Messing with a narcissist's head?

Incidious and constant bait and switch. I think that's the trick.

Be unpredictable.

I've done just that, only the narcissist was a she and though she thought everything was under her control. After it was said and done, I believe she saw that, she had been used and taken advange of. The problem with messing with a narcissist is that after it's all over and done with, they don't care. It becomes just more water under the bridge for them.

I invited mine to a 3 some, she had remarked on few occasions on how much fun it would be. Afterwards, the other girl and I left together and said to her; "thanks for the sex, your a nice piece of ass and the photographs, let us know if you want to get ###$ again"! We slammed the door and walked down the steps of her appartment holding hands and smiling.

Airplane

This is the type of thread I would never typically participate in. (see the posts )

But it also gives the perfect opportunity to raise the question of the spectrum...
Here we talk of people as "Narcs" and "normals", as if somebody sits on one side of the fence or the other.
The great majority of people who might be called into question here show varying degrees of traits... some more than others..
and the reality is that we have them in our lives (or we have some degree of traits in ourselves), and as humans continue to look for effective ways to relate.

As a person who is in a life-long relationship with more than one person who show varying degrees of traits, I am not in the position to a) abandon them, No Contact.. nor b) beat them at their own game. Especially because I don't buy into their game, their rationale, by way of default. And I can't believe that my options are limited to only these.

I understand the need to 'win', to 'pay-back', to show somebody who has completely disregarded your humanity that he/she is not more superior for having done so. But it's a senseless competition, if one is forced to play according to rules and principles that are not his/her own.

Not playing (or competing), I believe, is possible, without necessarily abandoning all contact, nor, more importantly, abandoning one's own grounding and principles... It takes a strong and sure center - this should be one's objective.