two different questions....

brandonsmom777 wrote:I get so dizzy I feel I'm about to fall over. What about having DID or DDNOS makes you dizzy?

Like Tylas said, this is from severe dissociation. Specifically, severe depersonalization. Your brain is dissociating the normal sensory perceptions (proprioception and interoception) from your body, and in the absence of those perceptions you become physically disoriented. Grounding skills address this.

Although I have had DID all my life, I have experienced depersonalization as severe as this for only a few months, earlier this year.

Una... I still have problems understanding Depersonalization!

I took a test and my score was as high as it gets, but I still don't understand it.

tylas wrote:It's the dissociation. I can't see how anyone with DID could tolerate being drunk much, although I will drink some at times to not feel even more, but not enough to get drunk.

Why do you say that, tylas.
I cannot support alcool myself, I get sick before even being really drunk.

Also, I have strange headaches all the time. Like a cold fever, which was never explained. Is that what others here are experiencing?
My body feels weak when I have that. I may shiver and I will be sort of numb and my mind foggy. Not like derealization though. It is less bad, but still fairly incapacitating. Sometimes painkillers can help the pain, but not always. Sleeping seems the only way I can get by this.

Because it's how I feel and what I experience.

I am lost on derealization. I don't understand it. Maybe its all I know? I am not sure, but I don't know when I feel this. I always feel someone else with me. I don't know any other way?

I have read headaches are common with DID and from fighting the switching, but perhaps it is somatic? I have a lot of somatic body issues that alters claim to cause. Maybe when you sleep you are not fighting your alters and they can come out. Mine are super active at night and I have learned to live with it and accept it.

tylas wrote:I am lost on derealization. I don't understand it. Maybe its all I know? I am not sure, but I don't know when I feel this. I always feel someone else with me. I don't know any other way?

That is the problem with it, when you are in it, you think it is your normal self and you always were like that, of cannot remember anything else. That is how it is for me anyway.

Sometimes I have the impression that I wake up another person that I went to sleep as, so maybe you are right. One thing that always puzzled me is that my headaches tend to go away when the sun goes down or when it rains. There is no scientific explanation for this, so it must be psychological.

Black Widow wrote:

tylas wrote:I am lost on derealization. I don't understand it. Maybe its all I know? I am not sure, but I don't know when I feel this. I always feel someone else with me. I don't know any other way?

That is the problem with it, when you are in it, you think it is your normal self and you always were like that, of cannot remember anything else. That is how it is for me anyway.

Sometimes I have the impression that I wake up another person that I went to sleep as, so maybe you are right. One thing that always puzzled me is that my headaches tend to go away when the sun goes down or when it rains. There is no scientific explanation for this, so it must be psychological.

Somatic illness is interesting. 2.5 years ago when Jessica and her twin Stephan on Level 0 split, they developed a corn allergy. I had never thought of it, but my T pointed out the timing. I asked inside and Wikki said she was responsible for it. I am not sure this is true, but my parts answer the best they can with the knowledge they have. They don't lie, but like a child they try and answer with confidence even when they don't know if something is right for sure.

Try communicating with that part that wakes up and see. They may not answer at first, so give it some time.



Off on a tangent... just ignore unless you are interested in dreams...
I always have parts that I call dreamweavers. They are allowed to tell me anything via a dream. They stick around in the morning to help me interpret that dream. It's quite interesting, but level 25 only allows my system to answer yes or no and to tell me things via dreams. The one that was host the last couple of years, Jessica, that most here know, is the new dreamweaver. She is having trouble with her timing though. She usually wakes me instead of just telling the dream. It sounds really odd, but this is how it is. The past dreamweaver is the only part that has integrated with me - helga on Level 25. She had to so I had memory after level 25 allowed the core self to finally come out.

tylas wrote:Try communicating with that part that wakes up and see. They may not answer at first, so give it some time.

How?

oops... I wrote the answer to this in another thread! I read it early then thought about it and clicked on the other to answer. I will paste it here too.

-- Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:09 pm --

How it worked for me....

I wanted to work on my childhood memories because of problems I had been having, so I told myself before going to bed it was okay. That is when it all began.

If I were religious I would have thought I was processed by evil spirits.

Instead of being afraid, I was curious. It was like a science project. I wanted to know what was going on. I would notice facial expressions on my face as if someone was molding my face like putty - the facial expression were triggered by so many words. This is why I don't get triggers much. I can't read anything without there being a trigger in it - Mother, Father, Brother, Sister are some of the worst triggers. The facial expressions would be followed by pseudoconvulsions which I found fascinating. This went on for weeks and weeks. I was curious. I started to understand that this was all parts of myself. My core self had never been out since I was an infant and I did not know that either. I was Jessica. A host split 2.5 years ago. Basically what worked for me is that I would welcome what was happening and allow it to occur. It worked.

I finally got brave enough to ask for help and call a therapist - email actually. I am not good at phones. She thought at first it was PTSD and compartmentalized memories. She gave me a book to read on the Inner Child. As the book instructed, I made tapes in my own voice thinking this was just an inner child issues and it addressed childhood neglect. But my inner child or children became very interactive and parts would read with me. Soon the DX was DDNOS. Then we started mapping and she noticed I kept loosing time while in sessions as other parts would take over. The DX became DID. She did not have the experience she thought she should have with DID so she passed me on to who I see now who is amazing.

What was really going on? I certainly did not know back then. Now I know my dream weaver sent me the dreams that started all this. I would just think of that dream and it brought parts forward. A young one, Hope, who's job is to get us help came out and she was followed by system protectors such as the gorilla who made her keep quiet by beating her. (I did not know this at the time) All this was causing a ruckus! The little one, Hope was persistent as was the gorilla in trying to stop her from letting me know she existed. Hope, like most of my exiles has PTSD. The slightest noise and she convulses and startles.

Bottom line - I am not sure how they will present to you. I can only tell you how they did with me. I can strongly suggest however, don't be afraid of them, don't lock them up in bad places. You need to love them and care for them all, no matter what! Accept ALL parts of yourself. They are separate and they are one. They don't really want to be alone. No child does. IMHO (and that of some authors of DID books) they want integration - to not be alone. I did use containment, but the protectors are locked up in their own paradise for the time being until we get along farther in therapy. However, when needed, they break through anything I have set up and come out and do their job - attacking any part that dare speak or write. Inside however their is peace, at the moment, as long as no one breaks the rules (rules made so many years ago) and communicates with me or anyone outside other than answering yes or no answers, sending dreams or sharing feelings.

I do have permission to process trauma memories with my current therapist, but only with him. They trust his intelligence and that he knows what he is doing. We however are still working on that trust and have not started to process the memories yet.


The ISH was the last of 267 alters that I found. It was hiding on Level 0 that I did not know existed.

Hi Tylas,

Thanks a lot for your sharing of that experience, I really appreciate the time you took to write that, as I am sure this question has been asked so many times here.

I will try to work on that, and accept all my parts and stop censuring them.

Sorry for having gone OT on this.

You are welcome. Not all here agree with how I do things, all I can tell you is what worked for me.