Erection when holding a child, paedophillia?

Hey, I've posted about this before but I've never really got the definitive answer that I feel I need, I always seem to find a way around it, and even though I know you have to have sexual fantasies about children to be a paedophile, which I don't have and I'm not attracted to them either, I still have this worried thought that because I got a semi-erection from merely holding a kid that I must be a paedophile. I know it wasnt random, because I felt it come on immediately when I held him. Also, I sometimes do get erections if I hug a girl or touch her in certain ways but its normally because I'm attracted to them or just the fact they're female (its never occurred with males). I'm 16 years old and the child was male by the way, I'm straight. I know the child was cute (in the sweet 'aww' kind of sense) so might this have been what caused it? Like, I may have gotten mixed up between cute and attractive, linking back to my point about getting a bit of an erection when I hug a girl my age who I find attractive. I wasn't mentally aroused or anything and was immediately freaked out at this semi erection, but I dismissed it and forgot about it happening, and its only lately that I've remembered it and really thought about it and what it may have meant. Could it really mean that I'm sub consciously a paedophile and enjoy touching kids? Even though I didn't actually enjoy it. I've read about POCD before and this seems to sort of fit in with my symptoms here but no one really ever seems to have any evidence to base their pocd thoughts on whereas this is based on me actually getting an erection whilst hugging a child. This thought is literally taking over everything I do and even though I know I'm not actually a paedophile the thought of getting an erection whilst hugging a child keeps making me think I must be. Please could anyone offer an insight as to why this happened? So to sum up I know it was because I hugged him because I felt the reaction the instant any contact was made but it wasn't sexual and I certainly wasnt attracted to him, so does anyone have any suggestions to help me get this thought out of my head finally? It'd be a MASSIVE help, thank you

You really need to stop this. You're not a pedophile. End of story. The thing about people with OCDs such as yours is that no matter how often they're told that they're not x, they won't believe it. You're terrified of being a pedophile, but you won't accept no for an answer.

Look at it this way. What would it mean to you if you were a pedophile? You obviously ignore the meaning of the word. Who the hell cares if you got an erection while holding a child? Is that your definition? And what's the problem with that? You're not attracted to the kid. You don't want to do things to him/her. What's the issue? If you want to call yourself a pedophile, then call yourself a pedophile. What does that mean to you?

Well my idea of a paedophile would be someone that is attracted to children and knows this, however even though I know I'm not one I just can't block the thought out of my head, I seem to feel the need to reassure myself literally for as long as I'm awake purely because I don't have an exact answer, but I am slowly starting to realise that no matter what the answer to why I got an erection holding a kid, I'm not attracted to them so it can't have been because of that, its just dragging out so much and with every reason I find there's always a way around it thank you for your reply by the way, its certainly going to help me just get over this annoying thought, as I don't think finding a definite answer is the way to go

Dude you seriously need a beer. Chill out. You aren't a pedophile. I can gaurantee it. The more you think about it the more you are convincing yourself that you may be. YOU ARE NOT! If everything i've read from you is accurate there is absolutely no way you are a pedophile. I am attracted to boys age 6 to 11 or so. How do I know this? Because when I see them I feel all of the same feelings that a normal man would feel when he sees an attractive woman. The same feelings you feel when you see an attractive woman. When you are attracted to someone you don't have to question it. The fact that you are trying to figure it out tells me you are not attracted to this child. An erection doesnt mean anything. I get them when i'm just sitting queitly not thinking or doing anything. I get them while i'm driving. I've even gotten them walking around. If he was in your lap when you were holding him it could have just been that there was some contact that triggered the erection. Or the feeling of closeness with him could have triggered it or your penis just made an executive decision to get hard all by itself with no triggers. None of those things add up to sexual attraction.

So to sum up, assuming you're being honest with us and arent holding back something, you are not a pedophile. You don't even have pedophile tendencies. You should relax tonight, drink a few beers (if you are a drinker) watch some TV and commit to not thinking about this at least for today. Take it a day at a time and if things don't improve go see a psychologist. You do have a psychological issue it seems but the good news is that it isn't pedophilia. You should try and get some help dealing with it though so you can live free from having these thoughts. Just remember that a lot of us do struggle daily with pedophilia. If you simply can't shake the idea that you might be (which you still aren't btw) then try dealing with the fear. Just accept that it's possible and move on. I know I am a pedophile and I certainly have my depressed moments but yet i've still managed to function well socially and be a productive member of society. I am also a married man. It doesnt rule over me. I rule over it and I control myself, not the other way around. It wouldn't be the end of the world if you were and if you just need to accept that as a way of moving forward then give it a shot but again, you aren't a pedophile.

-- Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:45 pm --

Crazyp - I didnt realize your age when I posted my response. Don't drink any beers. Lol. I'm certainly not trying to get anyone into any trouble. But do relax.

Thanks again man, it is really helpful to read things like that. With what you and musicman said about knowing when you find someone attractive and considering the actual definition of paedophile I've managed to seriously put my mind at rest and ignore the thought somewhat. I suppose i do just need to chill out about it and get over it, its like i know im not a paedophile but my mind keeps going crazy and popping these ideas in to kind of 'prove' that i am. Haha and don't worry about it, ill try and stay out of trouble! Anyways thank you again

Hey, I think this has happened to me, I say think cuz it was 15 years ago but I think it did. I was 14 at the time and carrying my 3 year old cousin. I don't know what caused it, maye it was the closeness? Hormones? Random. I'm not sure but i recollected this from my past which I've never thought about before and know I can't get over it. What do u tell yourself?

You are young. Everyone gets awkward erections. Doesn't make you a pedo.

This happened to me before too. The thing is that it doesn't happen with all kids or anything, but this one particular one it did happen with, I really truly loved like he was my own. It never did for the first few years of me knowing him, but when I felt I was losing him, it started to happen. Not sure if that offers any comfort, but it does happen. It freaked me out too. I think it is more common if you have loving feelings for the child, like if it were a nephew, etc.

I hope that offers you a little bit of comfort.

Erection when holding a child, paedophillia?

Depends on how old the "child" is:

under 4: nepiophilia

5-11: pedophilia

12-21(?): hebephilia





-- just joking --

Okay, for real this time:



It's only in the make-believe land of civilization and grammar lessons that sexuality and intimacy are isolated -- but in living, the sexual and the intimate can not be seperated and intermingle constantly -- they are physiologically integrated in the body whatever contrivances social customs might pretend.

Nature's way of saying go ahead and do that, it's for the race, it's for the good of the human species: is our body response.

Your body says [époché]..., your mind says sin, law, parents, etc.

Listen to your body and not to your thoughts.

Our thoughts are all made up fizz of our current time and place culture and situation... mostly sadistic trash... our feelings and sensations however go back millions of years.

Male interest in the young is the difference between hamanity and the animal kingdom. Human male interest in children is "intimate" and "sexual" -- both are made-up English words... observe for yourself your own physiological and phenomenological response when you hold an infant, interact with a child, or with a teenager... Incest or pedophilia are recently made-up language games, they are not always exactly so representative of the real lived experience.

How to stop thinking:

Pay detailed attention to what you see. Look at the colors, shapes, and edges of your field of vision. Do this for one minute. Then switch to hearing: listen for every sound around you. Do this for one minute... Touch... Taste... Smell...

Now follow your heart....

You ever get an erection rubbing against your mattress, or when pressed up against a washing machine on full spin? Would that make you attracted to mattresses or washing machines? You ever worried about getting an erection when being examined by a male urologist, even though you're not gay? Why would there be such anxiety? Because the penis responds readily to physical stimulation. In the absence of attraction an erection means nothing.