First Post

James, play nice.

Rules and communication mean many things to many people, some like to lay down the law, others more of a senate type system.

In a sense it is everyone's body, so rather than one person deciding what's going on, which can promote hostility and discord between alters/parts/persons(what-have-you), it helps to promote unity, harmony, and cooperation.

And a warm welcome 513303!

FFS would people stop taking things out of context. No one said that one person makes up the rules but the body sure as $#%^ doesn't belong to everyone. I know this body I live in doesn't belong to me, it's Cate's body and I agree to the rules that we ALL decided on. But at the end of the day if Cate doens't like something that's being done she gets the final say because this body and this life are HERS and no one elses.

It's hard to play nice when people keep kicking sand in your face for no reason.

James

Hi James,
It sounds like you respect Cate and that you trust her to do what is best for all. That's great!

I can see how it feels to be out of context, I don't want to speak for Una+.

For myself, I have seen others use the "It's your body" phrase used commonly in the more negative context; of which you have explained is not what you are trying to say. If it helps any, I do imagine Una+ has the best intentions at heart, as I imagine you do as well.

I just really have contention with your last phrase, as slightly unnecessary.

Thank you though for taking the time to expand upon what you had said earlier, I'm sorry it feels like sand being kicked in your face. No harm intended.

Borg, my last phrase came out of frustration. I appreciate that everyone has their own ideas and opinions of how things should be done here and everyone that replies to a thread is just trying to help.

It's fine that Una+ has their own ideas but to straight out discount what Cate said and say it's wrong, even though it's quite obvious they didn't understand what she was saying, is down right disrespectful and it pisses me off.

I admit I'm a hot head and I can get carried away sometimes and I won't harp on this anymore because it'll just end up getting Cate in trouble and we've totally hijacked this person's thread. I'm done.

James

It sounded to me like he was saying that the speaker owns the body ad therefore gets to make the rules. I see how that can be seen as hostile...

Thanks sooooooooooo much. He just said "ok", which is a really huge thing cause he doesnt usually speak. Dont worry bout the other posts its nice to see how other people communicate with alts.
I just want to cry now

513303

Motley loves experimenting with drugs mainly weed and acid though. He also smokes a lot. Alice sometimes smokes but she drinks a lot when she is extremeley depressed. I have tried reasoning with both of them to stop, Motley usually just says "Feels good Man" or the classic "Don't want to". Alice has tried to stop smoking but has failed multiple times. She finds it hard to stop drinking, she hates the body.I have given up on stoping either. Kyras is a nazi as stated before and a narcissist. He thinks he is smarter and superior to all of us.

They have told me that I am too controllive of them all and that I'm acting like I own the body. They have also stated I am too negative and I often discount positive traits in them. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or not....

No, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. As far as the drinking, unless you have a medical problem with it, like liver problems or alcoholism in your family history, it's not really too much of a problem. The other drugs, tho, can harm the body. And yeah, if it's your own body, you have the right to do what you want to it. But the problem is that you share a body. So you all have to agree on whether to allow certain potentially dangerous substances into the body. If you don't agree, it should be avoided. Talking it out is necesary on both ends. The ones who don'tlike it need to explain why they think it shouldn't be done and the ones who do it should explain why they think it's actually ok. And if everyone doesn't agree to let the substance in then steps should be made to stop the use of the substance, or honor whatever the conditions were.

With me and Jen, for example. We smoke marijuana. It's a seasonal thing, because that's when we have best access,, so it's not an addiction as mmuch as a pasttime. The onlyproblem she has with it is when I smoke before bed and she has to wake up in the morning she says she gets a headache and can hardly function. So she didn't want me to smoke before bed. But I, unlike her, have insomnia. I can't get to sleep easily without it. So my main time to smoke is before bed. So I try to limit my use to when I'm pretty confident that I'll be the one going to sleep and waking up, and she accepts that I sleep better withit and just tries to deal with any sudden change in plans. But if her coming out to the front before I fall asleep is something that I should have been able to predict, I had better not smoke. That's the rule.