LAUGHTER is the best medicine

Good jokes thank you for to all who posted a joke

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer

LOL That is soooooooo true. LOL. Sometimes I wish my computer would break so I can get up and get some chores done

Good one Ddee!

MAXINE AND HER 5 NEW BOYFRIENDS!




I am seeing five gentlemen every day .



As soon as I wake up,
Will Power helps me get out of bed.




Then I go to see John.



Then Charlie Horse c omes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.



When he leaves, Art Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.


What a life!




Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.


P.S.
The preacher came to call the other day.
He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him: "Oh, I do it all the time. No matter where I am in the parlour, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself: "Now, what am I here after?"

I heard this a couple night's ago....i dont know if it will translate without seeing expressions and gestures. I thought it was cute none the less.

I know i'm going to screw it up.


A little boy and girl were playing outside of the girls house one sunday. The girl was watching the boy play with his new toy boat in a puddle....him noticing her watching hold's up his boat all proud.

"i got this new boat, what have you got?"

The girl looks around her yard

"i got a bike" she responds

The boy having been upped one pull'd down his pants all proud.

"well i got one of these"

The little girl looks in her own pants and her eye's well up before she gose running into the house. A while later she comes running back out with a smile to the boy playing with his boat. She points to her pants...before pointing to his.

"my mom said with one of these i can get as many of those as i want"

JamieJ23 wrote:I heard this a couple night's ago....i dont know if it will translate without seeing expressions and gestures. I thought it was cute none the less.

I know i'm going to screw it up.


A little boy and girl were playing outside of the girls house one sunday. The girl was watching the boy play with his new toy boat in a puddle....him noticing her watching hold's up his boat all proud.

"i got this new boat, what have you got?"

The girl looks around her yard

"i got a bike" she responds

The boy having been upped one pull'd down his pants all proud.

"well i got one of these"

The little girl looks in her own pants and her eye's well up before she gose running into the house. A while later she comes running back out with a smile to the boy playing with his boat. She points to her pants...before pointing to his.

"my mom said with one of these i can get as many of those as i want"

Jamie, you actually did a really good job of telling it! LOL it's hilarious, I'm definetely gonna remember that one!

So i went to the gym the other day, after my workout i hit the showers. There was this jamaican guy i had seen around and said hello to. Well i was standing next to him and could help but look down and take a peak. I notice a tattoo along the side of his penis that said WINNIE. So i say eh thats a nice tat there...is it your girlfriends name?. The guy looks at me and says no mon when i get hard it says WELCOME TO JAMICA ENJOY YOUR STAY.

lol thanx for that.

A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs.

Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it.

As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly.

Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now.

As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "How much does this rug cost?"

He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap your pants when you hear what the price is."

An Indian tracker is taking some pioneers through the plains in the mid-1800's. Suddenly he stops and points. "Bear have babies." He says.

One of the younger pioneers runs up and asks, "How'd you know that!?."

"I know these things," replied the Indian.

They continue their journey, and a little while later the Indian stops, points, and says, "deer tracks."

"How'd you know that!?" asks the young pioneer once again.

"I know these things."

After another hour of journeying, the Indian jumps of his horse and puts his ear to the ground. "Buffalo come."

"How'd you know that!?"

"Ear wet."

lol and youve managed to put a smile on my face again.