I'd like to share my story here cause I have no close friend I can share this nightmare with.
Middle of March I was snowboarding in Italy with my husband. In the middle of the day we split cause I needed to take a break, while he went on snowboarding down the slopes. We were supposed to meet after 1 hour.
I bought a drink and after a while I went down the stairs of the pub to search for toilet. One guy was following me, I was thinking he was searching for the toilet too.
When I entered the restroom he followed me, locked the door, pushed me against the wall and did it from the back. I didn't even have a close look on his face, the only thing I noticed (or rather felt) was that he used a condom.
I was so shocked and scared I didn't even move or shout, I did nothing.
When my husband came back, I didn't tell him anything. I was so ashamed! I know he would take me to the police and doctor, but I was (maybe stupidly) thinking that it's no sense, as I didn't see exactly the man's face, and since he used a condom, I was hoping not to get pregnant or catch anything. Moreover, we were trying with my husband to have a baby for a couple of months, and I knew that if I get any pill from the doctor, my cycles will become irregular again for a while.
I was also scared that my husband will not want to be with me in bed after what happened, so I decided not to tell him anything. For the first few days that followed, I somehow kept myself strong, I think it was due to the shock. It was like all what happened was a bad dream.
However, when I kept back to the country, slowly I started to realize what actually happened.
The worst of all, 3 weeks later it turned out I am pregnant.
My husband is so happy cause he thinks it's his baby, and I actually hope it is (we did make love in the time of my ovulation), but I also can't stop thinking that SOMEHOW the condom that guy used broke, and he made me pregnant. I know it's stupid, and I am paranoiac, I have already gone through all the online statistics on condoms' effectiveness, and although they are quite reassuring, I am not sure whose baby I am having.
The guy was big and with rather darker skin, while my husband is blonde and has blue eyes, so if the baby is not my husband's, for sure he will realize.
I am scared he will accuse me of cheating him, and I think now it's too late to tell him what happened. How will he believe me?
I feel dirty, I became paranoiac and instead of being happy from the baby I can't stop thinking what can happen if the baby is born...