nevermind :)

miss.nobody wrote:No we -did not- have sex, so please don't get your mind in the gutter.I rather not post what we did, and not because is ''offensive'' but i don't think it is anyone's concern.Frankly, we did not do much.

Just because you didn't have sex, doesn't mean that you did not molest him. whatever you did if it was sexual in nature even if it was kissing, it is considered sexual abuse, and very damaging to a child, however minor you may think the act was. Even if he was compliant at the time of whatever messed up $#%^ you did, he was probably just scared and, will realize that he has been violated. He will remember when he gets older and hopefully prosecute.

How can you say you love children and hurt a child in this way. You must know how damaging sexual abuse is for on individual. You do not love them, it is a sexual attraction.

How can you say you love children and hurt a child in this way. You must know how damaging sexual abuse is for on individual. You do not love them, it is a sexual attraction.

I never mollested anyone!You don't know me and you say things like this, How dare.I love children, no i never mollested one or hurt one before.You have got it all wrong.Hugging and snuggeling is not mollesting!!! I didn't want to say anything, because there was nothing to be said.You people are very quick to judge, i feel so attacked now and i came here for help, ha.

I'm sorry if my comment seemed harsh, but you must understand that when you say something like:

Of course i get erges, i did act up on it once quite a while ago...but now i feel guilty even talking about it

Well, now that makes a person think. If you feel guilty about something that you have done to a child, then you obviously knew it was wrong. Never once did I pass judgement on you, never once. I understand that this is a serious condition and you can not just make yourself unattracted to boys. I know the way you feel is not your fault. But if you take action on those feelings that would be wrong. Child abusers have no right to not be judged. There is no excuse for that.

Okay so now you say:

Hugging and snuggeling is not mollesting!!!

Your absolutely right. It is not child molestation. But if you are snuggling and hugging for the wrong reasons, well that is definately innappropriate. Who snuggles with a child that is not a family member or loved one anyway? This boy could probably sense something was up with you, and he probably feels all weird about it. Pre-pubescent boys don't really like to snuggle from what I have seen of them. This probably frightened him and made him feel very uncomfortable. No, it probably wasn't sexual abuse, but this can be just as traumatizing for a child.

You people are very quick to judge, i feel so attacked now and i came here for help

I'm sorry if I made you feel attacked. That was not my intention. You say you come here to get help. Well, if you want help you are going to have to deal with questioning and maybe even a few rude comments. Don't you understand, this is very sensit8ive subject? Alot of people on these boards have been sexually abused by pedophiles. I would love to be able to help you, but really,how can you be helped in this way? You need intense therapy, probably weekly of even a couple of times a week. You need a therapist who specializes in pedophilia. And, until you feel like you have fully recovered , and you are positive that those feelings are gone, or atleast surpressed, you should stay away from children. And even when you do feel like you have changed your thinking, or have supressed the erges, you should probably still be with another adult around children. That is really the only advice I can give you. I think that is the only help that you will receive here on the Psych forums. Nobody here is a psychologist, and that is obviously what you need. Please, get help now. And please, if you love children, know that if you acted on these erges that you would seriously damage a child for life. I hope that you aren't able to be around children, and if you are I also advise you to stop seeing them immediatly. All it takes is one really stupid decision on your part and you could take away a child's innocence and, ruin their entire life. So just keep that in mind.
Take care,
Amy

Hugs and Snuggles is one thing to give to a child you know whose in your family, but if you are doing it and it gives you sexual pleasure in any way, then it's a concern.

Why are you so defensive when we ask you what you did that was acting out, was there more to the hugs and snuggles?

When you hug someone I don't see that as acting out...

We are not attacking you, you are jumping the gun, we are trying to understand what's going on etc.

miss.nobody wrote:.You people are very quick to judge, i feel so attacked now and i came here for help, ha.

If i told you i just caved in someones skull because it was sexually gratifying would you not judge me for this?.

I have judged you, i cannot offer anything of substance if i dont. I've judged you as a risk so i'll give you support and advice appropriate for someone i view as a risk.

You havent been attacked though, i think you'll know when your attacked.

Snuggles and hugs?....i'm sorry but i think your talking $#%^ now. I could be wrong but you'll never get better until you are honest about how you acted out on your erges at the time. And if snuggles and hugs was infact the case was this with some boy you knew, a family member, was it sexually gratifying, do you feel shame or remorse.

For whats its worth the fact your a pedophile and as you think possible a sociopath or someone with sociopathic tendencies its a very big step to acknowledge some wrong doing, or that you need help.

Why is it you feel you need help by the way. How do YOU feel about it?.

Please people; it's URGES not erges.

glvr1965 wrote:Please people; it's URGES not erges.

I have the URGE to tell you what a ######6 idiot you are for pointing out something trivial as a spelling error while ignoring the meat of a sensitive subject.

You read through a thread and thats what you take the time to post about.



Your a pedophile yourself, i'd of thought you'd have something more insightful to share.

Who cares how some people spell URGES...

Just like some people spell color colour.

Ignore him Jamie.

Pre-pubescent boys don't really like to snuggle from what I have seen of them. This probably frightened him and made him feel very uncomfortable. No, it probably wasn't sexual abuse, but this can be just as traumatizing for a child.

No is not!Is very neurturing and loving behavior towards the child.Of course on the other hand if you force the child to do that, then it may be ''traumatizing'' and ''frightning''.I would never do anything like that.It has to be both ways of course, and children do not see anything sexual with hugging so please don't reverse this into mollestation or a very frightning experience.

Why are you so defensive when we ask you what you did that was acting out, was there more to the hugs and snuggles?

Why?. Wouldn't you get ''defensive'' if somebody threw the word mollestation in your face! I am not here to prove myself to anybody, i am here to try to change my sexual prespective.Wich has the least to do with my past.

I perfectly understand that you have to judge the person first, in order to give some advice.But some of your comments went a little to the extent. So please respect what i say to be true, and not try to justify what i say into lies.

Color and colour, I will grant you, but, there is no such word as urges. It only takes a sec to look up a dictionary and get the correct spelling.

And, FYI, I am in contact with Miss Nobody by way of PM, and I support her fully in her quest for acceptance, and not ridicule, as is the case for her on this forum.

Finally, don't forget one thing folks; we are all sick people try to get well. That's the main reason we are all here. Otherwise, this forum is just a medium for finger-pointing.