Girlfriend breaks up with me after every fight

I think she may have some sort of mental problem or maybe shes just a bitch? what do you think/

My girlfriend of 2 and a half years seems to break up with me every time we fight. We are not kids, im 27 and shes 25. I need this to stop, At first I didnt mind so much but now my brain and heart cant take it. How can I stop her from doing this? I know she knows i wont break up with her, and pretty much i always take her back... well i used to kind of beg for her back but i stopped that (i know she just wants the control) by the way these break up only last a couple of hours, or a day max

ONE THING I KNOW FOR CERTAIN IS SHE DOESNT CHEAT. SHE DOESNT HAVE MANY FRIENDS AT ALL AND I KNOW WHERE SHE IS ALMOST ALL THE TIME. (USUALLY WITH FAMILY IF NOT WITH ME)

(a little extra for the people that dont mind reading)
We met 6 years ago, i didnt know but she had a huge crush on me. Back then i was kinf of a player and had tons of girls. She ended up being my first serious relationship, and she was kind of obsessed with me. The obsession kind of ended a couple of months ago but i think thats cause our "honeymoon" stage ended.

anyway when she used to break up with me, id say sorry and ask for her back, saying i couldn't live without her..blah blah. Now i realize that is pathetic and i stopped doing that. Since i stopped that, she still breaks up with me but we end up just talking and she just acts like everything is normal after...her litttle breaks up are insane. in the last 3 months shes probably taken all her stuff from my place at least 5x and then brought them back.. when we have gotten back recently she just acts like everything is normal and doesnt even apologize..

She does haev bad anxiety and she pretty much cant do anything on her own. AND shes done this to her family. shes stopped talking to all them when she first started dating, saying she hates them, moved out. and then a year later become friends with them again and acts like everything is normal.



EVERY TIME she does this i get sick, cant eat, cant go to the gym, i get depressed. it SUCKS.
i need this to stop. is she just a bitch or does she need help?

This behaviour is unacceptable and is causing you real distress. You deserve to have security and stability. It sounds as if she has certain issues, and she really needs to take responsibility for them. You can also reclaim your own sense of power by taking responsibility for your own feelings. You may need to ask yourself some searching questions. Do you really need and deserve this continued uncertainty? Therapy can help you to find ways of reclaiming your own power, by helping you to place appropriate boundaries in place as to what is and what isn't acceptable behaviour, and to decide whether or not this relationship is worth pursuing with the status quo as it currently stands.

sounds like me

sounds like me too but i have bpd!

Marss1978 wrote:sounds like me too but i have bpd!

My gf does it too. She always comes back to me after (3 times), but part of me is always afraid that she won't come back. I'm super supportive of her and maybe I haven't set enough boundaries yet ( I dunno??) so she thinks I'll always be here (which I always will be) but maybe that's why she does it??

To be frank, you all sound like guest on The Jerry Springer Show.

Girlfriends who cause you this much misery when things don't go there way are little girls, break it off and stop going through this crap like some battered wife.

You're the one whose behavior i cannot understand. She is being emotionally abusive and openly mind fukking you. do you have low self esteem and think you could never replace her? She is the person who's lucky to have a partner because no one else would stand for her childish b!tch act.

sit down with her when there are no distractions and tell her it's damaging your life and you won't keep absorbing the pain. if she needs help tell her to get it because the next breakup is the last. Afterwards, do what you promised.

honestly, i predict if you tell her she won't care. she either doesn't have the highest interest in you or she thinks you're her doormat. because you are that at this juncture.

if i were you i would tell her to get lost today. 5+ fights in 3 months is way too many. you don't even get along with her well. I never fought with a woman like that, nor will i ever. compatible personalities are kind of important for me.

Foxes wrote:To be frank, you all sound like guest on The Jerry Springer Show.

Girlfriends who cause you this much misery when things don't go there way are little girls, break it off and stop going through this crap like some battered wife.

Wow....you don't deserve much of a response so that's all you're gonna get.

sit down with her when there are no distractions and tell her it's damaging your life and you won't keep absorbing the pain. if she needs help tell her to get it because the next breakup is the last. Afterwards, do what you promised.

Agreed!

She is being completely disrespectful. I wouldn't have taken her back after the first time (but that's just me). There are plenty of women out there who are capable of a functional relationship, so don't waste your life with this chick. It's not your job to fix this girl.

It sounds like a power grab on her part: "I will reject you before you can reject me". "I will hurt you if you don't let me win, etc". It is childish to do this and shallow that she pretends nothing happened a few hours later.

You need to do what you can to change her behaviour. People will treat you how you let them treat you. You need to teach her how to treat you. If you feel you can follow through with this, then this is my suggestion: sit her down when you are not fighting and tell her calmly how this affects you. Tell her something is changing in you and you won't take her back the next time she breaks it off. Make sure she understands that you are serious and do not get drawn in or let it escalate to a fight. It might be a good idea to leave her on her own immediately after.

This may make her think twice the next time as she has been warned that there is a consequence. If it doesn't, it may help you move forward in a more positive direction. If she does break up with you again, remain calm and repeat what you told her before and ask her if she is serious. If she keeps it up. tell her that you were serious about what you told her before: if she leaves, she isn't welcome back. Follow through.

Even if she doesn't/won't/can't change it doesn't really matter. You will have changed for the better and developed better mechanisms for handling this type of situation.

Hope it goes well.