what kind of BPD are you- Queen\Witch\Waif\Hermit? *TW*

Interesting thread. I agree with littlearcher and the others who said these labels have negative connotations and the descriptions tend to be pretty negative as well. Not a lot of empathy in the article.

That said I did find it helpful in a way, while trying to get past the negativity.

I think my mom is a waif and I relate most to the hermit. I feel life is too dangerous and scary so I tend to shut myself inside and avoid social interaction and relationships for the most part. Socializing is usually a chore. I have to act happy and be constantly thinking of the other person and his or her feelings, and worrying how I am coming across and if he or she is enjoying my company. Its exhausting.

At the same time, I enjoy it. I am attracted to people while being scared of them. I enjoy sex and I crave affection and attention. I avoid it though because once I have it, it triggers my fears. I get paranoid and assume the worst of other people. I imagine they are lying to me, deceiving me, conning me, talking about me behind my back, making fun of me, etc., all while I have been giving them my all and trying to gain their approval and love. I don't know if this is true, but this is how I always feel when in an relationship or even friendship. The tension builds until I lash out at the person in anger over some perceived thing. Nobody can ever make me feel safe and secure in their love for me. So I'm constantly on edge, expecting a painful rejection to come at any moment. So I have found it easier just to avoid getting too close to people.

Currently I'm dating someone and so far the guy has been perfect, but I'm still triggered because I just assume he is going to reject me any minute, and its going to be a crushing pain. Even though he's given no indication he is going to reject me, I still feel it coming. We are usually in constant contact. Today he hasn't contacted me in about 5 or 6 hours and I'm extremely uncomfortable. He's probably just busy working, or maybe his phone battery is dead, but I already imagine he has abandoned me. This is totally irrational.

I'm forcing myself to hide this side of me from him. I don't think he suspects anything so far, but I don't know how much longer I can keep up the charade. I'm already getting obsessively attached to him, I feel addicted to him in a way, and knowing he can withdraw at any moment and cut me off, its making me so uncomfortable.

I shouldn't have gotten involved, but it just happened. He pursued me and did everything and now I guess I have to ride it out and hopefully I can keep myself under control.

Tbh, they kind of read like a PD cluster ###$ to me.

I think it reflects the new attitude of "everything is BPD" because BPD is "officially" treatable. (There are "evidence-based treatments" for it, unlike other PDs which don't have specific treatments with approved funding.) The fact the descriptions are all female sheds light on how that seems to be applied particularly to women. (who due to gender bias get a double dose of reasons to dx BPD.) Considering the nature of the book/info, I wonder if "in women all these issues are BPD" was more to do with the outcome.

katana wrote:Tbh, they kind of read like a PD clusterfvck to me.

I think it reflects the new attitude of "everything is BPD" because BPD is "officially" treatable. (There are "evidence-based treatments" for it, unlike other PDs which don't have specific treatments with approved funding.) The fact the descriptions are all female sheds light on how that seems to be applied particularly to women. (who due to gender bias get a double dose of reasons to dx BPD.) Considering the nature of the book/info, I wonder if "in women all these issues are BPD" was more to do with the outcome.

Bumping two year old thread! *Ducks* don't kill me, Casper or Justagirl! I searched about this on Google and this came up!

It kind of is a PD clustermuck, lol. The waif has avoidant/dependent/codependent issues, hermit ocpd/schizotypal/paranoid (?) the queen narcissistic or histrionic and the witch, well she only comes out sometimes and it's something we're all capable of (I know I am!)

Yeah, Nimply, I agree with your assessment, and I'm not sure I like these "labels." It reads too much like pop psychology and negative connotations with the label names "Witch" ..."Waif", etc.

I prefer Millon's subtypes. I've actually been meaning to make a thread to find out who relates to which subtype.

I relate to both the Discouraged and Impulsive Borderline.

How about you?

According to Wikipedia, psychologist Theodore Millon identified four subtypes of borderline personality disorder (BPD). They are:
1.discouraged borderline–includes avoidant, depressive or dependent behaviors
2.impulsive borderline–includes antisocial or approval-seeking behaviors
3.petulant borderline–includes passive-aggressive behaviors
4.self-destructive borderline–includes depressive or self-destructive behaviors

A person with BPD may have none, one, or more than one of these subtypes.

Discouraged borderline

This is a person who believes that no matter what, they just can’t win. Consequently, he or she may avoid people, believing they will not want to be around him/her. The other extreme is he or she may be overly dependent on other people, hoping to find some sense of self-worth from them. This person may also suffer from symptoms of depression.

This person is operating in an Abandoned Child mode. He or she believes that he or she is unworthy of love and affection. He or she believes no one will want anything to do with him/her, and behaves accordingly. This may include frantic efforts to avoid the end of or disturbance of any relationship, black-and-white thinking, or unstable sense of self.

Impulsive borderline

This is what mental health professionals usually mean when they say “borderline”. This type of person is in constant conflict with society. Bouts of violence are not uncommon. This person does not think before acting, and the result is chaos for everyone involved. This person may have antisocial personality disorder as a co-occurring diagnosis.

This person is operating in an Abandoned Child mode–a plea for attention, any attention–as well as an Angry Child mode. The Angry Child believes that other people deserve to be punished for his/her pain, and behaves accordingly. This type of person with BPD may have poor impulse control, abuse substances, or self-harm.

On the other extreme, he or she may seek approval at any cost. In a way this is just as damaging as bouts of self-injurious behavior. He or she may not care about himself/herself; it’s all about what the other person thinks. This often results in extreme efforts to avoid disapproval and abandonment.

Petulant borderline

This is a passive-aggressive person. He or she will injure himself or herself–either physically or emotionally–in an attempt to get needs met. This person has an unstable sense of self, a frantic fear of abandonment, and inability to express his or her needs.

This person operates in an Angry Child mode. He or she is angry and will hurt friends and family as a result. He or she often does not recognize the anger–the world is the problem, not him/her. He or she does not know how to express his/her needs in a healthy way, so relationships seem to be a game of “If you really loved me” or “You should know what I want”.

Self-destructive borderline

This is the popular cultural image of a person with BPD; “Goth” or “emo”. This person often suffers from depression as a co-occurring diagnosis and is a self-injurer. Oftentimes, just these two criteria–emotional instability and self-injurious behavior–are enough to merit a diagnosis of BPD (in spite of the DSM-IV mandating a diagnosis of BPD if five of nine criteria are met). This is a person who feels that no one cares, and reacts by not caring about himself or herself.

This person operates in an Abandoned Child mode. Since he or she does not feel loved, he or she reacts in self-destructive ways in an attempt to feel something instead of nothing. He or she lives in terror of abandonment, is self-loathing, and has no idea who he or she is inside. Thoughts of self-injury–or actions–are a given in this type.

source: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/borde ... -disorder/

Hmmm

Mostly hermit, some waif

With regards to Justagirl's subtypes - I think i relate most to the Discouraged Borderline

I would say I am the hermit. When I was younger, I think I had some waif-like features, but those diminished and became full on hermit.

As for Millon's types, I'm definitely the discouraged borderline.

I'm mostly waif with some hermit. My twin sister has BPD and she is a hermit to a T.

With Millon, I am primarily Discouraged but when I'm sensing impending abandonment and raging I become Petulant.

I don't care enough to read any of that. I'm that kind of BPD

I spend most of my time in the Discouraged position, second Impulsive, the other two from time to time but not as often.

Is the Discouraged the "quiet" borderline? From what I've read of the quiet borderline, they never rage, which isn't true with me. I rarely rage, but never? I do cry far more than I rage though.

justagirl00 wrote:Yeah, Nimply, I agree with your assessment, and I'm not sure I like these "labels." It reads too much like pop psychology and negative connotations with the label names "Witch" ..."Waif", etc.

The labels are very silly imo, but I did find the book to be far less disparaging when it came to the actual descriptions of the types.

NimplyDinply wrote:
Is the Discouraged the "quiet" borderline? From what I've read of the quiet borderline, they never rage, which isn't true with me. I rarely rage, but never? I do cry far more than I rage though.

I'm definitely in the "quiet" BPD category - i tend to get outwardly upset instead of raging and i have real trouble expressing anger. But i think if pushed to a certain point, i would.

So i do think you could be a quiet borderline and still rage sometimes, if things built up etc, plus i'm guessing personality would play a part too.