Co-hosted?

Do u ever find you are often co-hosted? or u feel like u are not really alone in ur body?
Like...one ( or "you") is doing the adult stuff while a little is out at the same time?

All the time. I probably share 60% of my waking hours alongside one of the others. Its usually Jay or Lyle. We are multi-taskers, usually watching a movie and writing, or drawing, or doing various other tasks simultaneously.

Hey tinypieces. Yeah we're like that a lot. Me (Lin) and Little are out together sometimes. She likes to watch (or more, listen to) disney movies while I'm writing, doing work or doing stuff online. We're multitaskers like chibixal. Me and Little communicate a lot both when we're out together, when one of us is out and also when we're both inside. She doesn't like being out if I'm not, at least, in the background - so sometimes she gets to be out with me alongside too. I think that's pretty normal in people's systems but I dunno For what it's worth Core (Nin) doesn't notice for the most part but we do co-host or what I should call it - I think Tylas called it Watcher someplace. It's like just watching what happens to keep tab. I do that a lot to protect and check the situation. Anyways I'm rambling sorry I'm not up on all the terms so hopefully I didn't say anything too stupid and answered what you wanted to know hah

- Lin

Yes, it's called co-presence or co-conscious.

I try and figure out who is in executive control and who is watching often. I call these controller and watcher.

More on what I have been working on.
http://dx-dissociative-identity-disorde ... -host.html

http://dx-dissociative-identity-disorde ... ation.html

We have co-consciousness with blending, where both alters get kind of mooshed together, though with their own strain of personality still there. Accents, movements, body posture, all are right in the middle of the two, which results in some outlandishness when someone big blends with a little, particularly baby Adam.

We have co-presence, which I guess I would describe as co-consciousness without blending, where two alters are in the body at the same time. Body movements are generated by one or the other alter but both have executive control of the body. If one alter reaches for something and the other one doesn't want to, there can be a struggle where the arm reaches out but gets stuck in indecision, as if the person who isn't reaching is thinking, wait, what am I doing, I don't need to reach for anything. It's unsettling a bit but we're used to it. You may or may not know that there's anyone alongside you at the same time until they try to do something.

A non-little can always tell when there's a little alongside them though. To all of us, the littles feel "ticklish" and make us laugh. Maybe it's the cuteness, innocence, youthful exhuberance factor that we can feel in the body but isn't normal for us. Because Quato was so grumpy and cynical the other day, we made him agree to read aloud the book Little John Little to Little John, who remembers that book as a kid. It closely parallels his experience, being tiny and ignored, with a happy ending of him living outside with little animals, safely away from his family. The story seemed to be written just for him! But Quato hasn't been able to finish because Little John is so excited to be read to, he's right out front with him and Quato can't stop laughing.

John and Jonathan are often very close, one usually out front but the other close by. There is the experience sometimes that even though just one has executive control, the two of us are in effect co-hosting for that period of time.We would do it more, but John's bad habits tend to seep into anyone else, so John (me) remains a bit toxic to the others.

Outside, we never let a little out without one or more of us monitoring closely. It's too dangerous and they might feel scared. But indoors we want to be back far enough that we don't smother their self expression.

I keep wondering what this blending is. I am not sure if I do it or not. I don't think I do yet, but my LC is trying to get me to flow easier from one state to another. So far we are like turning on and off a light switch.

JJ - may I ask you a question -- if you consider co-presence to be when two alters are in charge of the body and the arm can get stuck with indecision... what do you call it when one alter is out front and another is behind, watching, and listening?

Hey, bourbon. Co-present to me means both being out in the body together and I may be talking about one aspect of that: co-present, both in active executive control. Co-present would also seem to mean both present, only one in executive control. But those are distinct states, so there should really be two terms. Since present as a word suggest being there but not doing anything in particular, perhaps co-present should be used for someone who is there but not in control.

My system tends to talk about whether someone is out/in the body, or not. If they're not, they can be very nearby and influencing who's out, watching from inside, not involved or paying much attention, or further back.

Hosting to me means something happening over a period of time, often long, but I suppose it could be used for an event, as in "I hosted for him this afternoon because he was too triggered." Co-host could mean two present at the same time and both in executive control. Host as a noun feels more stable: the person out most of the time. Maybe not so for the verb co-hosting. I see TinyPieces's original thread post seems to have meant something not so permanent but situational.

Dang it, why don't we have an authorized DID dictionary, it would be useful.

It's all shifted in my system. There's no inside (like a basement or another floor) to disappear into so we're all like in a one-room hotel lobby, one (maybe two) alters just outside the door (= in executive control), maybe another just inside with the door open, some further from the door almost out of ear range. They can all look out any time they want to, just not more than a handful at once.

Tylas, blending for us means alters in the body at the same time with overlap and stickiness. Example: Quato was in the body and Jack wanted to take over. Quato hadn't left yet so both found themselves in executive control but stuck together, totally by accident. They couldn't switch out or change the situation and trying gave them a DID headache. They could both think and talk more or less independently but even they were a little mixed up about who said what. Certain traits, like accent, body movements, posture, attitude, and some emotions were precisely halfway between the two. So on a scale of wanting to cause trouble from 1-10, 10 being chaos, Jack is a 3 while Quato is a 9. Together their desire to cause trouble was a 6, maybe setting off bottle rockets.

We've had at least seven unique blends. The physical sensation of blending is that your bodies are pressed together whether you like it or not. Frankly I fear some combinations. If conventional Jonathan ever blends with iconoclast Quato, we may just implode like a black hole.

Category Triggers

I am still confused as to what categories I fit into and I do like to understand this.

There is such a fine line between some of this, but it's worth figuring out. Like all things if we all use the same definitions, it's easier for all, as well as for our ultimate understanding and yes I know all systems are different and some of you don't like categories. I love categories though and MUST have things organized before I can understand them and work on fixing them.

I would like to find some solid definitions from someone the majority of people would consider an expert - someone that has worked successfully with multitudes of those with DID and who writes about it and that writing is accepted by other experts. There are definitions on this site, but as my LC always tells me, they need a reference so I can verify.
Such as is done here:
https://sites.google.com/site/phoenixaloft/glossary

I feel uneasy accepting anything without such verification. We each interpret what is going on with us, best we can. That is not the same as someone who is an expert and who has dealt with hundreds of DID patients doing it.

That said, these appear to be good definitions at first glance. Would you change anything on them? Does anyone know were they are referenced from? Inquiring minds want to know.


Co-Consciousness/Co-Awareness - when two or more persons are aware of what each other they are doing (and often feeling/thinking, etc).

Co-Hosting - when more than one person is out at once.

Co-Present/Co-Presence - when two or more persons are present, but not really aware of each other, or, not able to communicate with each other.

Blending - ?


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dissociative-identity/topic66890.html

sometimes parts have flashbacks and I dont.. I am cocon and they feel it and take all the horror, but I dont.