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by **Chazz** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:48 am

I stumbled upon this forum and I have to say that It has helped me cope and understand in an immeasurable way what I now believe to be my own experience with an HPD.

Wow, thank you Chazz for putting up your story. You put up with a whole lot! I hope you are doing ok!

Personally, I haven't dated a person with HPD. Mine is a little different - it's the wife of a man I dated for several years. It's frustrating, but I don't have to deal with ever having feelings for this person. A lot of the areas you describe in your writings are things that I have observed as well. Again, I am glad to not have a relationship with someone like this, but I do know how it feels to have that type of person "in" my life.

This person I believe to have HPD seems to use her husband as a father figure to her two children (from a previous relationship), a source of income (while she goes to college & has no job), and a way of meeting people (she's not from the town she lives in, he is, and he knows everyone). I see the way she uses her friends to climb the social ladder. She wants everyone to see her in the best light! She cannot stand if someone thinks ill of her. She compliments people so much that I can't believe people don't see how fake that really is! People just eat it up. She is seen as caring, thoughtful, loving, sweet, funny, fun, etc. etc. All that while she has personally tried to ruin my current relationship to make my life hell, because (& this is my belief, she will not say why she interferes in my life) I dated her husband. I was his first love, his first real relationship, and he cheated on me with this woman for months - - & I think that the relationship between her and her now-husband (my ex) was much more intense and exciting when it was behind my back. I think the excitement left their relationship and to keep it hot, she put in her mind that I still want him back and I am obsessed with her and her life. She has ruined my name in my home town, she tells lies to everyone about me, and she has truly shown me how evil she really is. How she hides that side of herself to everyone else, I do not know. Master manipulator is all I can say!

Ugh, sorry to ramble, but your story got me pumped. I feel for you, and I hope that you are doing alright. I hope this forum has helped you release some anger and that you will possibly get some great answers from the people who post on here.

Thank you for taking the time to share all of that.

by **Chazz** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:48 am

Hi Cure

Thanks for the response. I do have to say that having a forum to let all that information out is amazing. Getting feedback from people with experiences like yours helps more than you know. It's the best therapy I have had since it ended.

I am sorry to hear about your experience. Does the husband suspect she has a PD?

Chazz

by **cure_e_us** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:04 am

My opinion on whether the husband suspects a PD? I really wouldn't know. I haven't talked to my ex in over 5 years. Just as long as we have been broken up for. So, for why she has tried to ruin my relationship (I'm married to a man I happily dated for 3 years) I couldn't tell you! I would have thought she would be thrilled that I was over her husband, and happy with my (now) husband. At the time she started interfering in our lives, I had been dating him for almost 9 months. She just seems to not like to see me happy, period. And the oddest thing of all, I have never once met this woman in person! None of this makes sense, I only know what she has put me and my husband through.

It started over 2 1/2 years ago, through the internet (Myspace) and has continued, even though I no longer have a Myspace. That was just her way of getting to know me and my husband. She found us online & started playing games. She created fake profile after fake profile after fake profile to write me and my husband and say the most off the wall things. We would block the profiles, but then a new one would arise. Did I tell HER husband about this? No. I have had no contact with him, nor did I want any. Our opinion on how to deal with this person was just to ignore her. I should say, it was a lot more of my husbands idea to "just ignore it". Delete our Myspace pages. She recently has went so far as to say that I hacked her Myspace page because I am obsessed with her! She deleted off her page, made a new one, and added everyone all over again, telling each one of them the dramatic story of her husband's psychotic ex hacking her page. Give me a break!!!! This was all one month before my wedding. I had been ignoring her for the longest time, and she HATED it. Just hated it. I was busy with wedding plans, was moving on from all the crap she'd tried to put us through, and BAM. She tells everyone I am a hacker, and I am obsessed with her. I no longer live in that town, so I really haven't "cleared" any of that up with anyone she told. I'm not sure the people she told would actually believe that I would do that! I sure hope not! My goodness. That is quite a stretch. A month before my wedding I would be (somehow?) hacking and obsessing. Lovely!

That's just a snippet of the events over the past couple years. I don't wish to get into the heart of it, I'm trying very very hard to be strong, to ignore all of the things she does, and just to educate myself on HPD, because after reading all the posts on here, I truly believe she is affected by HPD. Although that is sad, because I think she will never get help for that, as most people with HPD don't see a problem, it does make me feel sad for her, and makes me feel that she is not the monster I imagined her to be, rather she is sick and needs help.

I suppose I should of personally messaged all of that to you, but who knows, maybe someone will read and relate. I have really appreciated all the information and stories from this forum. They make me feel less alone in the drama of all this, because for the longest time I believed I was alone in this, how could other people treat people like this?

by **cure_e_us** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:11 am

Also I would say for the husband, that I am sure something has to be "off" about her to him, but he is the co-dependant type, so I believe he probably thinks he's taking care of her or trying hard to do so. I personally almost (just almost

) feel sorry for him! I don't think he has a clue as to what she does in her spare time. She sure isn't spending time with her children. She is on the computer all the time. I mean she had some very elaborate fake Myspace profiles, full of friends she couldn't have even known. They were added to make it look like this fake person, was a real person! One profile, she had 350,000 friends, because she had made a fake profile of a porn star. So those "friends" were porn lovers and porn stars alike. (I seriously couldn't MAKE this stuff up.) Her Myspace has always been full of pictures of herself, herself posing, herself laughing, herself being serious, herself showing off her body, etc. etc.

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