How does one begin,
We are both from very conservative backgrounds and we have been married for over 12 years have children.
Only last week I got a call out of the blue from someone claiming to be a wife of a man that had a intense relationship with my wife when they were teenagers for over 5 years, and it only broke up because his family didn't see eye to eye with hers. He got married to someone else quickly as a result of family pressure and left my wife a broken heart.
My wife never told me anything, nor did I ask ,as anything before was not my business.
I always thought she had the most beautiful but saddest eyes I had ever seen.
So I started checking her smartphone and foudn her talking to someone via WhatsApp and Facebook that I didn't recognize. She claimed it was her distant cousin, but I knew differently.
Trouble is, she had an emotional affair before with a colleague, which only stopped when his girlfriend called us and let us know, telling us to follow her overtime...
I offered her the chance to leave or stay and take a lie detector test, which told me she didn't love him nor had sexual contact but did enjoy the "Close friendship".
The reason I forgave her was because I had a short emotional affair myself, which I ended on my own terms, when I thought it was going too far, and to me it was an adrenaline rush. She never knew of my emotional affair.
I also recognized that there was a disconnect in our relationship of which I had to share the blame, and promised to do something about it - but I didn't. My parents and her don't exactly see eye to eye.
Like before her behaviour had become erratic with extensive criticisms what I did or didn't do out of the blue.
This time, I didn't lose my temper,but felt betrayed and decided to dig deeper.
She often made comments which listening or watching romantic items of "You should never give your heart to no one" and "Betrayal" out of the blue, which only make sense now.
This time, I asked to give me truth for the first time in our relationship, and I think she has.
They were teenagers from the same neighbourhood and he was the first and only relationship they had. They were going to marry until their families fell out and pressured him to marry someone else otherwise he would be disowned. He promised her, he would only marry her no matter what, but he didn't and left her broken hearted and in tears.
2 years later she marries me.
She has only told me now what happened (struggling to say it to my eyes) after his wife told me everything, what happened after lying to me constantly.
He requested a friendship via Facebook and told her he was sorry and she was the only true love he had, and never got over it like my wife, and soon all they were planning to meet again after all these years at the secret rendezvous of their teenage years.
Instead of erupting, I felt for her. Thanked her honesty for the first time in our relationship. and offered to help her meet him if that is what she wanted, and I meant it. For the first time in our relationship, I saw her and wanted her to be be just happy. She said otherwise, saying now since both were caught in the emotional affair, he left her again, in shifting the blame to her, when he was the one chasing. She has strong feelings for him but to her he always be a "coward."
Like before I accepted my share of the blame in ignoring our relationship due to the children and the slave wage.
We are closer now, and she accepts I will struggle to trust anyone again. She refuses to leave me and says she loves me, even when I offer to help her meet him again.
Like I said before I see my wife now, with all her flaws and the most beautiful eyes.
She admitted herself in the last few days, that I am different, and asked why didn't you look at me before?
Yet the mind whirls on.
What will she do when tries contacting her again? Will his sweet voice with the eternal footprint always melt away her anger at him? Or can I finally fill the cracks he left behind?
I know from sources he loves her. I accept I came second and made many mistakes, and I told her I want her to be just happy and be honest with where she wants to be, regardless of the children.
Taking each day as it comes and any opinions welcome