Letting out my inner narc

PLEASE: No narc hatters. Do yourself a favor and save your breath because what i am asking for has been well thought out by me, and i need no convincing otherwise

I am simply asking Ns how i can let out my inner narc. I have been diagnosed with both covert narcissism and borderline personality disorder, and came to the conclusion that the only way to become happy is to embrace my narcissistic tenancies as opposed to trying to repress them.

Has anyone ever gone through this before? If not, how does one embrace narcissism?

Thanks in advanced for the nice replies and the lack of drama from the non-narc freedom fighting **edited out**

**the edited out word** rhymes with maggot and is slag for a homosexual

This book might help you. It helped me.
The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment

Synopsis:

In this compelling book, the authors present an innovative therapeutic model for understanding and treating adults from emotionally abusive or neglectful families — families the authors call narcissistic. Narcissistic families have a parental system that is, for whatever reason (job stress, alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, physical disability, lack of parenting skills, self-centered immaturity), primarily involved in getting its own needs met. The children in such narcissistic family systems try to earn love, attention and approval by satisfying their parents' needs, thus never developing the ability to recognize their own needs or create strategies for getting them met. By outlining the theoretical framework of their model and using dozens of illustrative clinical examples, the authors clearly illuminate specific practice guidelines for treating these individuals.

If you don't hate your parents, you should probably learn to, and to accept your hate. Parents are often, if not always, the root of this kind of problem. Note that I'm not talking about lashing out. I'm actually civil with my parents today, much more than I used to be when I was in denial about it.

anagram wrote:
If you don't hate your parents, you should probably learn to, and to accept your hate. Parents are often, if not always, the root of this kind of problem. Note that I'm not talking about lashing out. I'm actually civil with my parents today, much more than I used to be when I was in denial about it.

Amen. You are totally bang on with that.

Why would you assume he has a parental issue? I have no problem with my parents and no reason to dislike them. While yes my father is a narc, he simply was absent growing up.. at his age now, I do not live with him and touch base once every couple weeks. Everything is fine with us all.

Every situation is different and that is rather strong advise without even knowing if that is the problem.

svenska500 wrote:Why would you assume he has a parental issue? I have no problem with my parents and no reason to dislike them. While yes my father is a narc, he simply was absent growing up.. at his age now, I do not live with him and touch base once every couple weeks. Everything is fine with us all.

Every situation is different and that is rather strong advise without even knowing if that is the problem.

My parents have nothing but the best intentions. I am not saying they raised me flawlessly, but they tried their hardest

For me, its more about shame and trying to be perfect. This had a bit to do with my parents, but not all of it.

Anyway,

BACK TO THE RELATIVELY SIMPLE QUESTION.

How do you accept it?

(BTW svenska your quote speaks to me <3)

It is strong advice, but it comes from someone who is more experienced, has done a lot more work, is further ahead with his recovery and consequently is a lot more aware that you. There are variations but essentially all situations are pretty much the same. It's about levels of awareness.

The belief that having a personality disorder is just about the way you are wired is just another way of not being able to see.

narcbolan wrote:Nope, all situations are pretty much the same. It's about levels of awareness.

The belief that having a personality disorder is just about the way you are wired is just another way of not being able to see.

Right.

We arn't on this particular thread for a psychology lesson, though. This thread was to help me not to state the obvious

So, does anyone have an answer to my question?

Actually you're right, we have gone a little off topic.

But, in a way you actually have had an answer, what Anagram is sort of saying is that, whatever one thinks the cause is, it is the cause that you have to adress before you can move along with it.

You also need to hit some sort of rock bottom before that happens. Once it does it is neither about repression or embracing, it's about figuring out exactly what is impacting negatively on your life, making long forgotten connections with it, then finding a way to relate to it differently.

Unless you're not bothered about relationships, in which case, you don't need to change anything.

I still don't see why family must be relevant in this topic at all.

I simply do not think about them or it much at all. I hold nothing
against them and I contact them once every two to three weeks
by phone and talk for fifteen minutes.

Why would I change anything about this? If anything, dismissing
my parents entirely from my life I would think would have a very
negative aspect on my life.

-- Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:33 am --

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:
BACK TO THE RELATIVELY SIMPLE QUESTION.

How do you accept it?

(BTW svenska your quote speaks to me <3)

After confirming that my diagnosis of NPD was actuallity.. (It took 4 years to accept my therapist was not simply a wackjob) I looked back at all of the meaningful/close relationships I have had in my life. They were all narcs.

I simply have accepted that 95% or more of the population will always simply be superficial, social, external individuals in my life.

I have accepted and realized that I needed to stop trying to fit in with anyone/everyone. I realize I will only really deeply connect and feel with someone that is wired like me.

Everyone else bores me. I can only fool my mind so much. Nons are boring. (to me) My mind has no interest in forming a bond/connection on a deep level with someone that I am bored with.

So in summary.. just accept who you are.. and realize it will be much more difficult for you to find connections with people.. nons have almost everyone.. we have a small percentage.. it's like being gay in a small town.. there are others out there like us.. but it sure won't be as easy as the majority to find them.. especially since most all of them don't even know they are narcs.

narcbolan wrote:It is strong advice, but it comes from someone who is more experienced, has done a lot more work, is further ahead with his recovery and consequently is a lot more aware that you. There are variations but essentially all situations are pretty much the same. It's about levels of awareness.

The belief that having a personality disorder is just about the way you are wired is just another way of not being able to see.

how do you know? Recent studies found that narcissistic people have increased activity in a brain region associated with self-focus. granted, this may be because they choose to focus on themselves more than others, but it could be because they are wired that way. people with psychopathic and borderline personalities definitely are wired differently. there is evidence for numerous structural abnormalities in both cases. what you're saying is akin to saying that depressives are just sad and they're not wired differently, but they are.