Therapy - what worked for you, what didn't?

yeah, thats how i felt too for a long while, addapt or die. The addapt is still not realy working but at least the 'die' is gone now. Not gonna happen, though if i get run over by a truck tomorrow, it wouldn't realy bother me either. Flounder on i guess.

flora wrote:yeah, thats how i felt too for a long while, addapt or die. The addapt is still not realy working but at least the 'die' is gone now. Not gonna happen, though if i get run over by a truck tomorrow, it wouldn't realy bother me either. Flounder on i guess.

Hehe I always felt like that, that a if a truck would run me over. I wouldn't even be sad but be happy.

* Have you had therapy
Yes, I have

* how long
About a 1,5 years

* what kind
Something like cognitive behavioral therapy

* were you positively or negatively influenced by it or did nothing change
Nothing change

* What were the things that helped
Nothing

Adapt or die...hmm...

Or are we dead inside long ago and missed the fact that our so-called 'defense mechanisms' are the very adaptations?

I don't know if what they call 'defense mechanisms' are nurtured or actually inherent. I tried to find myself but I found out that I never had a self. Born without a self.

How could therapy work? Unless it helps us find our true selves which I even don't know if it exists in schizoids.

I don't know if what they call 'defense mechanisms' are nurtured or actually inherent. I tried to find myself but I found out that I never had a self. Born without a self.

I have thought about this for a while, if the defense mechanism truly are a product of some traumatic event or a series of negative experiences. I have not decided about anything, I'm going to study some basic psychology in school soon to learn more since I fear I am a bit inexperienced at the moment.
For me at least I can't point out anything in my life that sounds close to cause me to create defense mechanisms so I am thinking that maybe it is more to it than simply being a cause of some negative impact.

I think therapy would be a good way to find these things out. Sad though that many here seem to not have gained anything from therapy.

shadowrift wrote:

I don't know if what they call 'defense mechanisms' are nurtured or actually inherent. I tried to find myself but I found out that I never had a self. Born without a self.

I have thought about this for a while, if the defense mechanism truly are a product of some traumatic event or a series of negative experiences. I have not decided about anything, I'm going to study some basic psychology in school soon to learn more since I fear I am a bit inexperienced at the moment.
For me at least I can't point out anything in my life that sounds close to cause me to create defense mechanisms so I am thinking that maybe it is more to it than simply being a cause of some negative impact.

I think therapy would be a good way to find these things out. Sad though that many here seem to not have gained anything from therapy.

The defence triggers can be trivial - in fact in many cases they will be trivial. The point is that to the individual they resonate very strongly. It can be something truly silly and irrelevant but it still makes an impact. It doesn't necessarily have to be something objectively horrible like abuse. On top of that it can be unremembered; either blocked out or more likely happening in early childhood.

I think that traumatic event is synonymous with repeated negative experiences in this case. Each unreconciled negative experience is a mini-trauma on its own and adds to the whole, eventually shaping your personality around that mass of trauma. I mean, people who do experience such extreme things as abuse rarely point to any one instance that 100% traumatized them; it's often a collection of repeated experiences over time. If we also take an extreme example such as PTSD in say a World War, the cases we hear are not of people who got PTSD on the first day at the front.

I also am of the opinion that SPD places a filter on my memories; I see them as quite pointless and inconsequential. But obviously at the time they were not inconsequential. At the time it could have been absolutely engulfing, especially to a child. So I don't trust myself to be able to remember exactly what might have triggered things since I'm detached and apathetic even to my own memories.

The defence triggers can be trivial - in fact in many cases they will be trivial. The point is that to the individual they resonate very strongly. It can be something truly silly and irrelevant but it still makes an impact. It doesn't necessarily have to be something objectively horrible like abuse. On top of that it can be unremembered; either blocked out or more likely happening in early childhood.

Childhood can be very tricky since everything is so foggy and I wouldn't be surprised if I suppressed memories that was negative or traumatic at that time.

I think that traumatic event is synonymous with repeated negative experiences in this case. Each unreconciled negative experience is a mini-trauma on its own and adds to the whole, eventually shaping your personality around that mass of trauma. I mean, people who do experience such extreme things as abuse rarely point to any one instance that 100% traumatized them; it's often a collection of repeated experiences over time. If we also take an extreme example such as PTSD in say a World War, the cases we hear are not of people who got PTSD on the first day at the front.

I agree with that it is sounds very likely that it would be a series of impacts that causes the defense mechanism, but still does not every person experience hardships along their life? Somehow most people can move past this without being affected. So at that point do we already have SPD and the events start to strengthen our traits and create new ones while a more normal person can shrug it off or cope with it in a more normal way?

I also am of the opinion that SPD places a filter on my memories; I see them as quite pointless and inconsequential. But obviously at the time they were not inconsequential. At the time it could have been absolutely engulfing, especially to a child. So I don't trust myself to be able to remember exactly what might have triggered things since I'm detached and apathetic even to my own memories.

I fully agree that memories are very untrustworthy, I wish I had recored all my thought since childhood in books and video files. It would be a treasure to analyze now.

shadowrift wrote:I agree with that it is sounds very likely that it would be a series of impacts that causes the defense mechanism, but still does not every person experience hardships along their life? Somehow most people can move past this without being affected. So at that point do we already have SPD and the events start to strengthen our traits and create new ones while a more normal person can shrug it off or cope with it in a more normal way?

Not all become schizoid but they do have their own reactions, good or bad. I'd catagorize a very small % of the population as truly healthy. But as for SPD itself, I don't think I can believe that we're born with it. To sum it up it just doesn't feel right, to me. Perhaps early childhood triggers it initially and then it's built up.

It's largely understated, and most do not like to admit it, but schizoids do have a higher than average sensitivity. Psychiatric sources point to this and I think it is in-line with how SPD works. There's a limit to what we can handle and I think this shows from the tame nature of this board compared to others. The sensitivity and intensity of feeling can become so overwhelming that you just snap and shut it off, even if you're living an average lifestyle. To a hypersensitive person the average lifestyle can easily be mentally and physically intolerable, to the point where cutting it all off seems the only option, even though it isn't a full solution. I don't think all schizoids are hypersensitive but I would bet that a higher than normal % are.

vagabondage wrote: I tried to find myself but I found out that I never had a self. Born without a self.

How could therapy work? Unless it helps us find our true selves which I even don't know if it exists in schizoids.

I have had psychoanalytic therapy and I was thinking after it my true self is pursuit of isolation and fantasizing

QrvaMatch wrote:Not all become schizoid but they do have their own reactions, good or bad. I'd catagorize a very small % of the population as truly healthy. But as for SPD itself, I don't think I can believe that we're born with it. To sum it up it just doesn't feel right, to me. Perhaps early childhood triggers it initially and then it's built up.

It's largely understated, and most do not like to admit it, but schizoids do have a higher than average sensitivity. Psychiatric sources point to this and I think it is in-line with how SPD works. There's a limit to what we can handle and I think this shows from the tame nature of this board compared to others. The sensitivity and intensity of feeling can become so overwhelming that you just snap and shut it off, even if you're living an average lifestyle. To a hypersensitive person the average lifestyle can easily be mentally and physically intolerable, to the point where cutting it all off seems the only option, even though it isn't a full solution. I don't think all schizoids are hypersensitive but I would bet that a higher than normal % are.

Avoidants have a higher than average sensitivity too but they don't block their emotions. I think we born with it, I cannot find other cause of SPD

Nymeria wrote:

vagabondage wrote: I tried to find myself but I found out that I never had a self. Born without a self.

How could therapy work? Unless it helps us find our true selves which I even don't know if it exists in schizoids.

I have had psychoanalytic therapy and I was thinking after it my true self is pursuit of isolation and fantasizing

QrvaMatch wrote:Not all become schizoid but they do have their own reactions, good or bad. I'd catagorize a very small % of the population as truly healthy. But as for SPD itself, I don't think I can believe that we're born with it. To sum it up it just doesn't feel right, to me. Perhaps early childhood triggers it initially and then it's built up.

It's largely understated, and most do not like to admit it, but schizoids do have a higher than average sensitivity. Psychiatric sources point to this and I think it is in-line with how SPD works. There's a limit to what we can handle and I think this shows from the tame nature of this board compared to others. The sensitivity and intensity of feeling can become so overwhelming that you just snap and shut it off, even if you're living an average lifestyle. To a hypersensitive person the average lifestyle can easily be mentally and physically intolerable, to the point where cutting it all off seems the only option, even though it isn't a full solution. I don't think all schizoids are hypersensitive but I would bet that a higher than normal % are.

Avoidants have a higher than average sensitivity too but they don't block their emotions. I think we born with it, I cannot find other cause of SPD

I'd say that certain aspects are from birth, and others are acquired. I've always had a lack of emotion, and my schizoid behaviors and mind state seem to be a result of that.