blogging and DID

A lot of people here have their own blogs outside this forum and many have taken advantage of the blog feature here. Most of my entries here have been attempts at mapping and describing my system, listing rather than diary-like entries. I'm looking at posting my personal journal I started a couple days shy of a year ago, when my DID was absolutely confirmed to me, onto a blog and adding developments online plus other features, but I realize I'll have to anonymize it, taking out references to specific individuals, my job and my real identity.

My primary purpose would be to share what my own mind went and will go through in dealing with DID with those who are confused and don't know what to make of what's happening to them. I benefited tremendously from reading biographies of people with DID or any dissociative disorder and I believe somebody somewhere could benefit from comparing their experience to mine. Also, I can't help but think that focusing on adding entries will help invest me in the world of the living to some extent. At some point in my life, I think I'll want to "out" myself in my career and my life. How else am I going to find a wife who has/had DID?

1. Why did you start your blog? What was and is your purpose in continuing it?

2. Anything about blog software or blog hosting + DID that I should know?

3. Any suggestions for allowing/not allowing comments?

*** trigger ***
4. I'm very wary about putting anything about CSA online that might draw or be of interest to pedophiles. The very thought creeps me out. I also realize some people with DID may have pedophilic tendencies. Am I worrying about this for nothing? All the SA I know of was familial or my father was present. I don't want to be so vague that what I write doesn't make sense but I don't know how far to go. The purpose of my alters was mostly to deal with specific abuse. Any suggestions?

John wrote:I can't help but think that focusing on adding entries will help invest me in the world of the living to some extent.

Apples and oranges here, I think. Time spent online is time not interacting directly with people. To be with other people I think you have to actually be with other people. I see no other way around it.

John wrote:At some point in my life, I think I'll want to "out" myself in my career and my life. How else am I going to find a wife who has/had DID?

back attcha. When that time comes you could point the interested party here just as well as to a blog. I dislike the blog format. I don't even like reading anyone else's blog. In my experience blogs do not build relationships and community anywhere near as well as participating in a forum does.

I agree with Una. It's far better to be out living your life. If however you don't and instead sit in front of the tube with chocolates, you might as well write about something instead.

Una+ wrote:Time spent online is time not interacting directly with people. To be with other people I think you have to actually be with other people. I see no other way around it.

Can't I just keep typing here in my den? Yes, with chocolates! Doesn't that count? Okay, yes, I know exactly what you mean and it's something I must prioritize over computering. I isolate enough as it is. Being home bound has 'infected' my alters as well and it drives almost everybody else crazy. Sphinx, who only took control of the body for brief check ins but listens to the complaints of the alters, actually took over recently from me and made the body go for a walk, turning it back over after we were a couple blocks away. Very freaky experience but the point was made.

I guess I was thinking of acknowledging the value of my experience to others, meaning maybe I should remain on the planet a while longer. But connecting with real physical people has got to create more powerful anti-suicidal thoughts for me/us personally than blogging alone. Amen, say about five or six of them inside.

I have several hundred pages of journal entries and they wouldn't fit in my blog here. My recording of the first week and month have paralleled what happens for so many posters here. The wild fluctuations in identity, the flashbacks, the constant dissociation, the parade of returning alters, the exhaustion, the feeling you're falling apart, the utter shock of it all, followed by some re-balancing and stabilization as (hopefully) you learn how to better cope with it all and compartmentalize the trauma. I would probably need to cull the journal because so many entries are variations on a theme: I can't believe this is happening to me, somebody got upset again today, is this real?, a little did something adorable, suicidal ideation, etc.

For my own use, I'm hoping a blog could help us organize our thoughts and observations for a potential autobiography or a screenplay. Jonathan in particular is pushing us to plan for our life beyond the trauma, even while we're recovering and processing difficult memories. Being a pragmatist, he says that even in the midst of war, a wise leader is already planning for the aftermath, however it turns out.

I'd also like a place to start organizing my resources, like notes on DID articles or books, especially biographies. Who knows, I may want to keep it private at first. I have a lot of files online but they're not organized.

Well, I'd certainly be interested in it!

As you know I blog and blogging was a HUGE part of my life when I was housebound. I would have had absolutely NO connection AT ALL if it wasn't for the online community that is blogging.

What people say is true, it doesn't make up for face to face interaction, but as something alongside it, why on earth not? I think what you'd have to say would really help people, like me. Funnily enough that's why I IM'ed you :p

Bourbon

Hello John,

Like Bourbon, I would be quite interested to hear all that you have to share/offer. I'm sure others would feel the same way.

Johnny-Jack wrote:1. Why did you start your blog? What was and is your purpose in continuing it?

I started my blog for several reasons. 1) to document my experience. Since I have the worst memory in the world, I can't remember anything from one day to the next. If I didn't write down what occurred during my therapy session, for example, by the time the next session comes around I will have no recollection of the last one. 2) to connect and share with others. I do feel quite isolated in my own life. Few in-person people in my life really know the extent of what I deal with on a daily basis, with the exception of my partner. I thought that by writing my experience and having the ability for others to see it, and share their experience, that I could feel more connected to people in this way. I would say it has definitely done that. 3) helps me to make sense of my experience. If I was a journaler (which I have been in the past), then journaling would satisfy this last one. However, for whatever reason, I haven't been able to keep a journal over the last couple of years. But strangely, if I blog about it with the intention of sharing it with others, I am able to get it out of my head. Not always, but much of the time.

Johnny-Jack wrote:2. Anything about blog software or blog hosting + DID that I should know?

Sorry I'm not even sure what this means. I use wordpress and there's a lot of people who post on there about DID and DDNOS, so I think it's a good one. I've been happy with it.

Johnny-Jack wrote:3. Any suggestions for allowing/not allowing comments?

For the first few times someone attempts to comment on your blog (at least in wordpress), they send it to you to screen first and you are given the option to approve the comment or not approve it. In this way, you have the power to decide what you feel is appropriate and what is not to be posted on your blog. I have never not approved a comment, simply because every comment I've ever gotten was caring, thoughtful, and supportive.


As far as your other concerns John, about attracting pedophiles... Honestly I wouldn't worry too much about this. If pedophiles are scanning the internet looking for stories of CSA, I doubt someone's blog about DID would attract their attention. Not any more than this forum would, for example. They would have to read through all your blog postings to maybe glimpses or examples of CSA which, to me, seems like they wouldn't bother. If your blog was geared toward discussing CSA, that was the focus, and it would be primarily stories of CSA, I might say this could be an issue but... Also, any blog posting you post (again, in wordpress) you have the power to have that post be "public", "password protected", or "private" (meaning only you can see). This can add an extra layer of protection if you feel you are sharing sensitive material (I have done several of the latter types of posts myself).

Overall though, my blog is like my lifeline. That might sound strange, because it's not a living breathing thing, but - it's my writing. It represents who I am on the inside. It reflects a world that very few are welcomed into in my daily life. So therefore to me, it's sacred. It's not always beautifully written, and it's not always pretty, but it's mine. It's my words, it's my story. And it will listen when no one else will.

Hope this helps!
Brandic

John, you are asking about two separate issues here. One issue is format, the other is content. My previous response was entirely about format. I see the tremendous value of your content. Your posts here on this forum are consistently well informed and insightful. Even without the content you produce, I see your tremendous value as a human being. However, in that you are asking for external validation as an antidote for depression and suicidal thoughts, I have to respond that real validation comes only from within yourself.

Hang in there.