T's and their dependability

I would actually try this new T if she does EMDR, because you're in the middle of treatment that includes that. You are under no obligation to stay with her. She could be an awesome fit for you and feel comfortable fairly early. And passing general info from one T to another can be useful, it's happening for me now. Something is clearly off with your T's behavior.

What she's doing is most likely not aimed at you, it's probably what happens everywhere in her life. But that doesn't much soften the annoyance factor or frustration or experience of being disrespected. ADHD and OCD are linked with chronic lateness or chronic lateness syndrome. I've had a couple friends who are so affected and it costs them relationships for sure. Passive aggressive behavior can also cause such lateness but, yeah, let's hope it's not that.

Assert your thoughts on this to her. You don't have to be rude or aggressive but it would be healthy to be able to be honest and tell her how it makes you feel. That is the minimum I'd suggest.

I don't know much about this new T. I'll have to find out what her qualifications and experiences are as far as EMDR go. Really all I found out about her yesterday was that she is from another country and we have an uncommon language in common. She knows that I have DID (and she has worked with someone with DID in a graduate student setting) and have trouble with social interactions.

Questions/topics for next week:
1. Current T's tardiness and why it's a problem, including safety and stability
2. Mutual respect in a client and T setting
3. Resident's abilities as far as EMDR, hypnosis and the like go
4. Other as we think of it

Bottom line....

This T is bringing into YOUR therapy her own issues and you are paying for it - one way or the other. She either needs to get it together or be replaced quickly.

Definitely talk to her about the tardiness.

I'll try to remind you if I remember.

It bugs me a lot that she doesn't respect your time or money. Either way you know I support your decision.

My T just issued a request toward me insisting from my HMO that i see her on a limited QTY AT half the length we have been seeing...she didn't even talk to me first, forgets, half the sh*t we talk about and now after gaining her trust (my trust) she's acting like a complete...idk...this will be the second time i've been ditched by an unreliable therapist...or one not willing to take their responsiblity and do what they were taught and sworn to do which is help their patients... even if it's tough...and every time it gets difficult they bail...I am starting to lose my respect for all these guys or maybe i just got two unlucky apples within the last 6 months... owe well i guess ill just keep trucking on and who knows? maybe i was mistakin, maybe when i meet her tomorrow and we finally get to talk for the first time within the last 7 days to know once again that she's already forgotten half the crap i told her...maybe ill find that this was just a big misunderstanding...and that i have my anger under control after all... and that i can take a deep bredth and just...roll with it. I'm sure this was nothing

I feel jaded about this whole thing, because the two major Ts I've had were not good experiences. The first was almost incompetent; he never gave us any advice, only listening to us talk on and on about various unrelated concepts... I realized that he was leeching our money off of us for no service at all. The second one was competent, but not a great match... It doesn't help that most of us, myself included, can be rather insufferable at times. But at our final session we ended up very angry with each other and he became rather unprofessional. So I know what it's like to have a bad T, like so many of those who posted above. I wish you luck, whatever you do- I don't really have any advice, only sympathy.

I agree with the post above. I want a T that is going to set me straight and not tip toe around everything. Heck I want to heal, not be treated like a child. I know many want to go to a T and just talk for the most part. Instead I email the page from my blog every single day, he replies back in great detail. I feel everything I need to say is covered. Then when me meet, he has a goal in mind for that session and we are not done until we cover what was planned.

This is just something to keep in mind if you are new T shopping. I know I have it good and most will not get this, but it's worth trying!

Well, we managed to broach the subject before getting too scared.

We were a mess yesterday. Very, very switchy.

I was too afraid to tell her that I'm upset, but we managed to tell her that Victor is mad at her (which is true also). She said that Victor had a right to be mad. Then ended that portion of the conversation. She said she wants us to get angry about what happened to us as a child. She wants screaming. She wants tears.

Then one of my Littles came out and asked her to draw a Christmas tree. Which she did, and it's lovely but not very helpful.

#$%I*)@, we are really good at distracting her and undermining everything we're trying to accomplish.

hey littlereddogtoo...

I'm so sorry to hear that the session didn't go as you had planned it. I too would be frustrated. Do you think you could explain how you feel in an email, including the part that you wanted to tell her but instead you distracted her? There have been some things that I had a really rough time bringing up, and it helped telling my T in an email. She doesn't respond via email, because that's against her ethics, but rather we go over it at session. It helps though to know I've already told her my thoughts before I even walk in the office.

I still think this issue is something that needs to be discussed. Email may be the best way to get the ball rolling.

Huh, what is she suggesting Victor has a right to be mad over? Did she clarify? I agree with divided... perhaps an email is the way to go?

Bourbon