flawless, and I'd imagine that this contributes to a lot of image problems for people. It just jacks up people's standards of what the opposite sex should look like to unrealistic degrees.

HI, hm...don't let me start commenting how other people are superficial, i got really tired of those kind.
HSP, I think beauty is very subjective, and I KNOW that people with
Avoidant Personality Disorder have much lower opinion of themselves especially when it comes to look.
That's why I know you are beautiful, in other people eyes as well,
it's just the inability to sometimes see your own beauty due to
negative influence of people around you with lower nature.

Another thing, I don't know if it's normal or not, but the ordinary beauty, symetry, doesn't mean much to me,
I find beatiful and interesting people with a special look in their eyes, with face which gives out wisdom, charisma, richness of spirit

Related to previous posts, I find mixture of races pretty interesting, special(in the lack of vocabulary i repeat some adjectives )

Btw, I had serious and less serious problems with my origin throughout my whole life.
Me and my family were even forced to move, then I had problems in school in another country where I was stranger,
when I got back I was stranger once again, like I wasn't accepted nowhere...

But I don't want to look back on that now anymore, I hope I will have more luck in finding understanding in future.

Still, one thing is definite considering my character, I always found difference interesting, I enjoy finding people who hold uniqueness within themselves, just like on this forum...

I fluctuate alot in my self-image. Sometimes I see myself as being unclean, perverted, stupid, and a general failure. Other times I have a huge superiority complex, like I'm more intelligent than others, sexier than others, and I get really excitable during those periods. Either way, a good dose of reality helps me out in both situations.

For the most part though, I think I'm a relatively decent, handsome fellow

My self image varies a lot also. It's very weird.

Physically, most of the time I think I'm disgusting. As in, absolutely hideous and I'm sure that when I go out people are staring at me because I'm so ugly. This probably stems from when I was a fat kid and boys would actually walk up to me and tell me I was ugly and fat. Other days I'm pretty enamored with myself in general and think that I'm very attractive. It's pretty rare though, and usually I feel best about myself when I'm keeping in shape and eating right. When I can remain objective I realize I'm pretty average in the looks department. Not showstoppingly hideous or gorgeous.

My opinion of myself mentally is more consistent. I probably regard myself too highly in that respect. I've always considered myself intellectually, emotionally, and morally superior to most other people. I've tried to get over it, but when I see the way other people act and conduct themselves, it's hard.

Yet even though I think this, I also am pretty hard on myself for failing to be able to mesh socially with other people. If I'm so smart, why can't I figure out how to interact with other people? You'd think if I was that smart I would have learned the correct ways to act and talk around people.

To sum up: I often feel like a person who has incredible potential to do amazing things with my life, and be a lot more attractive than I am, but I'm just too lazy and scatterbrained to buckle down and do it.

I have always had a problem with feeling very ugly. When i was younger, in my teens, I felt very ugly too. I know now that I really wasn't and I'm sad that I tormented myself so much. Now I feel incredibly ugly and I know I'm overweight. I feel like I come across as a stupid fat lump who is for the most part just ignored. i feel quite invisible to the opposite sex although I would dearly love a relationship. If I see the vaguest possibility of one on the horizon, I run a mile because I can't imagine how awful it will be for them to have to see my face after kissing me. I so envy people with confidence, whatever they look like. I'd love to be deluded about how I looked - it'd make for a happier life.

Most of the time I think I'm OK looking, until I meet a nice looking women. The first thing that goes through my head after 'she not bad looking' is 'but I'm not good looking enough for her'.