Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation Workbook

Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation
http://www.amazon.com/dp/039370646X/?tag=bfftlbr-20

I read chapter 1 and 2 last night. I will post more on that later today. The book begins with grounding and then goes on to explain what dissociation is.

Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation
This book is actually set up to be used to do group therapy, but it would be nice to have an actual therapist directing it, but until one shows up and volunteers, we are on our own.

Section I pgs 1-12
Learning to be present - I have found that this is an ongoing process that can be worked on throughout therapy. I keep learning more and more skills. How about the rest of you. Do you think you can be grounded when you want to be?

The text goes on to explain some terms:

My summary of those terms:
Personality: " Our lasting way of thinking, feeling, acting and perceiving. Personality is not a thing. The normal personality has many parts, just like those with DID, but in the normal personality the transactions between response patters are smooth.

Sense of Self: Normal minds have a "sense of self" that is PART of their personality so no matter what state is most in control, all those states share the same sense of self. In DID each alter has its own sense of self and these selves are not experienced as belong to one person.

Integration - The opposite of dissociation. This is the "organization of all the different aspects of the personality (including our sense of self) into a unified whole that function in a cohesive manner.

Pathological Dissociation is "a major failure of integration that interferes with and changes our sense of self and our personality. " Early childhood trauma inhibits our natural ability to integrate "our experiences into a coherent and whole life narrative."

Dissociative parts of the personality - These are our alters if we have DID, or dissociated states if we have DDNOS-1 or Complex PTSD. "It is as if there are not enough links or mental connections between one sense of self and other, between one set of responses and another."

Origins of Chronic Dissociation - If a child experiences a trauma events which they cannot integrate fully (which is common without adequate emotional support from a parent) then the person will dissociate so that they can continue with life as "normal." This trauma memory is stuck though! These are the flashbacks, dreams and such that you now experience as an adult. This will continue until you can finally process those memories.

Dissociative Disorders: The major complex dissociative disorders are due to "disruption in the integration of the child's personality and sense of self."



Assignment: Reflect on all this. Thoughts? Arguments? Etc?

[quote="tylas"]
Section I pgs 1-12
Learning to be present - I have found that this is an ongoing process that can be worked on throughout therapy. I keep learning more and more skills. How about the rest of you. Do you think you can be grounded when you want to be?


I'm trying very hard to be in the here and now though not in control as much as I want to be.

Sometimes I have this weird alien feeling like I was dropped on the planet as a new person with a blurry or fuzzy past. In general I know who I am and where I've been but I only know the chapter headings, not the details...

And the more I read about this and process this, the dizzier I feel. Is vertigo part of my ungrounded problem?


[b]Sense of Self: Normal minds have a "sense of self" that is PART of their personality so no matter what state is most in control, all those states share the same sense of self. In DID each alter has its own sense of self and these selves are not experienced as belong to one person.

This is super fuzzy to me right now. My sense of self is fractured though my alters/parts are not as distinct as some of you on here, I mean I don't even have names or anything - I just have a vague idea of who they are and my sense of self seems to be the addition of all these parts which isn't very coherent at all.


Journalgirl - host/observer?

tylas wrote:Assignment: Reflect on all this. Thoughts? Arguments? Etc?

Oy...It hits home big time. I feel yucky and sad. To think that my child self endured these things makes me feel awful as an adult. Anyways...

tylas wrote:My summary of those terms:
Personality: " Our lasting way of thinking, feeling, acting and perceiving. Personality is not a thing. The normal personality has many parts, just like those with DID, but in the normal personality the transactions between response patters are smooth.

That really blows my mind that people without DID can function without dissociating. Thinking about that makes me hazy, haha. How would someone without DID feel if they learned someone they loved had died? I have moments of sadness coupled with feeling super foggy and have periods of lost time...Would someone without DID just feel the sadness? Maybe more sadness than I know how to feel?

tylas wrote:Integration - The opposite of dissociation. This is the "organization of all the different aspects of the personality (including our sense of self) into a unified whole that function in a cohesive manner.

For some reason, I find this concept unnatural. To think that angry/protective parts could be present with the vulnerable child parts is too much to handle. Perhaps people without DID do not have personality parts that are children??? Or do I just have no concept of what life without DID is?

tylas wrote:Pathological Dissociation is "a major failure of integration that interferes with and changes our sense of self and our personality. " Early childhood trauma inhibits our natural ability to integrate "our experiences into a coherent and whole life narrative."

I agree. The word "pathological" feels so "yucky". It all really hits home. I suppose it is the reason everything from birth to age 13 feels like a blur. Even 13-18 is blurry. It's almost like life for me began at age 18...What does this mean? Was another part more present than me during these times???

My summary of those terms:
Personality: " Our lasting way of thinking, feeling, acting and perceiving. Personality is not a thing. The normal personality has many parts, just like those with DID, but in the normal personality the transactions between response patters are smooth.


The question is always: personality versus personality parts. Yes, everyone are supposed to have only ONE personality that consists of several parts, but I seem to disagree. If a person thinks, feels, acts and perceives in a different way, then that person is "different". If you change your behavior in a radical way, you become different. According to my black and white thinking a person is not allowed to change. At all. They need to remain constant. They have to contain very few dimensions.



Sense of Self: Normal minds have a "sense of self" that is PART of their personality so no matter what state is most in control, all those states share the same sense of self. In DID each alter has its own sense of self and these selves are not experienced as belong to one person.


In this case I'd see a person as a materialistic object, the physical part. If that object contains several different sides or personalities, they are still the same person. It doesn't matter how you feel, it's all about who you are in the reality. There should be a sense of self that knows who this physical part is.



Integration - The opposite of dissociation. This is the "organization of all the different aspects of the personality (including our sense of self) into a unified whole that function in a cohesive manner.


No transmissions between switches, and controlled behavior. To feel integrated and whole as a person? I'm not sure if I can understand that concept. Either I am integrated at this moment, and thus I cannot understand what dissociated personality means. Or I am dissociated in my personality, and thus I cannot understand what integrated means. You cannot understand something you don't know about or have never experienced.


Pathological Dissociation is "a major failure of integration that interferes with and changes our sense of self and our personality. " Early childhood trauma inhibits our natural ability to integrate "our experiences into a coherent and whole life narrative."


As far as I know, trauma causes biological damage. Those functions and mechanisms that control the cognition and integration have to be controlled by biology. Trauma should simply be biological damage that causes these dysfunctions. It's not completely sure how the psychology works in this area, so I'd better not speculate too much.



Dissociative parts of the personality - These are our alters if we have DID, or dissociated states if we have DDNOS-1 or Complex PTSD. "It is as if there are not enough links or mental connections between one sense of self and other, between one set of responses and another."


That is basically how it seems to work. The brain activity changes when you switch tasks or experience something different. The connections in these pathways or neural networks are dysfunctional in these dissociative disorders, and it seems to lead to cognitive problems when you switch between states. Dissociated states are in my opinion completely normal and every person has these. The difference is that "normal" people don't experience dissociation when they switch. Everyone is simply made of "parts". The co-operation and switching is the main problem in dissociative disorders.



Origins of Chronic Dissociation - If a child experiences a trauma events which they cannot integrate fully (which is common without adequate emotional support from a parent) then the person will dissociate so that they can continue with life as "normal." This trauma memory is stuck though! These are the flashbacks, dreams and such that you now experience as an adult. This will continue until you can finally process those memories.



(You may want to emphasize that the emotional support doesn't have to be from a parent. Not all parents are particularly involved in their children's lives, so they cannot really be blamed for not giving support.) When a child faces something problematic, there will be a problem that needs to be solved. Are children good at solving these problems in a rational way? Probably not. They will somehow figure out the solution, but they won't understand how to apply it to life in general. They keep the behavior or personality state they created for that particular situation, but they don't understand that it needs to be included in other situations too. So, their lives become fragmented because they think they have to change who they are depending on what kind of situations they are facing.

When you lose fear or discomfort, then your central nervous system is more in balance. This prevents triggering stress reactions that cause dissociation. So, yes, trauma processing may help in reducing dissociation, but you have to consider that it won't help unless your CNS is functional.

Dissociative Disorders: The major complex dissociative disorders are due to "disruption in the integration of the child's personality and sense of self."


I'd rather say: "It's a biological disorder that causes disruption in the integration of the child's personality and sense of self.

Very interesting. Thank you for posting this.

How about the rest of you. Do you think you can be grounded when you want to be?

Definitely not. For many things, yes - but for certain triggers, absolutely not. But then again, we also choose to switch to someone who can better handle the situation if there's a trigger for someone else or if someone is overwhelmed, so that life can go on on the outside, while someone is instead having the emotions inside. For smaller triggers, this works very well as a coping mechanism (we're not looking to integrate, anyway). For bigger ones, this doesn't work all that well.

For some reason, I find this concept unnatural. To think that angry/protective parts could be present with the vulnerable child parts is too much to handle. Perhaps people without DID do not have personality parts that are children??? Or do I just have no concept of what life without DID is?

I feel the same way. It seems completely unnatural to us and we have no concept of what life is without DID.

If a child experiences a trauma events which they cannot integrate fully (which is common without adequate emotional support from a parent) then the person will dissociate so that they can continue with life as "normal." This trauma memory is stuck though! These are the flashbacks, dreams and such that you now experience as an adult. This will continue until you can finally process those memories.

This quote sums it up pretty well for us: when something terrifically terrible happens to you, i think your brain doesn’t get it, for quite a while. you go on trying to see the world the way it was, even when common sense should tell you that everything has changed forever – ann halam in dr. franklin’s island

Thank you Tylas for this post!

ChristaAngel wrote:According to my black and white thinking a person is not allowed to change. At all. They need to remain constant. They have to contain very few dimensions.

ChristaAngel wrote: You cannot understand something you don't know about or have never experienced.

It is very difficult to understand something that you have never experienced. But we all need to be understood, and we really need to feel understood by our therapists, right? Well, for the most part, they have not experienced what we have, yet they still can understand. It takes a great deal of effort and one must be motivated, but we can understand that which is different from us. "black and white thinking" however can prevent any understanding from ever taking place.

ChristaAngel wrote:Trauma should simply be biological damage that causes these dysfunctions. It's not completely sure how the psychology works in this area, so I'd better not speculate too much.

Trauma and "pathological dissociation" are absolutely biological dysfunctions, with several different structural and neurological differences in the brain. However, the brain has 'plasticity', meaning that it changes with experience. Those who heal from trauma and dissociation have normal brains and brain functioning after treatment.

lifelongthing wrote: How about the rest of you. Do you think you can be grounded when you want to be?


Definitely not. For many things, yes - but for certain triggers, absolutely not. But then again, we also choose to switch to someone who can better handle the situation if there's a trigger for someone else or if someone is overwhelmed, so that life can go on on the outside, while someone is instead having the emotions inside. For smaller triggers, this works very well as a coping mechanism (we're not looking to integrate, anyway). For bigger ones, this doesn't work all that well.

Physical exercises like grounding and mindfulness are a large part of this working with the brain and changing the physiological abnormalities. Even if they don't seem to help in the moment (especially when things are super, super triggering), overtime they work more and more until one finds that dissociation and trauma related symptomatology become less and less. There are no quick and easy answers to a lifetime of experiences.

lifelongthing wrote: For some reason, I find this concept unnatural. To think that angry/protective parts could be present with the vulnerable child parts is too much to handle. Perhaps people without DID do not have personality parts that are children??? Or do I just have no concept of what life without DID is?


I feel the same way. It seems completely unnatural to us and we have no concept of what life is without DID.

Everybody has 'child parts' to them. But they generally aren't frozen in a state of terror and fear. And everybody has 'angry parts' but they generally aren't polarized to be filled with rage, hatred, and violence. As trauma becomes processed and these parts begin to be known, they become less polarized in their particular roles. That is how they begin to work together. Plus, the angry parts are usually just children too. They are usually angry and protective because they are just as scared as the vulnerable parts.

But as we all know, it feels unnatural to be any way other than the way we've been. But, that doesn't mean it isn't possible

Physical exercises like grounding and mindfulness are a large part of this working with the brain and changing the physiological abnormalities. Even if they don't seem to help in the moment (especially when things are super, super triggering), overtime they work more and more until one finds that dissociation and trauma related symptomatology become less and less. There are no quick and easy answers to a lifetime of experiences.

I wrote in a way that was a bit confusing, I apologize. I meant:
For smaller triggers, this works very well as a coping mechanism (we're not looking to integrate, anyway). For bigger ones, this [switching into someone else deliberately who isn't as triggered] doesn't work all that well.

Grounding and mindfulness are wonderful tools for small and big triggers alike and we have taken courses through the mental ward for both

tylas wrote:Learning to be present - I have found that this is an ongoing process that can be worked on throughout therapy. I keep learning more and more skills. How about the rest of you. Do you think you can be grounded when you want to be?

Question: Is it possible for you to briefly describe what "being grounded" is about?



Being present. What does that actually mean? Maybe you could describe it as "not being in a dissociated state"?

In that case you are referring to a physical state? When you are not feeling abnormal neurotransmitter or brain activity, or over-activation of sympathetic nervous system?

I this case it could be really hard to know when you are grounded or dissociated. I presume even normal life is filled with different biological or neurobiological states. Are all of these dissociated states? I don't know. I have no reference markers.

Or do you refer to a state where you are "not feeling as yourself" when you are talking about dissociation? If so, then you must be feeling depersonalization-derealization at the same time, which is in a way a physical state (if I recognize it correctly). However, this is also a difficult state to recognize because the abnormal brain/sympathetic NS activity often leads to this feeling. In a way (almost) everything (in my experience) seems to lead to some abnormal states. That is "normal" for me, so how do I recognize dissociation when the states where I am are constantly changing? Are these states "normal" or are they "dissociated"? I cannot tell because it's "normal" (i.e. how it has always been).

Or do you refer to a state where you are "not yourself" but you lack any physical symptoms when you are talking about dissociation? If so, then it will be impossible to tell if you are dissociated or not? Maybe this argument shouldn't be presented because it may be impossible to dissociated in this way, or is it? I don't know, but sometimes I feel like I'm perfectly myself, and then later I realize that I wasn't. Am I dissociated when this happens? Don't think so. I feel more "sober" than before. But I also felt "sober" in that state before, so what is different? I don't know.

So...

Being grounded is to get away from this "dissociated" state? But into what?

Being grounded is being present? Then, what is being present? I'd say it would be "not being away". I have a tendency to disappear from the reality into a world of "nothingness" (if that even exists). Just my thoughts, images or vivid memories. Forgetting where I am or what I'm doing, or even barely perceiving the world. So...is being "grounded" to avoid being in that state I'm referring to here?

Or is being present to perceive the world how it is? To be aware of the reality and what happens around you? To be aware of how the world keeps existing or life goes on?....Yes, sometimes I happen to be in this state, but no idea how to get there.

Or does the concept of being "grounded" include all that I mentioned (and some other concepts I didn't mention)?

How to be grounded? I have no idea. I don't even know what I'm looking for, so how do I know when I find it?
I didn't even know it was possible to change the state where you are.

Keep up the work everyone. I will add the next section to the book soon. Feel free to discuss your answers with each other. Talking things out usually helps quite a bit. Boopsy! Again I am thrilled you are back here. You would be the best one to deal with the questions posed. I will continue to summarize the book, if you will help. This could be great!

ChristaAngel wrote:Question: Is it possible for you to briefly describe what "being grounded" is about?

It's nice to see you back in the forum! I know where you are coming from. Understanding what being grounded is - is difficult, because you probably don't even experience it. I know that sounds odd, but that is how it was with me just a short time ago. I had no idea what it felt like to be grounded.

You practice Zen and Mindfulness, which should make this even easier. I can't tell you how to get grounded because all the little exercises never helped me. What helped me was after I have done a good deal of pre-integration exercises. My full alters - all 330 are still quite separate, but now we share many things including memory. In this process I have found it easy to not dissociate. In simple terms perhaps grounded is simply not being dissociated.