finally awake, but its not enough...

well its 12:30pm i have taken 1 15mg Dexedrine Spansule, 2 5mg Dexedrine Tablets, and tried out taking one of my 70mg Vyvanse capsules I had left over...over the span of the morning starting at 8am... i finally feel awake but very unmotivated... i thought if i could get up and get moving I'd feel a lot better... So I decided to pick up my house which is a disaster from me sleeping 20 hours a day for the past week and a half straight... So i picked up the unopened toilet paper 12 pack i got from the store and opened it and started placing it on the shelves in the bathroom and became sleepy and wanted to lay down... It seems as long as im sitting or lying down i feel semi awake, but if i try to do something i get extremely sleepy... im not very over weight or anything... but have gained some weight recently... but have lost 15 pounds of that... i eat pretty healthy and drink only water... ive tried about every stimulant there is to try and prolly will be seeing a neurologist soon... im losing hope to ever feel better narcolepsy has ruined my life and is ruining my relationship with my fiance... everyone thinks im lazy and expects me just to snap my fingers and be awake, when i feel like i have taken a handful of sleeping pills and am just trying to stay away on them...

Hi, MissRaven! Your neurologist might be able to help you, please don't give up. Of course you're not lazy, you have an illness and it's not your fault. Remind yourself that it's not always going to be this way, you will find a good treatment.

I've had some of the same experience with people considering me lazy and I certainly believed that for most of my life. I still know someone who will become angry if they see me visibly sleepy when we're doing something together. There isn't much you can do about behavior like that aside from educating the people you know. I've also had the exact same experience with feeling more alert when I'm sitting or even laying down. It seems counter intuitive and I don't really have an explanation for it. I tried working for someone for about a week and I was almost passing out standing up after a few hours of light labor. Not from fatigue, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. It's really frustrating.