Laziness and AvPD

Hi, I'm lazy.

I'm also AvPD. (Hi, by the way. New to the forum. Hope to get involved. Does it help? Thats another post isn't it.) I wonder what the relationship between AvPD and laziness is? Because I had a good work ethic prior to puberty, when I lost all my friends and completely changed and became depressed and avoidant. I also wonder what relationship there is because my thought patterns when being lazy are pretty avoidant. For example, I'm pretty much exclusively busy thinking about how inadequate I am and how I will humiliate myself if I try doing my job when at that moment what I should be doing is, uh, my job. Also, I'm not lazy on a few things. Housework, errands, anything that doesn't have a difficulty level and or people involved. Haha ... Ha. Then again, I bet there are AvPDs with great work ethic. What's the relationship?

Part II of this post ...
Anyone want to recommend reading on AvPD so I can understand it better to keep me from posting these kinds of threads?

I don't think I'm lazy. I think I have a limited amount of energy and doing things requires more energy for me than it would for someone else. Going to the grocery store is just not worth that much energy. I can live without that much food... whatever. Even going to school or work isn't worth the energy, I have to spend at least a day 'recharging'. Way too taxing.

I think laziness is when you have the energy and you just don't do it. I just can't.

Pathos wrote:I don't think I'm lazy. I think I have a limited amount of energy and doing things requires more energy for me than it would for someone else. Going to the grocery store is just not worth that much energy. I can live without that much food... whatever. Even going to school or work isn't worth the energy, I have to spend at least a day 'recharging'. Way too taxing.

I think laziness is when you have the energy and you just don't do it. I just can't.

You don't sound lazy. If something exhausts you you have not been lazy. Do you mind if I ask you tho, what makes those activities exhausting and not worth it? Are there things going on in your head that make those things exhausting?

I wouldn't say I am lazy, but I have a weak will.

I often know and will something (in a cerebral sense) but fail to force the rest of my brain to go along.

It is not so bad any more, but there was a point when I was more depressed, and I would sit for hours fantasizing, and sometimes I would think "I need to go get a water, I am thirsty", but no matter how much I willed myself to go, I wouldn't. My mind had an agenda of its own. Kinda like being trapped in a small room in your brain, and you are talking to the TV, telling it you want to do something, but it doesn't hear you, or it doesn't really care if it does. Kinda like your will is just a small voice, and the rest is based on what your mind wants to do, not on what you have objectively thought you should do.

FoolForLove wrote:You don't sound lazy. If something exhausts you you have not been lazy. Do you mind if I ask you tho, what makes those activities exhausting and not worth it? Are there things going on in your head that make those things exhausting?

I have to constantly monitor what other people are doing, their expressions/body language, how it relates to me, and then monitor my own expressions/body language, how it relates to others, how it is in general (if it's 'weird' or something)... When speaking to people I often have to translate things, both in literal language (I don't live in a country where I speak my mother tongue) and in the fact that people don't thing the way I do, so I have to pause and think about what they're saying and what I'm saying. I also constantly second-guess myself on tiny things like if I'm driving I'm always thinking are the other drivers mad at me? Am I going too fast? Too slow? Is there a cop behind me? Did I turn on my lights? Do I know where I'm going? Etc. It's particularly hard when driving because I can't see the other people so I don't actually know if they're mad at me (though I always just assume they are anyhow...).

Idk I put too much thought into everyday things, but I can't control it. :\

Pathos wrote:I don't think I'm lazy. I think I have a limited amount of energy and doing things requires more energy for me than it would for someone else. Going to the grocery store is just not worth that much energy. I can live without that much food... whatever. Even going to school or work isn't worth the energy, I have to spend at least a day 'recharging'. Way too taxing.

I think laziness is when you have the energy and you just don't do it. I just can't.

Oh my gosh. This is exactly how I feel. You articulated it so well. I always feel the need to recharge after going to school, work, etc. It takes a lot for me. I used to work in a job that dealt with the public a lot and might have to go back to doing it. I really don't want to. I remember coming home feeling completely drained and sometimes I was so tired I would just cry. I only have so much energy in a given day and each person I have to deal with (especially strangers) depletes that amount even faster.

I don't think I know the difference between being out of mental energy and being lazy. Or if there even is s difference between laziness and avoiding work because of self doubt/fear of failure/fear of people seeing you/hearing you. I have a job where talking on the phone is central, and everyone can hear me do it, and I can't get started on anything because I'm so afraid to talk on that phone cuz everyone will hear. And even if they couldn't hear ..l it's like the universe could hear, and judge me anyway. I'm afraid of failing even in a vacuum because it still makes me feel like everyone is judging me. And yet--maybe I'm good old fashioned lazy and it's all an excuse.

Kala wrote:Oh my gosh. This is exactly how I feel. You articulated it so well. I always feel the need to recharge after going to school, work, etc. It takes a lot for me. I used to work in a job that dealt with the public a lot and might have to go back to doing it. I really don't want to. I remember coming home feeling completely drained and sometimes I was so tired I would just cry. I only have so much energy in a given day and each person I have to deal with (especially strangers) depletes that amount even faster.

Thanks! haha I spend a lot of time in my thoughts. I always think of it as being like, a bottle of energy, or a pie chart, and I take out little bits for every thing I do. There's only so much in there and then I have to recharge or I won't be able to do anything, even get up to shower or eat.

This article is also relevant and very interesting!

This article is also relevant and very interesting!

That is interesting. And awful. I'm sorry For anyone that applies to.

I don't have spoons. It's more like I have activities I'm capable of and activities I absolutely should be doing that I'm not capable of. I have all the energy in the world for chores, sewing, drawing, talking to family. But anything with a difficulty level is impossible to begin, even if I just woke up after a great nights sleep.

I guess I am lazy. I must use social fear and fear of failure as excuses. Anyone know how to stop that ...

Sometimes I feel lazy and I have to make myself stop daydreaming and go do what I need to do because people depend on me.I understand the need to recharge , being around people at parties , at school programs, the store ,wherever ,is just so taxing. Not to mention my biggest phobia is driving, so i don't drive, therfore going anywhere means I have to annoy someone who is driving me, (usually my honey) because I can't do it myself, and being nearly terrified for me and my children all the way to and from where ever it is I didn't want to go in the first place, sooo exhausting. When I get home I just want to be alone and have no responsibilities for hours , but it doesn't usually work out that way.