Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

by **NewSunRising** » Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:11 am

movingon2014 wrote:Your only 23, and in a space of 48 hours you have discovered what it took some of us years or even decades to understand. You cannot win at this game. It wont just rob you of your money, there is no end to what it can do. It's a progressive disease and will take everything from you.

As difficult as it is to believe , there is one positive thing you have gained from your experience and it is precisely what Movingon has stated here .

Nobody here is brushing off the enormity of what happened to you just because you are young but the truth is this : It is far , far better to realize NOW that you have a destructive compulsion to gamble .

Some of us have spent years - decades ! - denying that we have a gambling addiction . Some of us face our retirement years in practical poverty with no resources or security to fall back on once we are no longer able to work .

Experiencing the devastation that gambling addiction causes may be a hard , painful thing to go through but it may very well have saved your life and your future . Get the help you need to fight this thing , by any means possible .

You are welcome to post here often for support - we have all been where you are . We are all fighting the same battle .

I wish you well .

Always going to be the what if moments. That will kill you in gambling and in life. It will always happen. No matter which game, it will always torment you with losing from the impossible. Lack of sleep, chasing will always happen too. I've did what you have did bet on silly games. That's what gambling does. Desperation and even if it seems silly you'll do it because you want to hey out of hell.

You can't get that money back. It will destroy you if you let it. It's going to hurt and can hurt for years please rebuild your life. I've been where you have been, lost that amount etc. God bless you. The best thing you can do, is look after yourself and your family. In 5 years, of you stay away from gambling, you will have your life back. You will be free.

You will never be free in gambling.

May god give you strength.

by **gamblingsucks** » Sun Jun 12, 2016 6:32 am

uskat wrote:
i hear your shock, the pain, the shame. it is awful. we get it. you are writing and hearing from people who GET IT.

you are not stupid. you are an addict.

^ So good.

In fact, ironically, gamblers are more likely to have above-average IQs.

Yep, I'm another who has also been there. Tens of thousands gone in a single afternoon on ridiculous crap, hundreds of thousands overall. Not that long of a time frame for me either. You are not alone. This is what gambling is, this is where gambling always leads. Some people faster, some slower.

The high limits don't surprise me; the industry is predatory and there are enough bookies out there who are willing to accept huge bets, even more so if they see wild betting patterns. They know it's only a matter of time.

Take care. You are not alone.

by **housealwayswins** » Sun Jun 12, 2016 5:01 pm

Thought id check in with you. Once again, you are not dumb for doing what you are doing.you are a gambling addict and that takes over no matter who you are, how much money you have, or how successful or smart you are. Chemicals in the brain change when gambling. It literally is like talking drugs. Your brain waves change, you lose control.

No question what has happened to you sucks and has changed your life, but you can change your life once more for the good IN TIME. Now for the next year, at least, it's going to be tough. You will have mood swings, spells of depression which will be deeper than others ( you'll be depressed in general ) you will feel crazy, angry, sad, depleted etc. THAT IS NORMAL. I repeat, THAT IS NORMAL. No one loses that amount and will be fine with it. People get pissed about losing 100 bucks, 500 bucks etc. Do that amount which you, I and many others have lost even in that small time frame will ######6 hurt big time.

Thoughts and feelings and lead to actions and vice versa. Be careful how much you dwell and think ( although it's seems impossible not too ) because that, and what you tell yourself, can lead to more misery and negative actions. For the time being, all you can do is minimize the damage and lessen the blow. Do normal things and routine is important. Exercise saved my life, no matter how $#%^ you feel set a day aside and start. Even if it's 3 times a week, do it. The key is small steps. Small steps lead to big ones. You won't feel or get better overnight, but gradually you get better. How do you do it? Again, small steps. Even when you say ###$ this $#%^ is a waste of time and my life is ###$, remember, small steps and in time you will get better.

Ultimately are you going to let this make you or break you? That is in your control. For now, you are broken. But you can and will heal. You have to find it within yourself to do it.

And again, it's not your fault and you had no chance. No matter what bet you placed or when. Gambling addiction creates obsession in the brain like ocd and you have to bet. The question is when will the bomb go off. Not if. Could have happened in 3 years from now and you were a millionaire. You'd lose it all. And no, you were never going to goon holiday with that money or bank it or start a music business. Even if you did, you'd lose it all. Trust me on that.

In gambling, you will never make a profit. No one ever keeps their fortune. It's borrowed money temporarily before you give it all back and more. And no, you can't get back into it, make cash and stop at the right time. It will take over each and every time.

by **GamblingStories** » Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:15 pm

not_surewhattodo1 wrote:Hey guys, appreciate all the help/comments.... feeling better somewhat this evening, trying not to think of money like you've suggested. As a family we've just been through my Sister having Cancer recently, so although this money issue will likely be something I'll take to the grave with me, I have to be grateful and look at life positively. At the end of the day the only person that will be affected by this is me so I can live with that.

Just want to reply to you @gamblingstories:

Unfortunately they suggested today that I close my account: which I have done. so there's no way of looking back through my account history/previous bets.

The largest bet I placed throughout the final 'binge' though of my £100,000 was around £39,500 on a tennis player I'd never even heard of but was 1 break down in the first set and still 1/2 odds on to win: she lost in 2 sets (please don't ask; it sounds absolutely moronic to think I'd have thought that's a good idea but at the time I was mentally gone). I also had £34,000 on Sussex to beat Essex and finished off with a few bets on Basketball points over/under. Panic had set over and I just wanted to re-coup losses ASAP so I could forget about it, hoping that a big win would change everything I suppose... I was just in meltdown.

This was about 8 hours or so after i'd lost my entire original £75,000 'winnings' I'd made previously.

I spoke with the bookmaker today and although the operations team seemed desperate to help me in regards to a refund of sorts, apparently senior management dismissed it because I'd made several 'large' bets in the last few months that got me to £75k in the first place.

I only realised this evening that my Dad however had an hour long chat with a lady at NatWest (my bank) and went through everything that's happened. Firstly (and rightly so) she wanted to stop me having access to all my acounts which is absolutely fine, money can come in but it will be me going through my parents to get it. Next question she asked: was this fraud? - No. But she really wanted me to get in touch with a certain division at the company and query how this could be allowed to happen. Wouldn't the bank have flagged up such large deposits consecutively over such a short period of time and stop transactions? They have a duty of care I suppose.. I don't really know.

I mean from June-December of last year my largest deposit would have been around £100-200, with the deposits usually being somewhere between £30-75 each time. I think throughout February the bets were definitely going up as I was earning a bit more through work (I was still losing), but after I accumulated the first £4k I just carried on going and upping bets until I got to £75,000. I'm not sure if that helps anything but just thought I'd let you know how quickly things spiralled both up/down.

The absolutely last thing I'd want is being on the News in any way, the embarresment/guilt/shame from all my friends/extended family/colleagues finding out would be horrible. If there was chance to gain some money back however from any avenue I'd obviously like to follow it up (although I don't want to seem like a cry-baby). I can accept the fact that I made some horrificly awful and rash decisions over a short space of time whilst I was in an absolutely meltdown.

I'll see what NatWest say, but if ''Bookmaker in question'' have refused to do anything I'm not sure what I can do...

I've only told a few people so far and everyone has had the 'shocked' reaction. I try to tell myself it happens to people but in actuality I can't imagine many other people losing so much, especially when I'm young and seriously couldn't afford to .

I'm a top top top top idiot, but I'm determined for it to not ruin my life.. I should be grateful I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge.

The banks and the gambling industry go hand in hand.
If you told Natwest there is no fraud then there is nothing to "see what they will say".

If you claimed the transactions were fraudulent (some people did it, blaming another person for depositing and with these large amounts it could have 'worked') - then you might have received them back from the bank ... but if you took responsibility (which is the 'honest' thing to do) then it is what it is.

If I were you I would try to be more aggressive towards that bookmaker, but I understand your position ... please read the other posts here, many of them contain lots of useful info.

by **not_surewhattodo1** » Mon Jun 13, 2016 9:14 am

Really appreciate people's feedback, definitely helps. Knowing that people have suffered the same way and sharing their stories will only make things easier.

More than anything I just feel angry at the moment... I'd gone almost a week after 2 consecutive losses without placing a bet, and had no desire too. One lapse in concentration, pure greed and stupidity and I've wound up here. It shouldn't be like this, I should be enjoying the fact I'd set myself up. I'm not angry at the bookies, they had to pay out the same way originally as I've had too now.... I'm just SO angry and upset with myself, having absolutely no self-discipline when I was effectively one day away from putting up daily deposit limits and potentially closing my account. There was a moment where I was £3k down and thought ''DON'T DO IT, this could be the day that the dreaded happens'', but my greed wanted it back ( from £70,000 to £67,000 - any normal human being would stick ) .... I just want to re-wind time.

Every time I'd finish gambling during the run I'd think 'play with fire too often and you'll get burned'. I've been in similar situations in the past where I've got up 3/4k and eventually blown it one session. I knew this would happen and would tell myself that. I was getting better at accepting losses and not chasing.

I'm going through pretty wild mood swings at the moment, sometimes I'll think to myself that this is a life lesson I can come back from and be stronger.... Other times I just feel so angry and dissapointed, thinking what really SHOULD have been. I've effectively thrown away a chance to really change my life in the long term - knowingly. Now I'm so far behind it's ridiculous, grinding in an industry that's almost impossible.

I just don't even want to think about money, jobs, career right now. The thought of trying to build up my savings again + making a career just kicks even more.

People don't have to reply to this if they don't want, just thought I'd share my current feelings, day by day it actually seems to get harder rather than easier

. I hate sounding like I'm moaning and I'm sure a lot of people will think 'there's nothing you can do now just move forward', but I just don't see how that's possible..

by **GamblingStories** » Mon Jun 13, 2016 10:58 am

not_surewhattodo1 wrote:I'm not angry at the bookies, they had to pay out the same way originally as I've had too now.... I'm just SO angry and upset with myself, having absolutely no self-discipline when I was effectively one day away from putting up daily deposit limits and potentially closing my account.

So you're upset on yourself but not upset on the company that caused you all this misery? They took away from you a very large amount of £200,000 - and you're not upset on them ... you know what, let's leave the part of being upset or angry for later - but there is one thing you must understand.

The thoughts that are running through your head, the "WHAT IF" is part of the drugs inside your brain, gambling does inject drugs into your brain, and part of those drugs is to run the "WHAT IF" scenario in your mind, constantly.

So let me burst your bubble:
Even if you had kept this money and permanently closed (self-excluded) the account you would have been able to gamble elsewhere, and even if you tell yourself you would have never gone elsewhere or used the money to buy real estate and don't have access to it - you would have mortgaged the real estate or took a loan against it or I don't know what - a gambler would always find a way to gamble if he really wants to ...

What happened to you should deter you from ever gambling again, yet I'm surprised to hear from what you describe how the gambling drugs are still affecting you... you need to realize and understand this is not your fault - you were trapped in a system that is designed to make you do what you did ... it's like drinking tons of alcohol in a night club and then wake up in the morning with a stranger - the alcohol does what it does, the gambling drugs do the same.

You should be angry on the gambling establishment that caused you pain, and if you can't then I don't believe you have any hypothetical chance to even file a lawsuit against them. It's your choice, I just told you I would have tried a much more aggressive approach.

not_surewhattodo1 wrote:Every time I'd finish gambling during the run I'd think 'play with fire too often and you'll get burned'. I've been in similar situations in the past where I've got up 3/4k and eventually blown it one session. I knew this would happen and would tell myself that. I was getting better at accepting losses and not chasing.

That's another illusion from all the gambling drugs in your mind - again let me burst your bubble:
There is no such thing as "getting better at accepting losses" - I can tell you I've never hit rock bottom in my life, never lost what people would call "too much" and yet look at this:

gambling-addiction/topic177387.html

Did I plan or expect to lose $13,000 in a day? No ...
And I "won" these losses back only to lose them again, and then won part of it back and decided to terminate my Skrill account for good. Will it help me end my relationship with gambling? I hope so, it is truly a big milestone in life, at least for me.

For me gambling was destructive not only financially but personally as well, it does ruin yourself and could damage and hurt your family, it does make you forget about other important things in life.

not_surewhattodo1 wrote:I'm going through pretty wild mood swings at the moment, sometimes I'll think to myself that this is a life lesson I can come back from and be stronger.... Other times I just feel so angry and dissapointed, thinking what really SHOULD have been. I've effectively thrown away a chance to really change my life in the long term - knowingly. Now I'm so far behind it's ridiculous, grinding in an industry that's almost impossible.

I just don't even want to think about money, jobs, career right now. The thought of trying to build up my savings again + making a career just kicks even more.

People don't have to reply to this if they don't want, just thought I'd share my current feelings, day by day it actually seems to get harder rather than easier . I hate sounding like I'm moaning and I'm sure a lot of people will think 'there's nothing you can do now just move forward', but I just don't see how that's possible..

The fact you're trying to live without gambling means you're trying to take the drugs away from your mind and brain, and this can cause you mood swings, and other feelings which people in this forum know better than me.

I can only suggest you 2 things - one is to plan a way to live your life without it by putting barriers and good barriers that will stop you from ever gambling again and secondly - it's up to you to try and sue the bookmaker for what happened ... I think there was a lack of care there by allowing you to bet a lot ... again, it might not be a winning case, but it's the only realistic way to maybe get something back ... if you choose to try it don't put all your hopes there - gotta live your life normally and take care of this as something additional in your life.

by **Flanksy** » Mon Jun 13, 2016 12:31 pm

It seems that you feel like that you can't really relate to others on this forum yet, because your situation is different and that is true. Everyone experiences their Gambling Addiction differently, but we all have 1 thing in common, it ruins our lives and we want to get rid of it.

Your addiction revealed itself during a moment were you had acces to a lot of money. You lost it all and quickly realized that you have a problem, remember this feeling, because the next time you get urges it will save you from the same trap.

The positives about this story is that the addiction never affected different parts of your live. Most of us have been addicted for a number of years before we really saw what we were doing and how it destroyed us. We have lost friends, education and not to mention the psychical toll all the stress has on the human body. I was exposed to this stress for years and it turned me from a pretty social guy in to a anxious wreck that was living paycheck to paycheck, you don't want that do you?

You lost your money in a snap of the fingers, but it could have saved you from years of stress and eventually losing it way more gradually, were you didn't even notice that you had a problem. Think about that scenario next time you think about all the money you lost. You always had some kind of chemical imbalance in your brain that made you susceptible to gambling addiction, it turned out to strike you at this time and it has exposed it self, were for others it can stay in disguise for years without the addict even knowing that he is addicted, while gambling away his life.

For now you just have to deal with the facts and reevaluate your future. It will take time to deal with this burden, but knowing that you could have gambled it all away in the future, because you didn't realize you were addicted yet, could somehow relieve the pain for you I hope.

not_surewhattodo1 wrote:People don't have to reply to this if they don't want, just thought I'd share my current feelings, day by day it actually seems to get harder rather than easier . I hate sounding like I'm moaning and I'm sure a lot of people will think 'there's nothing you can do now just move forward', but I just don't see how that's possible..

Please keep doing this, it will always act as a diary for your future self. In my topic I also posted a lot while I was still a fully blown addict, without feeling the need to stop yet. Despite that I kept posting about how the gambling made me feel and how it turned out to be a endless battle with us having nothing left at the end. A month ago I became more aware of the trap that I was in and just a week ago something in my mind snapped and the urges are fading really quickly as a result. Only by reading back my old posts were I feel like that it was a different me, had I realized that I was only fooling myself with gambling and that it served no purpose in life and didn't bring me any fulfillment.

I hope you can also make a diary of this topic and learn what gambling truly does to your thinking.

Take care not_surewhattodo1, you will overcome this addiction.

by **GamblingStories** » Mon Jun 13, 2016 7:55 pm

Not sure what to do,

I was reading my last reply to you - apologies if I was a little bit harsh ....

I think it's very hard to lose so much money in such a way - have you looked into a potential lawsuit here?

And please do read what the others say not only in your topic but in other topics as well. It's all for your own good.

by **John-45** » Tue Jun 14, 2016 1:43 am

Hi not_surewhattodo1
I agree with all previous replys about getting professional help, and here what I’d like to add: Ruminating about losses and how bad you are, won’t get you anywhere. Face hard facts: no gambling, no “re-coup losses ASAP so I could forget about it”. Action, that what can get you back on track. Recognize, it’s a luxury to have supporting family. Use it to start a Music Events business as you planned. It’s OK that managing money now will go through your dad. When business will grow and accounts with it, rearrange. Concentrate on this job; put all your energy into it. And report on your progress.

Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Re: Lost nearly £200k in 48 hours

Who is online