I'm like..a reverse pedophile? Let me explain..

I too have been an autopedophile since early puberty. The difference though between myself and what appears to be the norm is that I was never abused/exploited/or even exposed to sexual context by anyone else as a child. All sexual discovery was done by me alone. My mom gave me the sex talk, which was very unsexy lol. I discovered pornography on my own at age 9, not accidentally. I went on Google and searched for it.

On long car trips I would sit in the back seat and close my eyes and fantasize about my father and my 18 year old babysitter. I would actually masturbate quietly sometimes. I would walk around the house in barely any clothing im hopes that I would attract them. I tried many things to tease and seduce almost any man I felt was attractive. The closest Anything ever came was a boss of mine when I was a lifeguard at 15. I walked around iny my bikini purposely swaying my hips and bending over etc. He made a few comments and flirted with me often.

My 18th birthday was a dreaded occasion. When it finally came around it depressed me greatly. I was a woman. I didn't want to be a woman. I wanted to by a little temptress who had to sneak around. I am 20 now, with a small chest and a small frame, and my boyfriend is 30. We have a Daddy/little relationship, and we role play a lot. It is almost enough for me. But it is often still painful that as the days go by, I am getting older and older.

I worry that I am incapable of ever truly being happy, despite my happy childhood-devoid of any abuse at all.

RainbowKid wrote:Hahah!!! XD, why?

Well, in America we have this Indian actor who's always telling people to "Go ###$ a goat!" as a weird kind of insult. Lol, I guess it reminded me of him...

How are you doing, bro?

Allie47, I get what you mean about being kind of disappointed now that we're 18+. Part of the thrill for me was the fact that it was something neither party was supposed to give into. I wanted to press the limits, to tempt people into it.

Now there is no limit to press. This does sadden me for selfish reasons, but at the same time I know it's better not to get anyone in trouble, even at the expense of a thrill for me.

I am however content in where I'm at now. On a blog I have I'm in the ageplay and petplay community, and sometimes post pictures. I've been told I don't look my age, so hopefully I can help people in a legal way and still feel cute~

Its funny how when I was younger I wanted to have a womanly figure and now I'm like "I wish my boobs were smaller :3c " even though they're still on the petite side.

sprooglestrewft wrote:The knowledge that there are little girls out there who purposely flirt with older men and perhaps even want them is difficult to deal with because it seems to run contrary to the common wisdom that children aren't interested in sexual/romantic relationships with adults.

We all know that this "common wisdom" is #######4 right? We're all sexual creatures -- even as children. Why else would children touch themselves, or experiment with other children like "playing doctor"? I was really interested in sex when I was a kid, even though I was really naive and didn't know much of anything about it. I remember when I was like 4 or 5 I ran into the bathroom of one of my friend's moms as she was getting out of the shower; I wanted to look at her naked. And a bit later I'd play this game with a friend, where we'd both hide in my closet and pull down our pants at the same time to look at each others' penises; it was fun! I was really interested in girl's/women's bodies from a young age. I was also fascinated with dating and couldn't wait to do it. My best friend when I was about 6 was a girl my age and our favorite game was pretending we were a "couple" and giving out "relationship advice" to other kids at recess! Ah, those were the days... Then I moved away. She gave me a photograph of herself along with a little love letter, both of which I've unfortunately lost.

I wish society could get a grip and just accept that child + sex does NOT spell disaster. Yes children can be easily manipulated or taken advantage of and we should look out for them. But this notion of protecting children's "innocence" until it magically vanishes at age 18 is so ludicrous I can't even comprehend...

Sigh.

Children are naive, that's why it's wrong for adults or older children to pursue them sexually. I'm
18. When I was 17 I had a teacher who kept on trying to get to me. He wanted me cos he saw me as naive and innocent. He liked that. He had some weird fantasy about teacher-student. But wanted to sexually groom me into some sex doll of his and made it very apparent that he viewed me in a very sexual and patronizing light. Either way that's wrong … he's trying to take advantage of someone younger and less experienced. I mean … children don't even need manipulation. They simply don't know. Catch my drift ?

Interesting you should use the word "manipulating". When I the girl part of a man/girl relationship, I felt I was the one doing the manipulation, and HE was the defenseless victim.

I already have been through lots of sexual abuse and misuse in general so I saw it for what it was. I used to be really paranoid, then came out with a really good eye for recognizing people's true characters and intentions. So then I was no longer paranoid. It's not uncommon to feel that way though. I struggled with it at points. Especially with the first abuse I faced.

Intersting points. *mod edit* The fact is im a ped . I'm attracted to all women shapes sizes as long as there's something I find attractive about them where be it there smile n sense of humour Intelligence. Girls for the small body smooth skin . How pure and tight they look. Either way people have a right to choose. Now if one girl of 8 like to have her uncle eat her pu $sy I guess society should but out and mind there own business. But what if she doesn't want it. Our doesn't want it to go so far as having five family members tin a train on her every night. Than society would be proper in doing it n its to hard to find that medium n its to hard to decide if someone did cross that boundary if someone is being deceitful or manipulative. I guess dicey its right for airing on the side of caution. Just sucks that every girl that got off sitting im my lap couldn't science more even if I or she wanted to.
Idk tho cause the first time I was molested I was scared. I thought I was going to die the first time I had an orgasm at six. I was confused I suppose. The gal didn't get caught and it went on fit quiet awhile till my family moved. I enjoyed it afterwards and sought it out. Maybe there's more to this dynamic than society can dissect. Honestly I would love to pm any girl about this just looking to make friends with something culturally taboo in common