Hello again,
After 2 months, i am again changing therapists. I got recommended to see a private clinician who has specialties in psycho dynamic counseling as well as identity issues, which i clearly have. I posted a thread titled Being Myself (indifferent) vs. Appeasing Others (happiness) in the ASPD board. Demon, and a couple others, suggested that i show strong signs of an "unstable identity with an unhealthy dose of narcissism", and sent me a link for compensatory narcissism.
Once i did a bit of reading, i kind of crumbled. Everything about compensatory made total sense to me and i could relate to it 100%. I then called my old therapist and asked for her thoughts on CNPD, and she told me she does not have the power to diagnose me, but she thinks "it makes a real good fit".
My thoughts: I never considered my self inferior, or at least consciously. I do not want to believe that compensatory could be a possibility, but the more i think about it the more everything is starting to make sense.
Although this is not an official diagnosis, i feel as though it outlines me as a "person" perfectly.
Now, my question is, what are the techniques in treating such a disorder? Supposing i have it, narcissism is my defense mechanism. The thing is, i don't want the narcissism to go away. I just want the "inferiority" to go away. I feel as though a fix for me would be totally flip-flopping my self perception.
I am really skeptical about seeking treatment