Problems regarding relationships with women

I so wish you stand on TV and say that so that everyone can hear you. It kills me every time I hear that "do i know you?". What is so wrong on talking to a stranger... its not like we are 9 anymore... I think i need a break from society.

Anyhow I think it does not have anything to do with keeping a long term relationship... I am currently in a relationship lasting 5 days now... its getting near my 2 weeks record and I could use some advice before that happens.

Relax. Stop worrying. This is advice for myself as much as anyone else.

Do you like this person? Enjoy spending time together? Have common interests or views?

Well yeah I like being with her and we sort of have common interests... time always flies when I am with her but idk... im sort of doomed to one week relationships.
*oh god im srry this post is not even about me...

Interesting mrquestion...you shed a bit more clarity in this thread about your "girlfriend".

You know, my youngest son had a girlfriend a few years back (he's now 24). They were together for just over 2 years. When they finally split up, I asked my son if he was o.k, and of course the answer was "I'm PERFECTLY o.k". He still sees her, in fact she comes over regularly to visit, and I'm now starting to wonder if my son is simply coping with "her decision". She is 3 years younger than him and interestingly, he said that it was a mutual decision. My point is, I can't work out what's going on given she still comes over and speaks to him with such affection. The interesting part is, whenever he meets a new girl and I ask him what he thinks or feels, he ALWAYS says that "X" isn't as smart as "Y" or isn't as much fun as Y etc. Even though he likes to stay 'cool' in relation to how he sees Y, he (like me) compares all the new girls to Y. I think he likes here more than he himself is willing to admit.

Becareful you don't wedge yourself into a corner or selfprotection. It could be long lasting and incredibly lonely. The guy I want, and have wanted for the last 21 years I think maybe doing the same thing: protecting himself from pain, which he keeps reinventing. I don't know what the problem is, but it's very clear that he likes control. He isn't too interested in vulnerability and all the wonderful benefits that it can bring. Anyway...enough of me.

Look forward to reading your next update.

Actually, I can totally relate to the story of your son. The last girl I had, before this one now (I guess I should call her my ex), I totally felt for her and I could say that she sort of broke my heart. I did not try to protect myself or anything with her I wanted her really bad... I sort of jumped in with my two feet but she never did. Anyways I guess I still feel something for her although I would like to think that I am over her... every time I am near her I cant help myself and she is a teaser so she has some blame on that. Anyways, every time I meet a girl I compare them with her.

That's a bit of a sad story.
I can totally relate to it. I think if you keep that person in your mind, then it is the real thing. I had my heart broken when I was 15, but I got over it very quickly. Like most 15 yr old girls...I thought my life was over at the time, but it only lasted a week or two, maybe a month or two, can't really remember but his memory had no longevity.

Maybe that's why you find it hard to like other girls...you're not over someone else. That's my story...I get so sick of friends and even acquaintences who keep saying.."what's wrong, you've been single for so long, blah blah." Reason is...I never got over the one I've wanted for the last 20 yrs. Mind you, I don't know him...but unless he's a drug pusher, woman beater, gambler or raging alcoholic, I'm sure he is as normal as anyone else would be.

Ya I am definitely not over her. Every time I meet a girl I feel like I am sacrificing something, I think even if I find a perfect girl I will not be satisfied.

There is no such thing as a "perfect girl". I don't think love can be explained at all. In fact psychologist Marianne Williamson has a great line in her "course of miracles" talk. She says that if you found the PERFECT partner, good looking, charming, smart, rich, social, kind, respectful, blah blah blah...then think about it, would S/He want you ? It's actually very funny, but also very true.

Mind you, the guy I want is very good looking, and I'm sure most of the other things to, but I'm also sure that he ISN'T perfect, and you know what? I'd hate it if he was. In fact...I thought he WAS PERFECT 20 years ago, and that terrified me. It created so many hang ups it was unbelievable. I thought I was too stupid, too fat, too old, too everything. Mind you, I think the reason I thought that was because he gave me the message that I wasn't that important. I wasn't a priority of any shape or form, so this triggered fear for me. I figured if I wasn't that important, then he'll definitely see all my faults. It would have been a totally different story had he made me feel like I was worth bothering with, but he didn't. I now know why, but didn't help me 20 years ago.

Hmmm, that's sad. There is nothing anyone can say to remove that. Telling you to get over it is useless. Well, see how you go with the new girl. That's all you can do. Of course...you could always wait a few years, then go find the ex again. She might've grown up by then. Just a thought.

I think I am better off without her, she is that type of person that all she does is complaint about life and doesn't say anything pretty... it gets frustrating to be with her after a while. As a matter of fact I do not understand why is it that I like her so much, the only good thing about her is that she has a pretty face, the rest is all negative. This girl I am with now is so much better than her on everything except she is not as pretty... I mean she probably is, but a different type of pretty.