Been Here Before - Update to my story

Well said. This is a support forum.

Thank you. I'm new here and someone approached me via PM yesterday asking for me to share child porn with them. I wasn't sure what to do, ie whether to report them or not. It seems pretty obvious what I should do now, 24 hours later.

Glad things are going well on the job.

I have been out of work since 2006 for mental health reasons, and this past September I decided to go back to school. Is that an option for you? Retrain in a new field, and get a new start? I got grants, bursaries, and scholarships to cover tuition.

And I was wondering why therapy/counseling is not an option for you? Surely managing stress and coming to a deeper understanding of your desires would only be helpful to keep you from reoffending. I have a therapist, and a psychiatrist, and will be registering with a sexual behaviours clinic in the new year, for more detailed assessment and support. Mind you, I'm in Canada, so I don't know about your local healthcare system, but there are quite a few resources to tap into here.

Finally, as I've lived with practically no income for all these years, I often use the website Meetup.com to find local, free events to attend. I understand that transportation can be quite high, but now that you are working again perhaps there is a little more money in the budget for getting into town. The way meetup.com works is that you put in your city, and interests, and it will give you a list of groups that match... i belong to an art lovers group, a photography group, a frugal/free events group, and several others.

QuackQuack wrote:Thank you. I'm new here and someone approached me via PM yesterday asking for me to share child porn with them. I wasn't sure what to do, ie whether to report them or not. It seems pretty obvious what I should do now, 24 hours later.

Yeah, its only happened twice to me, but I do wonder why some people even bother coming here as clearly they are not looking for help.

QuackQuack wrote:Glad things are going well on the job.

I have been out of work since 2006 for mental health reasons, and this past September I decided to go back to school. Is that an option for you? Retrain in a new field, and get a new start? I got grants, bursaries, and scholarships to cover tuition.

Sadly, I'm in the UK and my job has a very understanding view of the hours I can do, as I live in a fairly remote area and rely on public transport, but there are no areas or chances for me to retrain at my age, ten years ago and they probably would do something for me, but not anymore.

QuackQuack wrote:And I was wondering why therapy/counseling is not an option for you? Surely managing stress and coming to a deeper understanding of your desires would only be helpful to keep you from reoffending. I have a therapist, and a psychiatrist, and will be registering with a sexual behaviours clinic in the new year, for more detailed assessment and support. Mind you, I'm in Canada, so I don't know about your local healthcare system, but there are quite a few resources to tap into here.

Again I'm in the UK and there is literally no support until you commit an offence, its probably the biggest problem with the system in the UK, and from what I remember phychiatrists are obliged to report any behaviour criminal, either in the past or merely fantasised about to the authorities

I'd love just to be able to chat to somebody every so often, its not to glorify my offence but to acknowledge how beautiful little girls are, I've never committed a contact offence or behaved inappropriately in front of children, but because I sat at home and looked at images of children, both nude and clothed, I'm treated the same as a rapist or abuser, something is clearly not working in the system

QuackQuack wrote:Finally, as I've lived with practically no income for all these years, I often use the website Meetup.com to find local, free events to attend. I understand that transportation can be quite high, but now that you are working again perhaps there is a little more money in the budget for getting into town. The way meetup.com works is that you put in your city, and interests, and it will give you a list of groups that match... i belong to an art lovers group, a photography group, a frugal/free events group, and several others.

Lost my job just after christmas which was kind of depressing, but I did make a very good friend (female) who seemed to like me for me and last month I decided to tell her the truth and amazingly she was really very good about it.

Asked me some basic questions, what was my offence, what age range am I attracted to etc, and although I was very nervous afterwards waiting for a reply to a text, we met the next week for our usual catch up and she admitted she had to look back and examine everything about me and decided I was still the same nice guy she knew before and did not need to be punished for my sexuality (her words, not mine) if I have never acted physically on it.

She is such an amazingly nice person I felt it was worth the risk and it paid off, its not all doom and gloom

That's great news. I also came out to a friend recently, and it went very well indeed. It seems some people have the brains not to judge people on the stereotypes presented in lurid tabloid articles after all.

-- Wed May 01, 2013 11:19 pm --

Pedosneedlovetoo wrote:I'd love just to be able to chat to somebody every so often

Feel free to drop me a line if you wish. We don't live all that far from one another and are about the same age, and I know that like me you're not interested in coarse discussion or illegal material.

Partridge wrote:That's great news. I also came out to a friend recently, and it went very well indeed. It seems some people have the brains not to judge people on the stereotypes presented in lurid tabloid articles after all.

-- Wed May 01, 2013 11:19 pm --

Pedosneedlovetoo wrote:I'd love just to be able to chat to somebody every so often

Feel free to drop me a line if you wish. We don't live all that far from one another and are about the same age, and I know that like me you're not interested in coarse discussion or illegal material.

I had been wanting to tell her for months, she has a most wonderful capacity to be non judgemental on most things, but losing my job actually made that decision easier

Sent you a friendly pm

And last night was the absolute epitome of why I am a girl lover, I was at my local club playing pool with some friends and one had bought their daughter along, she is about 9 and absolutely stunning, but better than that she is really delightful and such a happy kid, She was there last week and I was told not to take it easy on her and played three times and won three times, this week I played her once and beat her once and went on a winning streak, beating everyone for seven games.

As I was waiting for game seven to be set up, I heard her dad tell her that the next game would be her last, I decided then that she was going to win and played hopefully with enough subtlety that she would not know I had let her win.

And wow was it worth it, the entire crowd cheered her on and when she potted the black we all cheered like mad and she was so happy, an absolutely massive smile on her face and a handshake that was all trembly with excitement, she summed it up in that one exchange.

Went to bed with an amazing high

Been a bit low lately which is why I have not been coming here, looks like a lot of things have fallen apart for me recently, my time in the amateur dramatics society seems to have come to an end as a change of chairperson and committee has seen people in charge who have made it clear they do not care for me at all, and that is without even knowing about my conviction, there does not appear to be any future job for me at all and that is getting very depressing after nearly a year now, I think I need to move to a town where transport would make it easier to get a job, but for that you need money or luck, I've been $#%^ out of luck for a long time and as for money

So from 14 months ago when I had a job and friends I saw regularly and a bright future, I now have no job or prospects of a job, all the friends I made I no longer see since they were all connected to the AD society and I am back to being alone and depressed with not even a tiny flickering light in the distance.

Sorry to come here and just complain, but it has been a #######5 twelve months so far

PNL2 wrote:Been a bit low lately which is why I have not been coming here, looks like a lot of things have fallen apart for me recently, my time in the amateur dramatics society seems to have come to an end as a change of chairperson and committee has seen people in charge who have made it clear they do not care for me at all, and that is without even knowing about my conviction, there does not appear to be any future job for me at all and that is getting very depressing after nearly a year now, I think I need to move to a town where transport would make it easier to get a job, but for that you need money or luck, I've been $#%^ out of luck for a long time and as for money

So from 14 months ago when I had a job and friends I saw regularly and a bright future, I now have no job or prospects of a job, all the friends I made I no longer see since they were all connected to the AD society and I am back to being alone and depressed with not even a tiny flickering light in the distance.

Sorry to come here and just complain, but it has been a #######5 twelve months so far

Oh hon! That's what we're here for! Don't forget, this is a place for support. I'm sorry to hear you've fallen on rough times. *hug* But things can get better right? There's always a bright side.

Is there anything else you can get involved in? Keep us updated!

Take care
-Belle