Attracted to boys 11-14

Hello

I am an adult male in my mid 20s and I am emotionally and sexually attracted to teenage boys aged about 11-14. I guess I am a 'hebephile'.

I have never and would never hurt a child, but it absolutely destroys me that I have to keep this secret inside me and can never be with a person who I am attracted to. I have not been attracted to any adult so far, and several attempts to have sex with people my own age have been disastrous.

I have an autism spectrum disorder and do not know if this makes it more difficult to connect to adults my own age but I guess I am just looking to talk to people who are maybe going through the same thing.

The shame of this situation and the loneliness it brings is destroying my mental health. I do not even feel able to talk to a mental health professional about it because the topic is so taboo. Terrified they will think I am a pervert and a danger to children. I have even developed a phobia around children of all ages because I am so terrified of people finding out, and avoid going out when schools are starting or finishing.

Thanks.

You are not alone my friend, you aren't! I'm with you, and many, many others. Life is beautiful and there is nothing wrong in having an ability to see and appreciate beauty of young boys. They are like beautiful flowers, just don't pick them up from the garden and don't step on them - let them flourish.

Nice simile, Mitvade.

Welcome, Tortured Soul. I'm 25 and in much the same boat as you, though my attraction to boys is somewhat all over the map. I'm attracted to boys age 11 to about 22 depending on the person. My thoughts and feelings on this conflict every now and then. Sometimes I don't think there's anything wrong with these attractions, but recently I've started cleaning house since I noticed myself slipping into addictive behavior regarding my outlets, i.e. porn video sites that I'm pretty sure don't always filter what people upload that feature boys masturbating who may not be of legal age (I always report those if I can). I've also found various naturism photos and have a certain affinity for foreign and indie coming of age films that have nudity.

And while they may be legal where I live, I'm still not comfortable with how I can fall so easily into the trap of sexuality. There are times when I also feel myself being "snapped back" to reality where after looking at such things, I go on Facebook and talk to one of my old friends or acquaintances who when they were teenagers, I was attracted to, and the fact that I see them growing up and I'm not really makes me feel disgusted at myself. Even now being a few years younger than me, they're still attractive, but in a different way. I would feel comfortable about it now.

I just think it's far too easy to slip away from reality when the attraction hits, and that's what I don't like. It's one thing to see them as an object of your attraction, but quite another when you actually know people and realize they're human, so right now I'm in somewhat of a state of reassessment about my attractions and trying to move forward from it.

I won't deny it's hard, and I won't deny that they are certainly a part of who I am, and in many ways it hurts to let go of my outlets, but for the sake of my sanity, I'm making my best efforts to do so.

I also realized that much of this can also be perpetuated by the fact that I'm constantly holed up in my room or my car or at work, because I finally got outside the other night for the first time in forever and just sat on the curb. The weather was nice out, I could clear my thoughts, walk around, and it was very refreshing for my psyche.

Anyways, sorry for rambling on a bit, but that's where I stand right now. Sometimes it's good to let go and allow yourself to breathe in case you ever feel stifled.

Spirituality and meditation, music and my writing have always made me able to cope in cases where I feel trapped by this.

Appreciation of beauty is a great thing within reason. Just don't let it become an addictive thing. That's my take on how to handle it =)

If you need help or want to talk, I'm always here, and feel free to send me a personal message if you want. I do my best to help people out =)

Hey pm me!! I am high functioning autism to and like the same thing you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SURFDUDEBOY wrote:Hey pm me!! I am high functioning autism to and like the same thing you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi, SURFDUDEBOY. I think I should just point out that this is a forum for help and support.

I don't mean to jump on you, but when your first post is to excitedly invite PMs like that, I think I should invite you to read the rules.

Welcome to the forum BTW, to Tortured Soul as well, and I hope you both get something positive out of being here.

There are guys out there that look young naturally, but they're most likely in the 18-19 range. What exactly attracts you to them?

welcome Tortured Soul, I feel much the same way you do

the shame and the loneliness is killing me

gashbell wrote:the shame and the loneliness is killing me

I can identify with that, even though my paraphilia is completely different.

When I first posted on this forum, I felt like I was being killed by shame and loneliness.

The good news is, feelings of shame and loneliness can be significantly reduced when you find others who understand.

There's no miracle cure, but I really hope you feel less alone for having found this forum.

Graveyard wrote:
There's no miracle cure, but I really hope you feel less alone for having found this forum.

there is a cure, it's called a bullet to the head