Our partner

I need to stop masterbating

Sexual Addiction message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Snaga

I need to stop masterbating

Postby Ineedjesus » Mon Dec 24, 2012 8:23 pm

I have a problem. Im 16 and have been masterbating since i was 13. I feel guilt and feel like i dont deserve to be what i am. Im Christian and more than anything i need jesus in my life. I want to stop masterbating, but everytime i fail. I try going days without masterbating, but everytime i see something sexual or pornagraphy i masterbate. I just need help. I just want to be over this because its destroying my life. I need to be free of this addiction. Thanks.
Ineedjesus
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 8:14 pm
Local time: Sun May 26, 2019 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: I need to stop masterbating

Postby Albertyd » Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:18 am

Well if I where you I wouldn't look for answers concerning your religious beliefs on a medical forum. I also wouldn't trust Christian forums because I have been there and done that and I've gotta say your get conflicting opinions and won't be able to figure out which one is right.

From a medical perspective I know that a lot of people feel shame after they masturbate. Christians will say things like, "would you masturbate with Jesus looking at you," etc... Shame, etc..

I will say at your age I think but am not sure; you can go for years without masturbating without any medical problems, however, you will have nocturnal emissions about every month or so. Your body does this to prevent prostate cancer. As you get older past the age of 21 your sexual organs will peak and begin to decline and at this point if you go for years without masturbating like you where able to do when your where younger your penis won't be able to ejaculate anymore without Viagra or a smiliar Type of drug. For girls it's worse, no pill for them, just a complicated surgery that costs a lot more than a pill.

For me knowing that, I tend to be a little upset when people try to say it is wrong to masturbate. On this one I would say its okay to disagree with your pastor but don't go telling people that this guy said It is okay to disagree with my pastor! This is coming from an atheist, take what I say for a grain of salt, and move along. The bible is very subjective, it's easy to disagree with what others interpret it mean.
Albertyd
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 6:16 am
Local time: Sat May 25, 2019 9:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I need to stop masterbating

Postby Ada » Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:38 am

That's a great answer, Albert. To add another thought, being sexual is part of being human. Denying your sexuality is denying a part of how God made you. And to try to keep all sex within a single, monogamous marriage is likely to stunt the happiness of both you and your partner. Masturbation is a way to learn about the sexual part of your nature without risky experimentation with others and in privacy. It can also be a healthy way to release tension and relax. The problem comes only when it does feel like an addiction. When it's all you can think about and when it's interfering with other aspects of life.

Given that you are a naturally sexual human being, you are setting yourself up for repeated failure and self-disappointment. And, as Albert says, potentially sowing the seeds of a sexual dysfunction in the future. Either physically or emotionally through the shame and guilt that you are feeling.

Perhaps you could start by cutting back on the porn? That's possible and although it's a difficult goal it would support you in masturbating less. And in having more control over what you think about when you do.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
Ada
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 10626
Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 9:47 pm
Local time: Sun May 26, 2019 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (35)

Re: I need to stop masterbating

Postby alliek » Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:36 pm

Ineedjesus wrote:I have a problem. Im 16 and have been masterbating since i was 13. I feel guilt and feel like i dont deserve to be what i am. Im Christian and more than anything i need jesus in my life. I want to stop masterbating, but everytime i fail. I try going days without masterbating, but everytime i see something sexual or pornagraphy i masterbate. I just need help. I just want to be over this because its destroying my life. I need to be free of this addiction. Thanks.



Masturbation is normal and medically and psychologically proven to be healthy mentally, physically and sexually. You're 16 and that's what 16 year olds love to do. Dump the porn (that's your guilt) and explore yourself sexually (that's not). Have fun.
alliek
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2012 6:28 am
Local time: Sun May 26, 2019 12:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I need to stop masterbating

Postby Kabuhi » Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:41 am

Ineedjesus wrote:I have a problem. Im 16 and have been masterbating since i was 13. I feel guilt and feel like i dont deserve to be what i am. Im Christian and more than anything i need jesus in my life. I want to stop masterbating, but everytime i fail. I try going days without masterbating, but everytime i see something sexual or pornagraphy i masterbate. I just need help. I just want to be over this because its destroying my life. I need to be free of this addiction. Thanks.


Keep a journal writing down your goals and progress. If you find that you can't quit cold turkey, then start off say going 4 days without masturbating and write it down, then increase it to five and write that down, and go along adding a day each time you break celibacy. If you fail, then just continue from where you left off. The idea is to slowly wean you off your masturbation addiction. Abstaining from masturbation generally gets easier the more time you put in between sessions. By the time you reach a few months between sessions, you might not even feel like masturbating anymore and just decide to stop altogether.

Over the last year, I might be able to count the number of times I masturbated using only two hands with spans of months in between sessions, so I know that the biggest trick to stopping is building up enough mental endurance and discipline. The first few days and then weeks after a session are always when it's hardest to abstain, but the urge dissipates after the second month of so and I usually feel pretty good physically and mentally then as well.
Serving healthy doses of truth since 1996.
Kabuhi
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1104
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2012 4:56 am
Local time: Sun May 26, 2019 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I need to stop masterbating

Postby Anon2 » Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:41 pm

Albertyd wrote:
I will say at your age I think but am not sure; you can go for years without masturbating without any medical problems, however, you will have nocturnal emissions about every month or so. Your body does this to prevent prostate cancer. As you get older past the age of 21 your sexual organs will peak and begin to decline and at this point if you go for years without masturbating like you where able to do when your where younger your penis won't be able to ejaculate anymore without Viagra or a smiliar Type of drug. For girls it's worse, no pill for them, just a complicated surgery that costs a lot more than a pill.



Have you any scientific evidence to prove this? I would have thought that provided one stays reasonably healthy it will always be possible, no matter what.

With regard to the original post, I'd advise you to give up religion rather than masturbation. It is controversial of me, but if all they are going to do for you is put fear in your mind when you don't need to be afraid, is it really worth it?
Anon2
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:49 pm
Local time: Sun May 26, 2019 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I need to stop masterbating

Postby Kabuhi » Wed Dec 26, 2012 8:29 pm

Anon2 wrote:With regard to the original post, I'd advise you to give up religion rather than masturbation. It is controversial of me, but if all they are going to do for you is put fear in your mind when you don't need to be afraid, is it really worth it?


I'd advise you to give up masturbation rather than religion, since abstinence isn't really that hard once you passed a certain plateau and masturbation is sort of taxing on the body. It's one of those things you can readily acknowledge when you don't masturbate for any significant period of time. Also religious beliefs might be good for mental health and help foster a sense of community.

The challenge once you reach that plateau in my experience is that you need strong motives for not masturbating. Personally I don't have strong motives such as religious ones, so it's easy for me to rub one out if I feeling bored or I can't remember the feeling well and I'm curious despite the relatively mild cravings. The biggest reason why I don't masturbate more is because I don't really enjoy it enough to do it that often and it actually is somewhat taxing on the body, for men at least. Men who masturbate every day or multiple times a day probably feel physically and mentally awful without even realizing it because they have no reference for comparison.

Generally the cravings are strongest approximately two or three days after a session, so it's likely that if you fail then you're more likely to fail multiple times in close proximity thus the months in between. If this happens, just go back to where you left off in your progress.
Serving healthy doses of truth since 1996.
Kabuhi
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1104
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2012 4:56 am
Local time: Sun May 26, 2019 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I need to stop masterbating

Postby mrfunone » Mon Dec 31, 2012 2:33 am

Maybe you need a girlfriend or two.........or three.
One Summer, in college, I was seeing 3 girls at the same time.
And working on numbers 4 & 5!
The trick was to keep them from bumping into each other.
It was probably the best time of my life.
I miss those days sometimes.

-- Sun Dec 30, 2012 9:36 pm --

I don't recall Jesus ever mentioning greasing one's weezer in the Gospels.
Onan was chastised for spilling his seed on the ground in the OT.
Don't spill it on the ground, do it on a girls belly or someplace else thats fun.
mrfunone
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:18 am
Local time: Sun May 26, 2019 12:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Sexual Addiction Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests