***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Feeling a little lost and alone. Been on 3 different anxiety medications since 19-26 none of which worked and ones which made my OCD sky rocket.

Been living in anguish with no medication or help for a few years now after talking to a therapist who thought I was fine. Over the past two years my OCD has gotten worse with each day. Can't do the normal day to day activities I wish I could and I live in constant fear and anxiety.

Yesterday after a long Time of being scared to talk to a doctor I finally went. Sure enough after explaining my symptoms to her she then prescribed be yet another SSIR. Given my past I am extremely afraid of these pills and she said it was a risk and may not work. I felt pressured and felt my past was back when a doctor just throws you on medication after talking to you for 5 minutes. I don't want to take the medications. My mother told me yesterday to never speak to her again about my mental illness if I refuse to fill the prescription.

So today I feel lost, I have no hope or nothing to fall back on and feel as if I'll never get better.
Wish I could find the help I need

Welcome Shaunam!

Are the medications the same exact pointed you've taken before, or is it something new?

Tomorrow's the day for my initial intake appointment at the therapist.

I'm not sure what to expect yet. Hopefully this isn't going to be a place where OCD isn't even a part of the discussion.

Let us know how it goes!

It's your dime. It's your time - bring up the OCD issue. And as Snaga said...

Of course I will mention it. They already sort of know. Because of the the phone intake and probably existing records from other therapist.

I know for me, ocd affects nearly everything I do, so how could it not come up? It is an integral part of us. Just because I've never had HOCD doesn't mean I don't freak out over my sexuality. I just freak out in a different way.

Well mine seems pretty focused on that for months now. As you could probably tell. But it causes me to be cautious and affect pretty much every aspect of my life right now too. Maybe help some of the others out?

So I made the mistake of going back on tumblr, especially the day after "National Coming Out Day". Oh my God I was having one of my old school panic attacks again.

One thing I have noticed is that some words that could be associated with LGBTQ get me on edge. Like any word that has "Trans" in it. Transportation, transmission,transform, transcend, you get the picture. Uuugh i just get a really hateful feeling. That and the phrase "coming out", Lesbian, and even the word "accept" get me on edge and I hate it. I hate those words when I didn't use to. I wish they were never part of the english dictionary at times. I know it's wrong to say that, and the LGBTQ deserves more than what they get and I support them as an ally.

I can't even look at a rainbow without feeling uncomfortable. and yet I LOVE Yaoi ( i cant resist. Them guys are bootylicious) :3

Bootylicious. Lol you're pretty cool.

Oh, um, I mean, stay away from triggers....