Therapy - what worked for you, what didn't?

I've never had the chance to talk with other people who also have SPD so i'm reading here A LOT because i'm just curious about how other people handle it. I've felt so misunderstood and so isolated for so long and i'm realy happy this place exists.

Now like on every forum, you have the usual trolls, the usual complainers, the usual peeps who just wallow in their affliction, the usual 'oh but i'm soooooo textbook', the usual 'ohh i'm soooooo different from you all so i'm better', but where are the people who actually feel a need to work at themselves, however hard it may be. Come out, come out wherever you are.

* Have you had therapy
* how long
* what kind
* were you positively or negatively influenced by it or did nothing change
* What were the things that helped
* what is absolutely 'no go' for you

Thanks!

* Have you had therapy
Might be in the future.

* how long
Dunno.

* what kind
Dunno.

* were you positively or negatively influenced by it or did nothing change
Nothing would happen.

* What were the things that helped
If I get money every month I'll be happy.

* what is absolutely 'no go' for you
Medications but the psychiatrist said they wouldn't have any effect on me so everything's cool.

I've had 3 months of fulltime group therapy, 2 days a week with group discussions, meals, dance/drama/physical expression and art.

I was in a crisis at that moment with social anxiety and major depression.
They offered me to go internal but i knew that would not do me any good as im also extremely homesick and that would be the push over the edge for me for sure. I was also very paranoid so i had a feeling they were all trying to corner me. It was not a fun situation, i was agressive and hostile towards just about everyone who got too close. I agreed with the therapist i was seeing at that time, to come to group therapy, Her own group. i dreaded that more than anything, but i had a strong feeling that if i didn't do SOMETHING, i would not live through another week.

It helped my depression to stay on the background more but the social anxiety stayed of course.
I think i have landed in the ultimate schizoid nightmare to be put in a large group of problematic people so i didn't continue. Don't know what exactly changed, but my depression is still gone after almost 9 months but i think thats mainly because i appreciate being home now more than anything else. I'll try to keep sane so i don't have to go back there. I didn't understand what dance and art had to do with anything and how it was helping me so that mainly made me rebellious. I understand they need to observe me and yaddah yaddah but i'd rather have coping skills and conversation skills, social skills. Being trapped in a group is just not my thing and the group couldn't handle having me around either, i was rather disruptive and non complyant and eventually they turned on me like one massibe block, i felt i wasn't protected by the group leaders enough to ensure me a safe place within the group so i didn't trust them.

I think individual therapy, therapy in a much smaller group or therapy with other schizoids would have been much more effective. but yeah, the 'not cheap' aspect of individual therapy does not quite fit into our very effective *coughsplutter* healthcare system.

flora wrote:I've had 3 months of fulltime group therapy, 2 days a week with group discussions, meals, dance/drama/physical expression and art.

I have to say that this sounds truly awful. I've never been through any type of therapy, but I have considered it. If I did go to therapy, it definitely wouldn't be group therapy. I'd probably get kicked out of group therapy, because whenever i'm in a position when i'm supposed to express emotions or i'm forced to listen to other people express their emotions, I get very uncomfortable and start making snide, sarcastic (and usually offensive) comments. I realize it's a defense mechanism, but I always end up amusing myself when it happens.

I have not received therapy, but I've found ways of thinking that have improved the quality of my life.

I think the main problem is how close to the surface the void is. Meaninglessness isn't an idle intellectual consideration; it pervades my life. So, the question is what to do about it.

Some things make you feel good, some things make you feel bad. I think it is a mistake to have too passive a view of this.

Consider a bad thing. There are two things to analyze. 1) By manipulating my perspective, can I improve my reaction to this thing? 2) If not, have I thoroughly explored the ways I might avoid it?

For 1, I'll give some examples that illustrate the scope of this power.
-I fell asleep unexpectedly and woke up several hours later with dirty teeth and a full bladder. I was in no mood to deal with those things, but it was necessary. I grumped about it briefly, then realized the situation was a challenge, and arrested my response. Frustration gains nothing but animalism, weakening what little control we have. Small victories can fill a day, and be a bigger force in aggregate than large victories. I got up and did what I had to do with a genuine victorious smile.
-Everything is meaningless, but this lowers the stakes. If success is hollow, so is failure.
-A hopeless situation is a release from the consumptive cycle of hope and anxiety.

I suppose in that sense I'm an optimist, although I hate the saccharin connotation. It's more like "What juice can I wring from this withered fruit?" We are slaves chained at conveyor belts, problems will never stop coming. But they our -our- problems; being a good slave is in our best interest.

wow, i had to read that quite a few times, nice to see some positivity in here and i cheered inside. Yes, its not going to be the big victories, cuz there arent gonna be many, don't sit around and wait for them, you need an active attitude for those to happen. But i swear, what you say is so true, if you let the perpetual lazyness take over and don't poke yourself to make the little victories happen, its entirely your own fault you have zero to celebrate. I do it too, ahh frickin nooo.... gotta get food... dress, go out, go get, put in fridge, make food, but if you don't you are just gonna be worse, half starved before you finally get going, laden with anxiety, staggering into the market, something you could also have done while you were feeling up to it.

Same goes for friendship. Its give and take, not just take and take. Gotta make effort in the things you CAN contribute. Just cuz i can't be there for you emotionally, does not mean i can't have a valuable friendship with you based on other things like practical help or things like that. People tend to forget it takes actual effort to get through life. I have friendship because i work at it, its not just magically THERE. I might not feel like i want to do something, but part of friendship is also making sure the other person is happy too, even if you don't feel like it.

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flora wrote:* what is absolutely 'no go' for you

Group therapy for the reasons you mentioned.

Individual therapy, they try to put their own reality onto you. But if it does not work in the marketplace, it won't work in an office either. I did not see a difference in the talk of a psychologist or the talk of any random stranger, aside that the psychologist tries to make you believe he/she cares. But essentially, their arguments are the same.

As a small child my mother took me to a few doctors. Around 1st grade I remember seeing a child psychologist but nothing really came from that. At around 11th grade I was in a group of other children but that did not do anything either.

When I was 19 I went to work for a cousin of mine. He thought he would make waves with me. So I went to a psychiatrist regularly and began taking anti-depressants. I even had a scan of my brain done. Was kind of cool seeing a 3d computer image of my brain. However this did not seem to do anything for me. In a span of ages 20-22, I went to psychiatrists for a few months then quit and then go back again.

At the age of 36 I went back into single therapy and taking medications again. This did not seem to do anything for me either. Due to budget cuts I was put into group therapy. Some of the stuff they went over I already knew but I did learn a few things. November 5 of 2012 I had a single meeting with one of the group session leaders. I was assuming it was going to be another wasted session. As we were taking I noticed she was typing away on her computer and then she printed something out. She handed me a sheet of paper with the title SCHIZOID PERSONALITY DISORDER at the top. She suggested that I look into that. Later that night I did and found that pretty much all of the criteria fit me.

Some of my first reactions was joy at finally finding out was was "wrong" with me. Then came some anger in the fact that for most of my life I was treated for what they thought was depression. That if I was happier I would start talking to people. Well it doesn't matter how happy I am cause most likely I still won't be talking much to people. So the reason that therapy did not do much for me all these years is that I was treated for wrong thing. I still go to group therapy. Unfortunately the woman that pointed me to SPD retired, I think I learned the most from her.

So now I am not taking medications anymore, as I never felt they did anything for me in the fist place. Also medication is not recommended for long term treatment of spd. I am trying to get myself motivated to do basic tasks. I have calenders placed throughout my house that I record positive things that I did that day. I think of Bartleby the scrivener's response of "I'd rather not" to be fitting for me. So even if I would rather not do something I try to make myself do it anyway. Through meetup I found an anime group in my city that I take part in. Once every week we meet for about 3 hours and I will try to start hosting anime viewing parties at my house. Also I try to be much more aware of my stress levels. In one case I went to the grocery store at its busiest time. I did not like it but I found that I can tolerate it. Just trying to push myself to get things done everyday.

Yes, its easy to see through, the supportive hand on my shoulder to feel if i cringe, same the next day to see if i still cringe, i mean seriously, thats not going to change, stop trying to BLOODY CHANGE ME, and give me TOOLS to live life in YOUR society, because I HAVE NONE. But i'm not going to change. Thats what they seem to forget. I want the tools, teach me assertiveness with your kind of people so i can acurately explain why i don't want some things and what my needs are. I DO NOT NEED to CHANGE, i need society to be welcoming variety and have a place for me TOO. I'm putting up with all of you too, hows that any different. I am a flavor not a DEVIATION that needs to be FIXED. (end rant)