LAUGHTER is the best medicine

SERTENLY!

A tightwad was looking for a gift to give a friend. Everything was too expensive except for a glass vase that had been broken and he could purchase it for almost nothing. He asked the store to send it hoping his friend would think it had been broken in transit.
In due time he received a note: “thanks for the vase,” it read. “It was so thoughtful
Of you to wrap each piece separately.”

Subject: live to be 80


I recently picked a new approved primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing
"fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking
him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"
Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very
unhealthy!"
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
hiking or bicycling?"
No, I don't,"I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you give a $#%^?"

hehehe...I dont have a joke to tell, but thanx Madameblueyes, that made me smile, which has'nt happened in a while.

Kayty

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN!
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax
pour it onto your upper thigh,
rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the
instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know
the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man,
"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.



A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning
and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and
was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on
the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in
her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced
down the last sip she noticed three of those little green
army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys
be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV,
'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current, she whacked him with a plank of wood that had been by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

I nearly fell off my chair after reading that last joke. I love it.

I loved that last one too

Sweetngentle