what kind of BPD are you- Queen\Witch\Waif\Hermit? *TW*

Those 4 BPD types were described in a book that deals with BPD mothers. I was suspisious at first, but then I saw fragments of it in myself, and in other BPD "friends" that I had (One was a Queen, the other was a Witch. I have to admit that I'm a bit stirred up of the fact that they tend to be the high-functioning types).

Reading those articles won't be easy on you. Those articles are quite harsh. Identifing yourself with one or more of the four categories, it even harder.

So, Let's start with information-
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sto ... r-children
Furter reading--
The BPD Queen- http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/mar ... line-.html
The BPD Witch- http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/mar ... ine-w.html
http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/mar ... lin-1.html
http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/mar ... line-.html
The BPD Hermit- http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/mar ... ord-1.html
The BPD Waif- http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/mar ... ng/page/2/

I myself is a mixture of the Waif and the Hermit.
I always thought of myself as a borderline who also has Schizoid personality disorder. I thought that was a strange combination. I guess it isn't so strange anymore.

Most of the time, my feeling are shut down, repressed. I've been abused so many times, that I've learned to mute them. I rather be alone, most of the time, since I don't really get people. Why should I bother? They will find who I really am, and then... puff, they'll be gone. I put a wall between me and them. I don't really get to know them, they don't really get to know me. That way they can slip out of my life- no emotional attachment. I get paranoid, sociallizing is sometimes a chore. I do not enjoy sex, I use it only to hurt myself.

And yet, I'm longing for somebody. This is the waif. Helpless, hopeless. Can't fend for herself. When somebody gets close, I stick my claws inside him. I get way too emotional, all of the sudden. I burst with intense emotions. I overwhelm the person, he leaves. Yet again I am hopeless, seeking.

I tend to act-in. I loathe myself, and can't hold down a job or sleep at night. When the numbness goes away, I'm so emotional. I have rages. I get confused, dissociated. Abusing meds and booze. Didn't cut for 6 months, but had suicide attempts in the past.

So, this is me. It's not a pretty picture. But I'm trying to get it better than I'm getting it at the moment.

Depends on the day, doesn't it?

I'd say waif / hermit also.

If I made a graph of the last 30 days of a half dozen variables of mood and affect, I could pick out points where various life approaches were present, but the overriding theme is one of frailty, dissociation, avoidance, with occasional episodes of anger that seem more physiological than emotional.

I have parts of a couple of them, but none of them fit me. I'm a bit waif, but don't play the victim and take responsibility for everyone else's problems as well as my own and certainly don't agree with the you'll be sorry when I'm gone, and I'm a bit hermit but don't agree with a lot of that one either. I don't criticise others, always apologise even when it's not my fault, always admit if I make a mistake, and wish people could understand me. I don't want control over things, but I do try to get it sometimes but only to take the stress and worry of whatever the problem is off of my loved ones

Hmmm this is interesting. I actually am not certain if my mother is BPD (I suspect she is.) But the BPD Queen sounds a lot like her. She is quick to lie on me to our family. For example at one point she had kicked me out and then told everyone I ran away. She only let me back in the house when she got word that I moved to a different state with my then boyfriend and was doing just fine (and because my father threatened to take me in if she didn't). She can't be happy if I'm alone with my father. She will call and interrupt and even be angry with ME that she wasn't invited on our outing. She's also a Witch type. I'm her number one target if she isn't feeling right. For absolutely NO reason, I can be attacked. We now have such a strange relationship where I play "her bestest friend" for my own survival. As long as I do what she wants she acts like she loves and cares about me and doesn't launch daily attacks. Any transgression is sure to be punished. (For example she knows I have an eating disorder and will attack my weight if she feels she's been slighted in any way. Even is it's completely imaginary.) And she most DEFINITELY played my brother and I against each other even to today. She never really destroyed my toys..but I've learned that any relationship I cared about, I can't tell her about it or she will try to convince me that the person doesn't love/care about me, they secretly hate me, or they're with me out of pity. She WILL destroy it.

I can be a bit of a Witch myself. I definitely have that borderline rage issue. Apparently I come off as extremely intimidating and sometimes cruel when I'm not actively trying to be kind. And I definitely grew up on the idea that if you aren't with me you are against me. If you do not love me, you must hate me and I must figure out how to get rid of you or at least keep you away. I see in myself the Hermit type as well. I prefer being alone...but I love people...but they freak me out and I fear rejection (even though I'm apparently charming??). And I am very much the "If it's not how I like it, I don't want it" type. I also tend to take little off head comments as intentional digs at me. I think in my teen years I was very much a Waif...but that has changed with maturity.

I really recognise myself in the Hermit description (and I found the point about why we can be resistant to therapy interesting), but I have elements of Waif too. I definitely don't fit the other two descriptions.

i mostly relate to this: but i do not have les behbehs.

hermit/waif.

Although none of them fit me completely, I relate the most to the Queen and the Witch.

I fit the waif completely. None of the others really describe me.