Masturbation taking over women?

You could get your testosterone level checked. It might be low. I think it's pretty rare in younger guys, but it can happen.

Hi mrquestion....long time no post. Lol

You're perfectly normal, and HONEST if you ask me. You just haven't found a girl that grabs you (emotionally that is. lol..sorry: too funny). Good on you for being particular. AND....

NO, being an attractive female who is interesting to talk to ISN'T what it's about. I've plenty of men who fit the same criteria. In fact, I've had one guy who's been chasing me for the last 5 years (I used to be his boss). He is almost 14 years younger than me, good looking, very funny, easiest guy I've ever met to talk to, in fact, he has 110% worth of pluses. Do I want him? NO. Why? There's no chemistry. Sounds like it's the same story for you. There are heaps of fun loving 'people', doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. I've had a few relationships over the last 7 or 8 years, all with fun loving wonderful men. However, none of them float my boat. I've already met the man who floats my boat, but there are problems there, so I won't go into it. God I've been banging on about him for ever. It's not about me anyway...it's about YOU!

There is nothing wrong with you: you seem like you know what you want, and THAT my friend can be quite lonely. Look around, is everyone around you truly happy? Are all your friends in relationships feeling the ultimate happiness? I bet the answer is NO.

True happiness comes from within. If you're lucky enough to find people who equally provide you happiness along the way, then great. Don't go looking to 'fit' some societal contract. It's nothing more than a social condition that says a hell of a lot more about other people than about you.

whoops, meant to say..."I've MET plenty of men who fit the same criteria". I don't have plenty of them....lol

thank you a lot sweetcheek you have made me feel alot better and i think you are right... things arent always as they seem... i heard something funny the other day that said something like this; when you are single all you see are happy couples and when you are in a relationship all you see are happy singles.
anyways, the girl i was talking about she is now my girlfriend for around 4 days and to be honest I do not think I would care that much if we break up tomorrow, i would actually be sort of happy. anyhow i guess the answer is in that chemistry u talked about... or perhaps with a little time ill learn to care for her... so far i think i am doing a good job making her believe that i care...

Lol....I've made you feel better?
Then why are you wasting time on a girl you don't want?
In fact reading what you've written says that you clearly DON'T want her. Why make her believe otherwise?
That's very cruel actually. Sorry, I'm not meaning to sound harsh, but it's leading her up the garden path. She may well be into you, and if it's not reciprocal, then you need to be careful with her feelings. As people, we all have a responsibility to be honest to others. How would you feel if you met a girl who you DID want, you were over the moon about her, and she only went out with you because you were a convenience of sort. Put yourself in her shoes, and then re read what you've written.

There is the debate that we can "grow" to care for someone. Sure, you can grow to care about others, but that's not what it's about. Some will argue this point and think I'm wrong, but hey...how many people are truly honest about this? Not many if you ask me. In fact, people who tell you that it can grow from nothing usually don't have the evidence themselves to prove their point. I know from my experience, those who think it can grow, usually divorce or cheat. The one's who started with chemistry are the ones who remain together and happy (not without arguments of course, but the foundations remain the same, which is needed to get through arguments). If the foundations are weak, then they will collapse usually injuring those standing on them.

A lot of people are in relationships because they can't stand loneliness. In other words, they haven't worked on themselves, found things that nurture their core so they delay getting to know themselves. Instead, they get other people to fill the gaps.

Just something to think about.
xx

I know but what should I do? I cant just leave her and say something like "I had mixed feelings"... that's just something a girl would say... and I have fun with her... I am just not that emotionally attached. Shouldn't I at least wait until it stops being fun? at least then I'll have an excuse...
I see myself walking to her and saying..; hey look, I like you but I do not love you so we should just be friends... that sounds really ridiculous. she would be like.... ofcouse you dont love me u have known me for less than 2 weeks. And still, thats something a girl would say.
so, what should I do?
what i had thought is trying to care the best I can until I just get tired or I actually get to care. and if it doesnt go well I can always start being a jerk and annoy her into hating me... im sure she will feel that leaving me would be the best decision she ever made and she can go around saying that I was a jerk to her friends.

Hmmmm....I keep forgetting you're 18. That's precisely why I staying with the guy I married when I was 21. I met him when I was 17 and stayed with him because he was mature. He took emotions seriously. Sorry....you probably need to go through the motions and mistakes before you learn the lessons.

You're only thinking about yourself here and not the girl. It may well not go sour if she really likes you. In fact, she get SO involved with you that you're setting her up for what could be, a MAJOR fall for her.Would you like it if someone did that to you?

In any case, you've said you like her, so perhaps you're just not prepared to admit that you do have feelings. Unless you're a either a mater, or an asshole - why would you stick around? xx
Maybe you're trying to convince yourself she isn't that great to protect your own feelings. Hmmm??? Be honest here mrquestion.

BTW, I'm only trying to help...no harm meant but I'll be blunt (more to the point, honest about my observations of what I read).
Aligning your thoughts, feelings and behaviours takes maturity and self growth. So don't be too hard on yourself.

mrquestion wrote:anyways, the girl i was talking about she is now my girlfriend for around 4 days and to be honest I do not think I would care that much if we break up tomorrow, i would actually be sort of happy. anyhow i guess the answer is in that chemistry u talked about... or perhaps with a little time ill learn to care for her... so far i think i am doing a good job making her believe that i care...

This is the reason I gave up on relationships. A Brooke Burke poster is all I need. And a cat to snuggle with.

lol parador thats hilarious.
Sweetcheek I am always glad to see your comments and I agree that I am immature and everything you have said... its very true. But i don't really want to break up with that girl so I really want to believe that I am just trying to protect myself right now... how do i let my guard down? what should I do different?
Wondering why I do not want to break up with her that first thing that comes to mind is that she is the first girl I have been with in a while and I do not wanna lose her. I think that if I knew i would find a new girl tomorrow I would have no trouble leaving her today. I think i may not want to be lonely? although rlly thinking about it, loneliness does not seem all that bad, I mean i was happy when i had noone...

Oh o.k...so I was right, you DO have feelings for this girl.

Good on you for exploring the truth instead of getting defensive. You'll grow up much faster than many other guys your age if you're open to 'thinking' about things, and you clearly want to because that's why you're here, right?

Hmmm, how to let your guard down. Bloody good question and the answer is...COURAGE. Again, only a very small percentage of the population has any real courage. To have courage shows maturity. How to get courage? "Feel the fear and do it anyway" (title of a book, forgotten the author though).

Have a look at Dr Sandra Parker on utube. She has many clips, so choose the one called love or fear'. She is so down to earth, explains things in a plain English format with good analogies. She explains what I'm getting at beautifully.

Enjoy the moment and FOCUS on what you WANT! Most people focus on what they DON'T WANT because they're afraid that whatever the negative belief is, it will happen. Thus, they go ahead and MAKE it happen. Why? Because that is the road they have chosen to drive along, so naturally they'll end up at the 'negative destination' because that's where that road is taking them. Does this make sense? Take the road that leads to the positive destination and guess where you'll end up? Right....at the positive destination.
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