thanks

Wow...that's pretty intense stuff. I am so sorry to hear about that.

You sound like an awesome guy Chazz. Some woman will be very lucky to have you - - I just hope it will be someone opposite of what you've experienced! You certainly deserve that! I guess you already know what to look out for in the future, but as people have expressed on this site, you can't screen for this, you'll probably just have to take your next relationship slower, and maybe just hope for the best!!!

Best wishes to you~

Thanks! Oh I'm screening all right...There will be a DSM IV screening test in my back pocket for every date from now on...

Also inhibiting our regular sex life were the constant rejections I felt when we did have sex. M was as self-centered in the bedroom as out of it. If it was good for her we included it such as lotions and toys. If I wanted something like talking dirty, kinky positions or lingerie it was out …or if it was incorporated it was rare. M hated wearing lingerie. I bought her a truck load she never or rarely wore. Neutral things like porn or taking pictures or making movies were sometimes ok (no I will not be posting those..although they may be out there anyway as my laptop was stolen with all of them on there). What bothered me the most was that she only wanted missionary or doggie (the preferred position). She was constantly giving me directions. “Don’t do that” or “stop that” or “Why are you doing that” were frequently said by her. I wouldn’t call myself an avoidant or say my fear of rejection rises to the level of a phobia (perhaps it does) but rejection in the bedroom is just bad for a man’s ego. I did tell her about this. It continued anyway. There were a few times when I would just stop in the middle…get her off…and go to sleep.

Another thing that happened was that she was always in pain. I told her to see a doctor about it but she didn’t. If I began revving up the engine too much the eventual “ow..ow..ouch” would start and we would have to stop. Many times she would put herself on the disabled list after sex saying she was too sore and reject me before we even started. It became very frustrating for me. I couldn’t take the rejection after a while and would just shut down sexually. It got to the point where I would just prefer some porn (internet or otherwise) to sex (sad I know). I just never knew what to expect if I tried to initiate. I would even reject her advances at times. We talked about getting on a more regular schedule often but we didn’t. Again, when we did get going a fight would intervene and shut us down. Even though it wasn’t a serious request I suggested a sex therapist during one of our arguments. We never did.

The attraction was always there even at the end (at least on my part). Ironically I felt the sex life was improving greatly. We made love three times the last week we were together. That was good for us. But it was too late. I didn’t realize the damage to our relationship that was going on behind my back [/quote]


Carbon copy ,Chazz. Everybody here seems to had great porn sex with the HPD.

What a horrible experience for a man!

Do you mean the same thing happened to you?

Yes,only with a small difference: Neutral things like porn or taking pictures or making movies were sometimes ok .

She went to a Xmas party and didn’t come home that night. She comes back after 24 hours with a police car and deny that she spent the night with a co-worker.

Her demeanor was shocking. It was like a switch had been turned off. She went cold. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. I tried to get her to tell me what was going on. She wouldn’t talk to me. Her decision was final. She just wanted to “move on”.

Just remember you did this…this is your fault!!

Yes,same here.[/quote]

Sometimes we did have "porn star sex" but it was on special occasions and she admitted that it "wasn't her thing".

Don"t try to find any logic in her words. There is none,only cruelty,lies,cheating and arrogance.

You are not alone.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=_VN36ZJiN ... re=related

The ironic thing is that we used to watch "Cheaters" all the time.

thanks again