Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

housealwayswins wrote:hope this guys ok. I think like every gambler he won't just quit and is still gambling. I been through what you have man, lost around that amount too in a matter of days. It ###$ me for years. But, it does get better and believe it or not new doors open and you can have a happy and healthy life again. This ###$ up thing was destined to be part of your journey. One day in years to come you will honestly look back and say it changed me and hurt me but didn't break me. I learnt a lesson and now it doesn't even bother me.

But, as long as you are gambling, you won't get over this and move forward in life and live the life you are supposed to. Gambling just holds you back and stunts your growth as a person and also your life. You won't move on as long as you are gambling. Oh and if you continue to gamble, you will lose this amount plus more guaranteed. You think you can just stop when you win, think again. You would have stopped last time. You can't just flick a switch and stop. Addicts never can.

Save yourself the time, pain and money. Live your life and get back to being you. You will meet a great girl if you havn't already. That's what life is about. Love, happiness, and progress.

It's a huge amount for the OP or for anyone and I don't care what anyone says, you don't just 'get over it'. Losing a significant amount of your net worth in such a short period of time - or even over many months or years can take a huge emotional toll. Once you wake up from the gambling trance you look back and have many WTF moments.

But your right, the one thing I can agree on it does heal with time - but you have to work your butt off and just try to have some goals and do better.

The deal of a lifetime comes around every 2 weeks I heard someone say, so there is always the chance to make honest money provided you put the effort in.

not sure if you're referring to me, but I didn't nor am I implying that he is just going to get over it. I personally did, and I mentioned it took years. No one can lose that kind of money and be ok with it in a short amount of time. And the fact is if one still gambles they certainly will not get over it and will only start the process of healing once they stop, which can take years.

Hope you are still doing ok OP, it's good to update on here, can help.

One point I would make is that is an amazing amount of money to lose, and for it not to a debt of some sort. Small mercies, but consider that you are not in debt as a positive in this. Many here will have lost much less, but owe much more than you do now. Use any positive you can, I would say. It's hard for many of us to do that, but that's all we have left to do each day, find a positive to enter our heads instead of the other thoughts.

There is more to lose than just money from a gambling addiction. Everyone's experiences and "losses" are different.

You have lost a large amount of money. At least you were honest to your family. You are only 23 and have so much time to make amends. For many that's the biggest loss....the loss of TIME. Time spent gambling, time spent lying to yourself and the others that love you.

Others lose relationships and family and anyone who cares for them.

Take my current situation......

I've recently been found out that I have been lying to my girlfriend. We have just bought a house together and I had been pretending I had been gamble free for 18 months (I had managed 9 months). She is absolutely distraught and is questioning our relationship. She even said that she felt that I had died as the person she loved. Total gambling losses......800 pounds. It's all relative you see

I'm currently back in with my parents at 36 and lamenting all the positive things that I could be experiencing. This is our first house, the start of something special.....it could all be over.

I started gambling at 23.....

I have been lurking on this forum for a couple of hours and I decided to join right after reading your post. I wanted to join and write about my own gambling addiction, but I think I can do it by answering your post, so that my story could also be helpful.
First of all, I strongly recommend you to seek professional help and perhaps to pay a visit to Gamblers Anonymous, this could help you managing the emotional turmoil you are experiencing right now.

I don't want to tell you a scary story in order to keep you away from gambling again (it never works), I just want you to consider what a bad life is expecting gamblers who don't take action as soon as they realize they have an addiction, so it is not about the money you lose, it is about the opportunities you could waste.
I identified with your story: I started gambling at 15 and only when I was about your age I relized I had an addiction, I started with poker, sport bets and horse races, then I focused myself almost solely on slots and online casinos.
I remember my late teen and early twenties as a #######5 time, while most of my friends-peers lived a quite carefree time. Most of my youth memories are about sleepless nights, vacations I missed, things I couldn't afford, shame for the lies and things I've done, regret for the relationships I have destroyed.
I started working at 19 while I attended the university.
I used to burn my paychecks within two hours, I asked my parents, friends, ex girlfrend and even my little sister for money, I stole money from my dad's bank account, stole from my grandma, sold things that didn't belong to me, stole jewels from my mom, burned about 6 credit cards, most of all I regret having sold piece by piece on ebay a big collection of coins that my grandpa gave me as a present being I the only male grandson (it took him about 70 years to collect it).
I knew that something wasn't going the right way but I didn't care, I used to justify my actions and my family saved my ass every time, moreover I truly believed it was just a matter of time before I hit a big win and work it all out.

One day I turned 400 Euros in 12k playing blackjack online, so I decided to go on vacation with my ex, we stayed for a couple of days in Florence (I am Italian), I spent those days in total restlessness, wondering how to turn 12k into 16k, the amount I needed to buy the car I wanted.
As I came back home I sat on the chair and started gambling, max. bet was 4k so I put a 4k bet being sure to win, not only I didn't win but I put another 4k bet and got two 7 against 10, so I decided to double split..and got two 17s..against 18.
It took me 20 seconds or less to loose 12.000 Euro, my six months salary.
I sat catatonic for a while then I had an anxiety attack and didn't sleep for two days, that day the usual justification “in the end it was just money I won" didn't work.
That day I could't justify myself because I realized how crazy I had been for years.
I was disgusted with myself as I realized after years and years of gambling how bad my situation was.
So I made a count for the first time in my life, I printed my bank and paypal history: 4 years and a half of salary except 2 or three times I spent it, plus money I borrowed, plus money I got from my relatives, plus money I stole, plus money from my coins collection (more than 80k), I ended up with a list and the bottom line sum was something between 350k and 500k.
It was 2008 and I was 24 and in the previous 8 years I had wasted the average person lifetime savings.

Months of depression and on-off gambling followed, and everytime I gambled I experienced severe depression, shame and guilt, until I managed to quit on dec. 2008 when I promised myself not to gamble anymore.
This is the only good time of my life I can tell, I re-started university, had lots of experiences and lots of girls, rented my own house and put myself back toghether.

But, in 2012, after 3 years and a half my sober time ended. I can't tell you exactly why it happened, maybe I believed I was recoverd and a social gambler, or maybe I couldn't cope with my mom having cancer or the bitch I loved that was cheating on me.
So I bought that gooddamn scratch and win, I lost and after a few days I was at the starting point.

Now, after 4 more years in the downward spiral and 33 y/o I cuss that day.
I quit my job and had to quit university too one step away from getting my deegree in philosophy as I couldn't pay taxes, if I felt ashamed for the things I did in the past now I can only prey God to forgive me as I cannot forgive myself anymore.
I drained my bank account and an account my dad made for me with money he had after his retirement; my house looks like an abandoned one and you can guess why, I sold my bike, two cars, paintings I inherited, even my tv, stereo, my xbox and computers.

I have been a zombie for the last 4 years, spending my days in front of a VLT and never hitting a big one, the most I won has been around 1k which I always put back in, most of the times without even cashing out. I haven't made a count but the actual amount of losses is in the range of one-two hundreds of thousand euro, I have gained weight and lost strenght and hope. I see myself and I see a worthless loser with belly fat, drinking beer and smoking in front of a VLT placing 10 euros bets at each hand cursing the whole room.

The only thing that keeps my humanity is my woman, which I met one year ago, maybe she is the only person I truly love.
I managed to hide my addiction to her, maybe just because we live 60km away and see each other only in weekends, but she has started asking questions..why do we dine in 200 euros restaurants one day and the other in a macdonalds, why I sold my car and haven't bought another yet, why do I have 3 pairs of shoes and never buy new clothes, why I refuse to make love (when I lose) and pretend I feel sick..
The idea of losing her scares the $#%^ out of me and yet I can't tell her about my addiction.
This is why I am here at 2:30 am..
I truly want to end this $#%^.

It is not about the money you lose, it is about the opportunities you miss, the #######5 mood conditioning your life, the time passing by while you are stuck. Money are supposed to buy things, but most of all to create opportunities, and a gambler has no opportuinities at all, plus he has to carry the burden of shame, despair and guilt.
I am 33 now and I can see some hair graying on my temples, I see my friends married, hard working with kids while I still play the tormented adolescent, I haven't built anything and I have no trust from my family, I could have bought a couple big houses with the money I have wasted, but I don't regret it.
I do regret all $#%^ I had to swallow, the shame, the loneliness, the guilt, the distrust, the people telling me how stupid I have been, the people I let down and most of all the wrong choices I was forced to make.
But I still want to fight and quit this addiction, even if it's hard, even if nothing will give me back the precious time I have wasted or will erase the pain I have been trough.

Now, you are 23 and you seem a well-spoken and aware bloke, you made a big mistake and you will remember it for a long time, but you can choose to make it a one time incident or the first of a long series.
Leave this thing behind you, seek help (GA, therapist, family, friends), never gamble 1 penny again, take time to get over this episode and live your life, you're just 23... a bit more than a kid.
Consider that you could not just lose money but you could lose what life has to offer you in terms of happiness and serenity. I don't believe in luck anymore so I don't wish you good luck, I want to believe in effort, awareness and sacrifice. Since every gambler I have known is a loser. I wish you a winning, aware life, gambling free.

Take care of yourself

Powerful post there Vitriol, and welcome here.

You sound like you do really regret a lot of those things you said happened. Regret seems to me one of the hardest elements. Personally, I think we have to practice self-forgiveness too, in order to recover better. Hope you can also do that.

Thank you betterchange!

In the past I used to blame the others and/or my misfortune, I blamed my family, the bad environiment I grew up in, some girl who drove me crazy, the weather etc.. then I realized they were all perfect excuses to gamble and scapegoats to maintain my addiction, it was and it is me.
Yes, it's true, I regret a lot of things, but I'm optimist, I think I'll start to forgive myself the day I'm 10 ten years sober..

Hey guys, been a while since I've posted and I've seen a few people asking for updates so I thought I'd check in.

Almost 3 months on and I haven't placed a single bet since that horrendous journey, nor have I had any sort of real temptation to do so.... It's strange, you have this paradox because on one level I felt sort of cleansed, like I was at the beginning of something new with a warped sense of optimism, feeling like I'd escaped that mental prison that is a gambling addiction, although it was such a huge price to pay. I actually look back at those 48 hours and can't work out for the life of me how I felt so comfortable placing such large bets, which makes me realise just how powerful and desctructive addiction can be... I was essentially brainwashed in a state of anxiety.


Whilst the desire to gamble has been completely nullified (I'm actually at the point of enjoying watching sport again without thinking about the odds), the optimism has started to wear thin though after realising after a few weeks that nothing in my life had really changed for the better, only my bank balance. It's affected me in different ways... obviously my self-esteem has taken a bit of a whack. And I absolutely hate thinking about money. I'm doing everything on the cheap at the moment, I'm still un-employed and looking for a new job whilst living at home (and finishing my course I'm studying). So I know I'm very lucky in the sense I have somewhere to live and re-build everything, and my parents kind enough to not want any rent money in return at the moment.

What's really fustrated me recently though is how bookmakers have the cheek to promote ''responsible gambling''. The bookmaker I was using would frequently lower my max betting limits during winning streaks, but when they see money flooding out of my account they don't seem to bat an eyelid. I'd been on a 48 hour session with probably less than 45 minutes between each seperate bet I'd placed, which would indicate I probably hadn't slept and was losing control. They absolutely 100% know the traits of gambling addiction yet their sophisticated measures to enforce ''respsonsible gambling'' seem to fall by the way side (They even sent me a message on the Monday morning - in the middle of the session - asking how my weekend been and advertising enhanced odds?!) It's like someone with a drinking problem walking into a shop s*$tfaced and asking for 2 bottles of Jack Daneils - only for the shop assistant to tempt them into buying 3 and offer a buy-one-get-one-free on a 6x of a Cider too! Of course they wouldn't, the shop have the authority to not serve them, and they wouldn't.

Then you have the advertising, this one a particular example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNqYjiA1E6w

How on earth is that allowed to be broadcast? I really think this needs adressing. The Government are pretty tough on Cigarrettes and Alcohol, yet seem oblivious to gambling, even though it's arguably more destructive and offers no positivity to society.

Promise I don't want to sound bitter, I honestly just wonder how people high up in these companies actually sleep at night. Knowing the only way they will *really* profit on big sums will come at a price of some addict ruining theirs and other peoples lives.

I've just finished reading a book about Anthony Kiedis (lead singer from Red Hot Chili Peppers), who has been battling a heroin addiction his entire life. It's an insane read, and you can see so many parrarells between drug/gambling addiction. He talks about the different steps he now takes to make sure he stays sober this time (almost 8 years now), and one of them was to talk to and help other people in rehab, showing compassion, so I'll try and post as much as I can on here from now on.

I've read every post on here and appreciate everyons sincerity, @Vitriol although your story sounds like an absolute journey, and I know that must've taken guts to post. Take comfort in the fact that their are people who can relate to your situation and can learn from it as well (myself included). I'm sure you've heard it before but knowing there is a problem is key to recovering.

That was a little long-winded, but hopefully that helps, will stick around on here more in the future.

ps I'm also going to therapy which has been a source of comfort.

Glad to hear you're getting back some positives in this notsurewhattodo

I agree totally about that ad, horrible - I looked them up a while ago because of the style of their ads, and they look a horrible company. There seem so many, they are like bacteria - and I really don't know how all the bookie companies survive without eating one another.

Keep up the posting, it helps you to keep thinking positively in your writing on here, even if it's just to rant about stuff at times.

.