Incest roleplay

Hi. First of all, sorry for not creating a self-introductory thread and rushing directly to the exposure of my problem. Second, this will be long, though I'll try my best to make it as brief as I'm able.

Let's go straight to the point: I get arroused with incest-themed fantasies.

I guess it began when I was round 14. By that time, I got my very first Internet connection. This is no coincidence. I'm starting to believe that one thing brought the other; suddenly, I had access to all this amount of porno and, somehow, stumbling upon accidentally with incest erotica acted as trigger for my fetish.

There's one thing that I have to point out before going on: I never felt attracted to my biological mother. I found the mere idea disgusting.

Nevertheless, one thing is true: 95% of the porn I download, is related to mature women. Also, I fantasize a lot more with mature women than younger girls (younger than those women, although not younger than me, which is quite rare).

As I stated before, I never saw my mother with lust. But, for example, if I see a hot woman, the first thing that comes to my mind is "How I'd love to do x thing with her... if she were my mom!" In other words, I fantasize about being with an older woman playing the parts of mother and son.

But I don't mean to have sex with someone and call her "mom". My fantasy goes further. It's a seduction game, bearing in mind that what we are doing is wrong. No sex involved. At least no penetrative sex (at least not at the beginning). It's about realisticly recreate a mother/son relationship, with all the things that come with it.

Sometimes I enjoy thinking of this. But most of the time I feel guilty. Even though my real mother is not involved at all, I feel like I'm disrespecting her.

I've tried to figure out the reasons behind this fantasy. And the answer is no, I was never abused in any way. My childhood was a really happy one, and I was raised within a healthy and functional family.

Still, there are other possible explanations, which I consider stronger than simply turning to the abuse argument.

For example, I'm scared of younger girls, and even of girls my age. I think they expect something from me that I cannot give them (or at least I think I cannot give them). I'm a virgin, and I got big issues regarding my penis size. I've always been shy, but is not shyness what keeps me as a virgin, but the idea of having a small penis.

Sorry, my english is not so good. I'll try to put it in different words. I'm somehow convinced (although I know that it's impossible) that girls are aware that my penis is small. And that's the reason why I don't have any sexual experience.

By the way, I'm 25 years old, almost 26.

It's very depressing to get to this age and not only being still a virgin, but also haven't fulfilled any sexual fantasy. I mean, the kinky thing about being with a 10 or 15 years older women is to be under 30. After that, you might be with mature woman. But you yourself will be mature too!

I imagine that an older, motherly woman, will have no problems with both my penis size and my lack of experience/sexual skills. After all, to a mother's eye, one is always the best, the most pretty, etc.

There's a lot more I'd like to add, but I don't want to make this longer. Feel free to ask me whatever additional stuff you'd like to know, or even to tell me that you don't get the point of this thread (which I think is quite confusing).

Thanks in advance for reading. Sorry for stealing your time away.

Hi TroubledMind, and welcome!

I wouldn't worry about the virginity thing, I am 26, male, and still virgin, and I have never been in any sort of relationship. I don't think a girl is going to reject you simply because of your penis size, they come in all shapes and sizes, I think that is a silly reason to worry.

I can relate to what you say about porn triggering this fetish of yours. I have some fetishes that have been triggered or greatly exacerbated by materials I have viewed online, not even porn, just forums relating to the topic, and this can take something from a mere curiosity to a full-fledged obsession that is hard to get rid of. The internet can be a horrible place, 14 is pretty young to be exposed to those things, and I am sorry that you were.

Don't worry that you haven't indulged your fantasies, lots of people have sexual fantasies that they have never indulged. Sometimes it's because they are illegal or immoral, other times it's because they're too taboo or they have no willing partner. Then sometimes they do finally indulge them and they feel guilty/stupid afterwards, like it wasn't what they really wanted after all. I know for me the #1 fantasy since I was a child was to be tied up, but I've never gotten anyone to do this to me, even though it's so simple, and I can't correctly/safely do this to myself (lol).

You've done a pretty good job explaining and analyzing why this fantasy is appealing to you, and I sort of get the reason behind it. I don't really know what advice to give you, you're going to have to work out your own solution to this. I personally think the better route would be to try and get over the shyness/penis size thing and try to meet girls your own age first, since it seems healthier and doesn't involve so much guilt.

Curiously, there is a story pretty similar to yours in this thread: paraphilias/topic47977.html. Your English is perfect, by the way.

Thank you so much for your reply, likewise. And yes! That thread you showed me is very similar to mine. In fact, I got there after browsing on Google people who are going through the same as me. Nevertheless, I decided to start a discussion of my own, for there are some points I can't relate to this guy -suicidal ideation, for example, and that I don't have actual incest fantasies but incest themed fantasies, which I don't think it's the same thing.

It's hard for me to assume the truth behing the nature of these fantasies. I'm well aware of what they mean. But I just don't feel capable to step out of it and move on. I know that it's my penis size complex what makes me look for a mother figure and prevents me from getting along with girls my age. But I just can't turn this notions into actions.

Also, I'm aware that you won't get laid with every girl you talk to. But my logic tells me that, if I do talk to a girl I like, the chances of getting to a more intimate level rise -they become possible. And that's when I try to avoid it by all means. Which is only by not talking to anyone at all. And I'd like to insist over this point, because I'm not shy. In fact, I love to speak in public and to express my point of view in front of -for example- my class. I get into debates and stuff. But, meanwhile, I hate it, because I feel exposed. People start to notice that I exist. There's certain risk of getting caugh by someone's eyes. So I hide. (Even though I'm convinced that girls don't like me, that's funny; I'm affraid of having sex, though no-one ever looks at me).

Well, that's it. I feel so comfortable with older women. And I don't know if it's right or healthy. It seems I can't get over my obsession. And sometimes I think I'm heading towards my own destruction (or sort of, don't take me literally), because -like you just said, likewise- fantasies tend to turn out dissapointing, so far from what you thought it would be. (And I say it although never had fulfilled any fantasy).

Thanks again!

TroubledMind wrote: I know that it's my penis size complex what makes me look for a mother figure and prevents me from getting along with girls my age.

"Small Penis Syndome" is apparently something that a lot of guys suffer from. I've never really seen it discussed here, but you can search for it. I've posted some links below, maybe if you read about others who have this problem it will help you. Another thing you could try is being in a relationship with someone your own age and see if you are proved wrong about how they will react.

Small Penis Syndrome: Characteristics and Self-Help Treatment Suggestions

Small Penis Syndrome Forum