I used to have a very high drive for doing things. I was doing very well in school, I was very adamant about getting papers done, and showed good work ethic with wanting it to be done correctly. I was consistently practicing my writing with the intention to eventually get published. I was much more active physically. I was confident in where I wanted to head in life. And even though I was scared at the prospect of getting a job, I was actively filling out applications.
But as things got worse over these past couple of years, I developed into what could be described as lazy. But I think the problem is rather just a lack of drive or ambition. I feel lazy and that I just don't feel like doing things, I do a slack job in school, I haven't written in months, I don't feel like doing anything productive, mostly just sit on the computer, and I have no confidence in getting a job, the thought of filling out apps is too much for me. But as I think about it, I think it's all down to the avoidance. I feel inadequate, I feel no confidence or drive, and I want to avoid any sort of rejection or failure. It's not laziness, it's fear disguised as laziness.
- EGD.