shallow emotions that shift rapidly

This is your first warning, KontrollerX!!! For lack of thinking in your posts!

.... Dont you just love these Deep thinking threads, it really makes you think outside the box.

Anyway, back to the real reality of this post. I was posting what I was thinking.. wow silly!

I WILL RETURN!!!

kjacob
In new studies completed last year in the good old US of A, it has now been proven that HPD's can have a huge amount of empathy, care love etc. So don't believe everything you read.

If you were in the relationship and felt love for this person and felt love from this person, chances are more than good that it was love. Didn't work out probably because the HPD is emotionally stunted and couldn't take this any furthur.

regards jamo

Thanks Jamo
The more I read, the less I understand...Or at least I change my mind very often.

Concerning my relatioship with the HPD, I've simply quit to try to understand. In some way, I think he does love me, but it didn't work. I remember once him saying that for he is very easy to fall in love, he falls in love with every single woman he dates, and the choice to stay with a particular woman depends on other factors: he prefers stunners with an easy and soft character (this is definitely not me!).

Although his "life love" neither doesn't fit this portrait...

Well, it didn't work and this is the only thing I know for sure. I did feel loved and I did love him but maybe this is not enough.

Love, kj

To give you an example:

My partner could watch the news about what was happening in Israel and Palestine and would cry her eyes out, absolutely howling with anguish. (She made aliyah to Israel many years ago and raised a family there - she left when it all got too much and the kids, one by one refused to serve in the IDF. In many ways she was entitled to cry her eyes out her dreams had been shattered.)

I would say to her, "Do you fancy going upstairs for a quick screw, then?" (My apologies for the crudity - even now I am being euphemistic) and the water works would imediately stop, her eyes would brighten up and I was a long way second going up the stairs.

In case you are wondering, I was testing the waters, not being deliberately insensitive.

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kjacob wrote:So I loved a fake? It was just all a fake? No affection, no friendship, no love?

This is the hardest thing for victims of any cluster B to face(especially if you gave them 10 years of your life).

Whether they really ever loved you or not is really an academic argument. The reality is, if they actually are capable of experiencing "love" for someone, it's so shallow as to be rendered meaningless.

First you have to ask yourself what is "love". If you really love someone, the thrill may pass, but in your heart you will always want good things for that person. The stronger the love, the more crap they can do and you will still care for them. I loved my ex-hpd very much, and with all the hell she put me through, I can never love her romantically again, but I still hope one day she finds healing(I wish good things for her.) That's love, real love doesn't die when things don't go your way.

With the HPD's, the "love" they have for you can turn on a dime. Depending on what feelings are raging up inside of them, one minute they can pour out affection on you and the next they can't stand you, and when their insecurity is threatened enough through Narcissistic injury, you are in for the ride of your life! So there is really no evidence that they actually are capable of real empathy or love for another person. Bottom line, they are always most interested in themselves and like a drug addict, they will do whatever it takes to whoever they need to to get what they want(narcissistic supply), that is the exact opposite of the definition of love or empathy.

Starchecker raises some good points. Histrionics are not capable of real intimacy or empathy they either idealize or devalue their lovers and tend to get involved with people who collude with their histrionic behavior and desire not to self activate. They will run from or push away people who want to get close and who confront their immature behavior.