Innkeeper?

I was trying to find out more about those in my system. While I was doing this I heard a new name. She is the innkeeper. Does anyone know what an innkeeper is/does? Does anyone else have one?

Non DID here, but It almost sounds like it could be an internal self helper. I think you just need to kind of wait to see what their role is. My husband has a ISH but we call her the mother (no resemblance to his real "mother" who was his abuser), because she makes sure everything is going well inside and takes care of/teaches the littles.

Your system is progressing quickly and it sounds like there's a broad basis for cooperation. Yes, an internal helper was my first thought as well. I'm sure you'll learn more soon.

If you think about what an innkeeper is like in real life -- your alters taking the place of guests in the analogy -- I would think you may have a good understanding. Innkeepers in real life are providers and caretakers of others. They make it their job to know everyone and see that they're comfortable.

When I paid more attention to my innkeeper, to see what she's like, it makes sense what you say her role would be. She does make sure everyone's ok. She's sweet and gentle and very motherly over the little ones. She even tucks them in bed. Had a weird visual of her tucking them in bed.

Perhaps because of the person I am, those in my system know that it's ok to get to know me and let me know that they exist. I do want them part of my life - they have become my friends. I have known 2 other people in the last few years with DID and those in my system would have more than likely seen how I respond to those with DID and that I was accepting of it.

My whole system is very reserved though. Most of the time others would be co-conscious with me, very rarely it seems that I do completely switch - I only realize this when I have evidence of a full switch. But i'm so used to being co-conscious with them... except when a lot want to come out at the same time constantly then I end up feeling extremely nauseus!!! I think as a whole we avoid people and issues because I guess it just means we would trigger less. Everyone likes to keep to their own though, except my 3yr old who will talk my ear off!!!! And play the soundtrack to my littler mermaid over and over and over again

I feel happy that they are there, they are company, they are my friends, I accept them and I perhaps end up feeling closer to them than I do outsiders... obviously except for the fact that they are already stil part of me haha.

The more I learn, the more I discover others. Already up to 9. Last week thursday I thought I only had 4.

That's fascinating. No one of my alters has identified themselves as an "innkeeper" but there are certainly some that fulfill that role in different ways. We didn't assign roles until we read how helpful it can be to do so. It seems like you are taking this big change in your life with patience and understanding. I am really glad.

I feel happy that they are there, they are company, they are my friends, I accept them and I perhaps end up feeling closer to them than I do outsiders

This is also very much how I feel. I discovered my alters after a traumatic event, however I feel that they were forming l years before this event, which was only a couple years ago. They rose as feelings that I had repressed for a long time and were very intense at first. However they are all my friends, and we try to support each other. We are a tight-knit family, still trying to find our balance.

My whole system is very reserved though. Most of the time others would be co-conscious with me, very rarely it seems that I do completely switch - I only realize this when I have evidence of a full switch.

This sounds very similar with how my alters interact in my life. I think they are often available and present to perform certain tasks, but a full takeover is rare. However, I feel, in my case, I need each alter to be able to fully take over, so that we can fully discover all each has to offer, why each was created, and how to make ourselves as a whole, happy. There are many circumstances in my life that I believe have built up to where and who I am today, and one of them is the repression of emotions, and hence repression of parts of myself that have been developing separately without my knowledge. Now, I want to know them, implicitly.
It was good to hear your story, or at least this little part of it. Thanks for sharing.

doe-eyed wrote:This sounds very similar with how my alters interact in my life. I think they are often available and present to perform certain tasks, but a full takeover is rare. However, I feel, in my case, I need each alter to be able to fully take over, so that we can fully discover all each has to offer, why each was created, and how to make ourselves as a whole, happy.

This sounds much like my situation as well, though it seems most of my alters had gone into hibernation. Once I realized I had DID last year and that we were co-conscious when someone was out, I began to feel that what would be most healing would be for them to take over fully. I wanted to get to know them, sense their emotions, and see who they were naturally, what choices they made, how they interacted with the world. It may have been a bias in what I was reading, but the psychological literature didn't seem to suggest "yes, switch, as often as you can." Quite the opposite. Still, I decided to proceed on instinct.

In our case, we have so many littles, it felt positively cruel not to let them play, to be who they are. So I encouraged everyone to come into the body, even those who apparently never had or rarely had and didn't want to. It was definitely the right decision. In our case, the more time my alters are out and the less time I am, the better we feel as a system, the more healing that seems to happen. I don't know if this would work for everyone. I do have the advantage of not having other people in my home environment who would make switching problematic.

I know a lot of people suffer from uncontrolled switching and I have sympathy from having to deal with that chaos in childhood. But my switching is almost entirely under control, done at will, and I have to say I love it. It is a tremendous relief not to have to be me all the time. The fact is, "I" am not just me and never have been. So someone prescribing that I as the host need to maintain control, that I ought to subdue or minimize my alters, that they're somehow less real, is ludicrous. I am all of us and several of us are more "me" than I am, that is, more natural to the body.

I began to feel that what would be most healing would be for them to take over fully. I wanted to get to know them, sense their emotions, and see who they were naturally, what choices they made, how they interacted with the world.

This is exactly how I feel!

It is a tremendous relief not to have to be me all the time. The fact is, "I" am not just me and never have been. So someone prescribing that I as the host need to maintain control, that I ought to subdue or minimize my alters, that they're somehow less real, is ludicrous. I am all of us and several of us are more "me" than I am, that is, more natural to the body.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
It certainly is exhausting to be the one forward all the time. To not think that I am required to do this, or that it's "better" for me, is a relief.