what kind of BPD are you- Queen\Witch\Waif\Hermit? *TW*

I don't like the typecasting at all. To me its inhumane. And I'm sure many nons exhibit some of this
behavior when they are under stress. I know very few people who don't consciously work on themselves, non or Pd who don't see themselves as victims in some regards. It's the nature of the human ego to
project.

The Waif "learned that submissive behavior was the most adaptive response to an oppressive environment." She also "sees herself as an incompetent failure, and is overly dependent on the approval of others."

The Hermit is "a perfectionist, a worrier, and . . . an insomniac. . . Hermit mothers suffer from persistent fantasies of harm coming to themselves or others, and tend to attribute hostile intentions to others."

Queen mothers "compete with their children for time, attention, love, and money." And "The dramatic and sometimes hysterical behavior of the Queen mother can terrify her children."

And finally, Witch mothers can be "bitter, demanding, sarcastic, and cruel," and "Witch mothers know what to say to hurt or scare their children, and use humiliation and degradation to punish them."

-- Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:33 pm --

Whatever I am, I am always either a mix of things or I am in between things. I have a core but it is very weak.

NO QUEEN

Work-the Waif at work and to some extent the Hermit

Witch when highly upset

Like I said, I am always a mixture of things.

Someone else said that they felt co-morbid with something else. I Am either a BPD with Histronic tendencies or a Histrionic with BPD tendencies.


I am in survival mode right now, so I don't feel too harmed by the labels. I( wonder if there is a good side to these that one could cultivate to create a better personality.

I relate most with The Queen

I have not posted on here in months.. soo if I were to say which label I am under I would say half Waif and half Queen. I can be very intimidating. I have a bad temper but then I have a softer side. A side of me that feels so deeply. I can scream and shout building up my rage until I just start balling my eyes out and become inconsolable. It is insane. I care very much for others. I don't mean to make others feel how I do. It sucks because I feel hopeless to stop the behavior but I am getting so much better.

I don't think that this labeling is helpful. It promotes more negative stereotypes. I already have to deal with my boyfriend's mom thinking I'm a manipulative villain thanks to her lack of education, if she got her hands on this crap she'd have a gleeful shitfest.

I'm sorry but I have to break silence, because this is really rubbing me the wrong way. I haven't bothered reading the replies (only the OP's post). I did read that other thread though asking about "Queen borderlines". Maybe I'm excessively sensitive, but I find such labels offensive. I don't like the negative images that attaches to us. I think it's very ignorant and insensitive of the author of that book.

For me. I know I'm screwed up and have some seriously maladaptive behavior (keeping in mind that while I'm borderline and it's my primary disorder, I also have many other issues at play as well), but I don't think that makes me an inherently bad person. I'd like to think that underneath it all there is a good person inside of me. I'm just seriously misguided and lost atm.

There is no thing wrong or bad about being borderline, and it just bothers me. Those labels do not promote awareness, they promote prejudice.

*slips back into the shadows*

Edit:

I just read the replies. It's nice to know others feel the same as I do. Thank you!

Yeah, these are definitely negative labels and any nons reading it who aren't already sympathetic to us can be easily turned against us. On the other hand, this isn't exactly a "farting rainbows" disorder we have, either, and it doesn't take much effort to see parts of ourselves in these descriptions. I'm not saying that they're helpful or at least unbiased, but they're not entirely untrue, either. I wish they were.

That said, like many people probably, I identify with elements of more than one archetype, depending on the mood I'm in. On good days, I will identify more along the lines of the Queen, in that I play by a different set of rules and am perfectly willing to collect the head of anyone who crosses me.

The underlying mood is typically a cross of Hermit and Waif; I want to be wanted, but am afraid to let anyone get close, for two reasons. First, I don't want to be hurt, and secondly, when I do eventually collapse, I don't want them to be hurt in the process. Also, I can easily sink into helplessness, generally don't feel loved by most, and am quite ready to go, but there is no "you'll miss me when I'm gone." Quite the contrary, I don't want the few who do love me to be hurt, only me. I want to implode, not explode.

The Queen for sure.

I read these. The witch is my "mother" for sure...fits her perfectly.

I'm definitely a waif.

I'm also not very pleased with the nature of these articles. I don't have a problem with the labels themselves, but I think the articles overall present a very negative and discourteous view of these personalities. I'm also a male and don't AT ALL understand why mothers are specifically being pinpointed, when there are obviously plenty of non-mothers with BPD. Maybe it's so that the author can more easily demonize people by implying child abuse.


I prefer Millon's subtyping, where I'd fit in as discouraged/avoidant type.