Gaslighting

MotherRussia wrote:I think this is an excellent illustration of gaslighting and how it can occur in seduction. I think this is very common, also.

Yes, very common.

Sometimes it can be "unintentional;" a person can just change their mind, get cold feet, etc.

Yes of course.

But just as often it can be intentional with some devious plan behind it.

Again, i'm not sure there is always conscious plan.

Sometimes yes : there is the traditional example of the guy finging commitment to have sexual relationship.

Besides... it seems to me that some people create feelings and expectations/make them grow through subtle (or not subtle) hints that they might not be aware of.

I've had "victim blaming" used on me more times than I've been gas-lighted...

It's a sad state of affairs when you've been legitimately victimized, only to have the other person you're speaking to say some bulls**t like "it's your attitude that's the problem" or "you've brought it on yourself" without knowing the full story.

look at it like lies
everyone is against lies
but everyone lies
than it becomes about what is a white lie and what is a real lie
still not willing to admit that it's not black and white just a hole lot of grey
that is the nature of humans






































(lol copper)

madjoe wrote:look at it like lies
everyone is against lies
but everyone lies
than it becomes about what is a white lie and what is a real lie
still not willing to admit that it's not black and white just a hole lot of grey
that is the nature of humans

Yes everyone lies and everyone is everything...

I'd define gaslighting as : interpreting reality to unforce other's perception and identity. Something like that.

It can be real lie, very exceptionally (because it can be confronted)

Most of the time, it's a way to play with grey zones, to destabilise the other person and take power.

I'm not sure it's so common.

I see it as aggression.

I don't see it as inherent to all relations.

Is it possible to "gaslight" someone without being aware that you're doing it? Or do you have to be consciously engaged in the behavior for the term "gaslighting" to apply?

Also, is gaslighting simply trying to change a person's perception of reality or self? Or or does it necessarily mean to attempt to mislead the person?

look at it this way if i'm nice to a woman
and she things i'm hitting on her
what is it than
me being nice
or a seduction
those things are subjective and grey not black and white

madjoe wrote:look at it this way if i'm nice to a woman
and she things i'm hitting on her
what is it than
me being nice
or a seduction

Are you gaslighting? Well, if they lose their sanity (like in the definition at the beginning of this thread) maybe

those things are subjective and grey not black and white

Of course, seduction games ar subtle (or can be) or there can be many misunderstandings and expectations.
Some people are able to set boundaries when they are not interested, some are more vague.
Yes there is lot of grey in seduction.

But not often one loses sanity trying to understand other's message. If it happens, possibly there was some form of gaslighting (i guess).

It's not about saying no and make the person suffer. Or being at the border between love and friendship.

For me, it's something else.

pleasnpetrichor wrote:Is it possible to "gaslight" someone without being aware that you're doing it?

For me, it can happen without being aware.

Also, is gaslighting simply trying to change a person's perception of reality or self? Or or does it necessarily mean to attempt to mislead the person?

For me it's about perception.



(now, i'm not native english speaker. This is how i understand the word)

when you are a hammer
everything looks like a nail

madjoe wrote:when you are a hammer
everything looks like a nail

Not sure if i understood well. Who is the hammer? Gaslighter?

the woman who wants to be seduced is the hammer
if you want only one thing everything looks like that one thing